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1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.

2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.

3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.

4. Everyone is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.

5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving-call 1-800-***-."

6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting-practice.

7. You're convinced there's a God and he's male.

8. You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super Plus.

9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy. 10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.


10. Cats' facial expressions.

9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.

8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.

7. Fat clothes.

6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.

5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.

4. Cutting your bangs to make them grow.

3. Eyelash curlers.

2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made. AND, the Number One thing only women understand: 1. OTHER WOMEN

-- Anonymous, December 20, 2001


Ya know, I'm one of those weird ones. I don't understand other women. Men I understand, women I have no idea. I think it might be a cultural thing, lol!

-- Anonymous, December 21, 2001

No one understands me. Including me!

truly a mystery.

-- Anonymous, December 21, 2001

A main difference between men and women, as far as I can tell, is that women love to talk about relationships and men, if they are like me, do not.

Picture me driving on a long trip, with my Mother and SO in the back seat. They get into one of these relationship discussions, and I cannot escape! SO holds up her end pretty well, but it's my Mother who really goes wild, plumbing ever more detailed levels of question and speculation.

Mother, none of us cares at all about any of these people!

Mother, I can see you in the rear view mirror, so you can see me. Maybe if I make a bit of a face...(didn't work).

OH NO. Mother, you were already at the quark level, with your damn penetrating questions!

-- Anonymous, December 21, 2001

But I don't like dissecting relationships! You see?

-- Anonymous, December 21, 2001

Peter makes a face at his mother and she probably thought he realized he was lost. LOL

With two backseat drivers, who wouldn't be?

yuk yuk yuk

-- Anonymous, December 21, 2001

Used to be I didn't know how to get relationship-dissecting women friends off the phone. Then I learned this tip: you say, what are you going to do about it? I'm not talking about the once in a while angst call, I'm talking about those women who go on and on for weeks, months, even years maybe, same old, same old. I don't have time for that crap. If it ain't broke, don't take it apart and then try to fix it; if it's broke, it's probably not fixable anyway. C'est la vie, ya know?

This is why I don't have too many close friends, lolololol!

-- Anonymous, December 21, 2001

You and me both, OG! I haven't time or interest for "gossip" of the "Oh, seeing seeing X, who is married, and blah, blah, blah." Now if it's gossip about what coming down the pipe in regards to national security or local security threats, I'm all ears.

My women friends are generally in engineering and technical writing. . . .

-- Anonymous, December 21, 2001

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