Sunderland today were absolutely below average.
As were the bindippers.
It was freezing cold.
The roads in the area were blocked and it took ages to get there.
Most of the bus were whinging about hangovers from work-dos.
And the match was crap.
Still we won,hmmmmmmmmmmm.
Oh and I am snowed in and cannot get the car out of the street.
-- Anonymous, December 22, 2001
Ok, Ok. After great personal sacrifice, here we go (her we go, here
we go).
TW3
The first part of the week has been well chronicled here, there and
everywhere. Toon won in Laandahn, as as Pit Bill kept reminding us,
THERE IS NO LAHNDAAN JINX. Part two dawned on Saturday morning
with a trip to Leeds via the barbers in Alnwick. "Hmm - is that snow
ootside?" Ne'ertheless, the Stealth Astra was fuelled up and loaded
with presents for various offspring, hangers on and me. The journey
to Alnwick was - well, let's just say interesting. I was late
but the hairdresser was witing for me, scissors in hand. Why did she
remind me of my ex?
Suitably shorn, the Stealth Astra (shall I call her Stella???) hit
the A1 and headed sooth. Bad news - the weather was getting even
worse and a call from Clarky heralded the first casualty of the day.
4x4 stuck in snow in Jesmond ;-) and we were doon to three :-(
Travelling conditions on the Western Bypass were pretty bad and thru
Cowgate wasn't much better. But after slip-sliding away, I finally
arrived at the Central to pick up "the friend who missed Victory up
the @rse. The Redheugh Bridge was slow and pretty sh!tty so a detour
thru Gazzaland was called for, followed by a short-cut thru Team
Valley Tading Estate (just in case anybu99a needs to knaa for future
lyek). Weshertun Sorvices was reached without mishap and a virgin Pit
Bill joined the crew for the journey to the Land o' Puddings. A call
to (Mungo) brought better news. Nee snae in Ripon
but plenty of blue tits (surely they could have turned the heating up
in the pub when the Smoggie lasses did their torn??).
Thereafter, the journey to Elland Road was pretty uneventful, save for
running oot o' watta in the screenwash and the flight deck showing 7
miles fuel left. Canny planning, Aah caal it. The expected meet-up in
The Peacock was kayeboshed (sp???) 'cos it was homos only (or did Aah
hear wrang?) but we met Loony Toon and we cut wor losses, heading for
the bar in the away end. A quick shuffty found Steve T with his mate
and a canny few pints were enjoyed by aal, tho Aah hev ti say it's the
forst tyum in a lang tyum Aah've hat ti wear me gloves ti howld a
glass o' beer. Did Aah say it was caad??? Weel, it wez!!
And so to the match. Leeds hoyed everything they could at us but they
were neewhere as good as @rse and we looked pretty comfy. Then, a
great break doon the right by the Nobster found Bellamy in the 6 yd
(0.90680100755667506297229219143577 metre) box and his delicate flick
found the back of the net. Whey-Hey!! Sing we are, we are, we are
top of the league (SWAWAWATOTL). But not for long, and a lapse in
defence let in Lee Bowyer (for the second time this week?) to slot it
past Shay. Bu99er. Were we distraught? Were we fcuk. Even louder
rendition of the chant of the week Heeeeyyyyyy, Lee Bowyer, Ooh
Ahh! Aahwannaknow why you're not in jail. Marvellous!! Halftime
arrived and I felt a lot more comfortable than the @rse - perhaps it
was the northern beer?? In all honesty, we'd given as good as we got
and could feel prety pleased with the game so far.
Perhaps the turning point came just after HT when Harry Karry was
subbed by EriK Cacker only minutes into the second half. Hard to say,
but HK had been causing a few probs - but none too much to cope with.
Anyway, Verucca was very fortunate to get away with only a foul which
ref Winter clearly indicated as an elbow yet stranngely decided not to
award a yellow to the Fat Ozzie B@$t@rd. Perhaps his eyes
weren't used to the clear air in Leeds. This had another potential
major impact on the game when the aforementioned FOB raked his studs
doon Nick-the-Greek's shin, necessitating NTG to be carried off on a
stretcher. Fingers crossed he's OK. This brought on Distin into the
centre of defence.
Shortly after HT, The Puddings enjoyed their best period of the game
and Verucca turned Andy O'Brien delightfully (for the neutrals) and
slotted past Shay. This seemed to set panic into the defence for a
while and Ian Harte banged in a shot at the near post. Fron where I
was, I thought Shay could have tiped it round, but I was a long way
away. Bu99er. But unlike last the last few years, we didn't let our
heeds gaan doon and we chipped away. We started to win balls in MF
that we weren't winning in the first half and we slowly came back into
it. A great run by Kevin thru the inside right channel anded with
athe ball being cleared from the goal area straight to Robbie Elliot's
heed and he dutifully nutted it back into the goal. The Toon Army
went wild. We were on the way back. This seemed to stun Leeds, and
from this point on, they weren't in the game. More Toon pressure
brought a penalty when EriK handled in the box. Just like earlier in
the week, Shearer stepped up with a determined look on his
face and he gave the Cornish Pastie no chance. 3-3. Game on.
