Read the match report below taken from 'our' official site and try telling me it was written by someone who gives a flying fig for NUFC.

ARSENAL 1 - 3 NEWCASTLE Well, they have won in London, but Bobby Robson's United can thank referee Graham Poll for playing his part in this fiery Premiership encounter. Poll reduced both sides to ten men and awarded the visitors a penalty five minutes from time despite Sol Campbell appearing to tackle the ball cleanly from Laurent Robert. That decision allowed Alan Shearer to rifle home from the spot and put Newcastle ahead before Robert rounded proceedings off with a clinical strike in injury time.

By the final whistle, the Newcastle fans tucked in the corner of Highbury were taunting the home supporters with "You'll never win in London", an ironic reference to Newcastle finally ending their capital jinx at the 30th time of asking.

Yet at half-time it all looked so different. In the opening period, Arsenal were dominant but the reason it took the Gunners 20 minutes to score was because of their own wasteful finishing rather than Newcastle's defending.

Kanu had wasted two excellent chances - the second an open goal on 15 minutes - before Robert Pires side-footed home from eight yards following some enterprising play by his French compatriot Thierry Henry.

With his back to goal, Henry juggled the ball before hooking the cross over his shoulder - but the ball eluded everyone except Ashley Cole - who was on hand to cross back for Pires to finish neatly.

Encouraged by their breakthrough, the home side continued to push forward as Newcastle struggled to contain the Londoners. Then, in the 43rd minute, referee Poll made his first mark on the game, sending off Ray Parlour for a second bookable offence.

Within 15 minutes of the restart, Newcastle were level. Lomana LuaLua, on for the subdued Nolberto Solano, floated a corner straight into the unmarked head of Andy O'Brien, who planted a firm header straight past Arsenal 'keeper Stuart Taylor.

Twelve minutes later, Craig Bellamy followed Parlour down the tunnel although the former Norwich-man can consider himself unlucky.

As he turned to win the ball, a flailing arm caught Ashley Cole, who tumbled to the floor. To the disbelief of the away supporters, Poll produced a straight red card and both sides were down to ten men.

Arsenal then pushed forward in search of a late winner but were hit twice on the counter attack in the closing moments, as Newcastle's impressive defence held firm.

On the final whistle, Henry had to be restrained by two policemen as he hurled abuse at Poll - the striker incensed at the referee's performance.

Bobby Robson won't care though - his side are now top of the Premiership.

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2001

Answers

That's the last straw as far as I'm concerned with that shower o'sh*te.

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2001

First line says it all: " Well, they have won.." not WE!

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2001

Hadn't even bothered reading their report, which was up almost immediately after the match last night. Just went to the site this morning looking for some nice headlines, photos, comments from YBR and our players and found......nothing. Is it really so difficult??!!

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2001

I'll come clean... for 3 weeks i've been trying everything to get the job of doing this site. i want that job. they have asked for my cv, i've talked on the phone and more, its even gone as far as shepherd, but until ntl are sorted out expect nothing. but i'm onto it daily i want that job badly. then none of this disgrace would ever happen again, in fact my plans for a new .co.uk are growing daily, with a little help it could be amazing. aoplogies for not saying before, but it has been dificult, clarky and mac knew but it was best to keep quiet, when i hear more i will divulge.

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2001

Figured that's why you were digging around for opinions a week or so ago. ;-) All the best wishes and vibes etc for you. They won't find a better candidate. Hope you get it!!

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2001

hope you get the job!

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2001

Fingers crossed for you bonny lad.

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2001

Good luck ....hope you get it !

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2001

The above report is worthy of no other comment than saying it's about bloody time this entire charade was totally replaced and run by people who really care about the Club we all love.

God I hope you are successful swift - please let me know who you think I could write to, plus an outline of what you feel I could say that might just make a difference. I'm more than happy to write to FS, if you feel that would help.

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2001

How's about Uri Geller ?

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2001

The Swift site would be good. The most intriguing feature would be a small icon of a taxi-cab with the text "Latest transfer rumours".

Good luck Swift - to be honest I don't think they could do much better than simply buy up the .com site and leave it pretty much as is.

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2001

Excellent suggest re the taxi, Jonno! You're on fine form today, can't imagine why. ;-D

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2001

I think NUFC.COM sail a little too close to the breeze for a plc company, they'd need a team of solicitors in the wings to proof snippets b4 they went public. I would be excited about swift running the site; with topics including "What the Taxi driver says" it would be riveting.