SWAWAWATOTL!!
My companion-for-the-day (Dougal) was ready to call it a day at this
stage. Well, she'd hardly seen any of the second half, having the
dubious distinction of being the only one of six thoosand Geordies to
sit doon at Elland Road ;-) But no, an optimistic Screach said we
had to go for the winner. And so we did! Nobs got the baal
oot on the right, skinned Harte for the umpteenth time and beat Martyn
with a low one to his right. Pandemonium broke out for the second
time in a week. Unbefcukinglievable. "Peep, peep, peep" went the
Smoggie and we had won a crackin' table-toping game. SWAWAWATOTL!!
It was a fantastic result and a fantastic game. In all honesty, the
callers on Radio Aire and 606 were pretty gracious in their praise and
it Bill nearly wet himself (so nowt new there then) when we listened
in the car on the way back - a journey which included running out of
petrol in a pub carpark. That's what I call planning!
The journey back was even more eventful than that to Alnwick, but
somehow, we managed to pay hommage to St Bobby Robson in Lnagley Park
on the way to Consett and do a pretty good impression of Scott and
Amundsen as Pit Bill and I escorted Dougal thru the 6 ft snowdrifts in
the drive. Weshertun was even worse, loosing quite picturesque in the
falling snow. Sadly, nee Mackems were oot in the streets. I wonder
why!!
All that was left was to hit the A1 and head north for Powburn. Ha
ha. All that was left! As the Cramlington turn went by, I realised I
was the only bu99er daft enough to be on the road. Quite an eery
experience with snow falling and drifts across the road. But ye knaa
wot? After this week, nowt was ganna stop me and I eventually reached
The Plough (ahem) just before closing time. FOr the second
time in a week, I was greeted as the hero who had witnessed
Newcassel win Away. Sant must have been well pleased with the
singing!! I have to say, far, far too much alcohol was consumed, and
when I steped ootside, the snow was over my boots and halfway up my
shin. Living only half a mile from a pub that never closes can be a
great thing, but when that half mile is the hypotenuse of a
right-angled triangle and the snow is deep and crisp and even, perhaps
it's not a good idea to drive hyem! But I made it, slightly after
1:00am. And it was all worth it. I've experienced just over 50 years
on this earth.. But I tell you , in all those 2626 weeks, there have
been few as good as this one! Merry Christmas Everybody. Hic Hic
Hooray!!
Eee! That Was The Week That Was :-D
-- Anonymous, December 22, 2001
If I took much notice of the local talk-in, Sunday Sun & various
letters pages, I'd believe that the failing of NUFC up to now has
been the inability of Solano & Robert to track back & work hard. As
I've only been to 5 games this season I've bowed to the more
regular's judgement, but up until yesterday I thought the teams
undoing was that Lee & Speed effectively did the same job & neither
had the power & creativity to get forward & cause problems. In my
eyes, they sat too deep putting a lot of pressure on the wide players
to create & we were one-dimensional.
The Leeds game convinced me that I am right & everyone else is wrong.
Replacing Lee with Dyer gave us so much more in midfield. Even when 3-
1 down, Leeds could not defend 3 fast & mobile midfielders with Speed
having his best game since the Qtr final against Barnsley we played
some flowing stuff. Solano was brilliant and could never be described
as lazy. Dyer proved how so many United fans have been wrong to
suggest we take the money for him We like our midfielders to have
skill, pace & vision on the pitch & if they are womanising champagne
Charlies off it (short of getting into fisticuffs) all the better in
my book, if I were them I'd make the most of it. Robert faded in the
second half but his tight passing & pace caused Leeds some headaches
in the first. He could learn a lot from Dyer in tracking back, Dyer
doesn't go to ground but does enough to let his opposite number know
he's there, his goal apart, Bowyer rarely got a free ride.
It was sad to see Dabs go off who enjoyed the rough & tumble against
Viduka (who should have gone, it may have been a forward’s tackle
but potentially leg-breaking all the same). Distin came on & is a
very good centre back, once the communication gets sorted out he will
be a rock. Very coolhead on him, makes centre forwards show their
hand and not at all bad in the air.
As an aside, I was sat behind Bobby & the bench. All the lads on the
sidelines were over the moon with the goals even though Bellamy
called Bobby an f***ing bitch (strange choice of word) when Bobby was
telling him to stay on his feet after Bellamy was fouled for th
eumteenth time. Bobby ensured Bellemy gave a bit of gamesmanship as
he came off, told him to slow down and limp a bit which had both
Bobby & the welsh version of Plug (out of the Beano) in hysterics.
-- Anonymous, December 23, 2001