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2001

sarcastic buggers. clarky, a well written letter to Shepherd would do it.

btw, Jonno - there is a picture of Uri Geller with John Mcririck on .com and i had to take a double take, i thought it was Uri Geller with Jonno! :-)

I think a swift .co.uk would be professional and would steer a bit clear of innuendo and having a bit of cheeky fun.

i have a very basic clue of what i would do, here...

*COMPLETE ARCHITECTURE REDESIGN AND GRAPHIC REDESIGN - Simpler and fast loading. *NEWS - As it happens lowdown based on club facts. *MATCH REPORTS - text updates, better connection to windows/real player - photos of pre match build up - atmosphere, fans opinions, manager interview, player interview - thorough opposition report, photos of warm up, interviews if possible, photos *TRAINING REPORTS - photos of training, progress reports, interviews, fan interviews at each session- *MATCH PREVIEWS - full lowdown report, manager interview, captain interview, chairman interview, fans viewpoint *RESERVE MATCH REPORTS - photos, report, team news reserve player features *UNDER 19's and UNDER 17's REPORTS - match reports, weekly coaches interview, continuous player reports and profiles - photos *TICKET NEWS - INFORMATION AND PURCHASE - up to the minute information, clear system of purchase, quick response *REVIEW SHOP - overhaul of images and look - improve purchase system *SMS INFORMATION SERVICE - up to the minute news to your mobile *STATS - anorak special, in depth stats (i went a bit soft here) *HISTORY - add to history, with players memories, anecdotes etc, fans memories, photos *EX PATS - full database of expats names, criminal numbers, photos, e-mails, *PERSONAL PAGES - space for personal information, photos, text etc, *FANS FORUM - the most popular, place to discuss the latest news, matches etc, password protected

AND MORE...

-- Anonymous, December 20, 2001

Well you get my vote Swift........if there is anything that we on here can do to tip the balance, let us know. (:o)

-- Anonymous, December 20, 2001

cheers roz, a well drafted letter to Shepherd and ntl would help.

-- Anonymous, December 20, 2001

Could you mail me the necessary addresses please. Oh, and your proper name would help too....can`t just call you Swift can I?(:o)

-- Anonymous, December 20, 2001

So what architecture are you gonna base it on then? Sorry man i think we need a professional outfit running this, not a one man band....

-- Anonymous, December 20, 2001

roz, better to not mention me, simply state why you think .co.uk is failing you, that should do the trick.

as i see it gav ptv have the contract all sewn up so i guess IF there was a job it would be with them, as for architecture i would speak to an expert, but just where do i find one matey? :-)

-- Anonymous, December 20, 2001

OK Swift....I can do that! (:o)

-- Anonymous, December 20, 2001

also haven't most pro outfits gone bust?

-- Anonymous, December 20, 2001

If this were to come off Ol then if I were you I'd get in writing what sort of access to manager, directors, players, coaching staff etc you would be guaranteed and how often. It might get a bit tricky if you're forced to run an interview with the catering suppliers to the directors box for the third week in a row !!

Best of luck marra :)

-- Anonymous, December 20, 2001

I'll do the photos for you!

-- Anonymous, December 20, 2001

Wow! Great plans, Swift! LT makes an excellent suggestion about access to players and coaching staff. Probably wise to get in writing guarantees about news access, etc as well. And do I see a job with Softie's name written all over it...Resorves reports and Softie's Sad Statto Section? ;-)

-- Anonymous, December 20, 2001

Can I supply the videos? Mind I'll have to start charging though!

-- Anonymous, December 20, 2001

swift - what is fundamentally required is timely and real information, as distinct from Club-speke and sound-bites that are targeted at pushing a specific message. That is propoganda, and entirely consistent with the input from PR Agencies - this is absolutely not real communication. The stuff we get from Laurent Robert's web-site is a good example of real information.

The Club presently hides behind the mystique of 'plc confidentiality' and releases information on a 'need to know' basis - much like political parties.

Having direct experience of running a plc myself I can tell you categorically that one that seeks to reach out its stakeholders - in this case it's fans/customers, shareholders, employees, the newcastle public etc, etc - involve them meaningfully in the Club, and fully recognises the importance of taking them deadly seriously, will come to the inescapable conclusion that there is actually very, very little that cannot be openly communicated.

-- Anonymous, December 20, 2001