Toon News

Uri did it for the Toon Dec 19 2001   Uri Geller has claimed credit for breaking Newcastle United's London hoodoo and sending the Toon army to the top of the Premiership.

The spoon bender put his powers to work to banish the curse of 29 matches without a win in the capital.

As Bobby Robson's heroes began their fightback in the 3-1 thriller Uri was running around Arsenal's Highbury stadium willing United to victory.

Uri claimed to have a hand in the sending off of Arsenal's Ray Parlour and helped Alan Shearer bend the ball to slot home a penalty.

Even shell-shocked Arsenal boss Arsen Wenger said he felt like "there was a sorcerer at work" on the pitch on Monday night.

Uri, who succeeded where exorcists and voodoo witchdoctors had failed before him, said: "I put my heart into this. It was incredible."

The 54-year-old paranormalist added: "I knew the team would win. I am so happy for everyone who supports them. It was exactly what I said."

Newcastle's first win in London since November 1997 came after an amazing match which saw two players sent off, a panalty and outrageous aftermath scenes as Arsenal striker Thierry Henry went mad at referee Graham Poll.

For 30 minutes it looked like Newcastle could be heading for match number 30 without a win after the Magpies went one goal down.

But Mr Geller explained why the first half had been so torrid, saying: "I arrived late and had no ticket. But the moment I got out of the car and touched the Highbury stadium, the Arsenal player Ray Parlour was sent off.

"When we approached I had the scarf, the football and the shirt and I have the feeling Newcastle people are open minded and that they would go along with my instructions to look at the picture of me in the Evening Chronicle.

"I started screaming and shouting for Newcastle to win. And soon after the start of the second half I said to my friend that Shearer would score from a penalty.

"That was half an hour before it happened. But I knew it. I knew the team would win. I am so happy for everyone who supports them. It was exactly what I said.

"While Newcastle were scoring their winning goals I was running round the outside of the ground 11 times to lift the hoodoo.

"I even predicted the 3-1 scoreline after I got o the ground. I sat in the car and listened to the game on the radio. And after Arsenal scored I decided it was time to act.

"There was a lot to do with the number 11. Newcastle had not win in 29 games and two plus nine is 11. Number 11 is very mystical and powerful. So I ran around the ground 11 times. Ther facts speak for themselves."

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2001

Answers

Auger and Prophet

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2001

Nah, just a c**t.

"Newcastle had not win in 29 games and two plus nine is 11. etc"

So how come we didn't win on game 11 then?

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2001

So you guys reckon we won on merit, eh ? A likely story. :-))

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2001

If those quotes are for real then the guy's a complete loon.

Not that there's anything wrong with that like

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2001

yesterday was the eighteenth, add 1 to 8 and you get 9, add 2 and you get 11, 2 being our margin of victory, wow

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2001

Now Wenger even thinks there was a force beyond our ken at work last night:

From Gruniad web site

Wenger said: "I cannot believe we lost like that. There was a mage [sorcerer] at work out there. My players were frustrated and I can understand that but why do you want to speak about what happened after the game? You should just say what happened in it. If Henry is charged with anything I will stand up for him."

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2001

Then you deserve to fall with him as well. A staggering lack of integrity.

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2001

Personally I thought it was my lucky mushroom cup-a-soup that was somehow in my back pocket. Batchelors Thick and Creamy

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2001

I couldn't eat soup. All my spoons are mysteriously bent.

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2001

Sarah Michelle Geller?

She's a lass of many powers.

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2001

Shall we have him run around White Hart lane and get Poyet sent off next time we're down there? ;-)

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2001

We'l have him run around every ground when we play, why don't we sign him? He could run around Marcelino and make his finger better while he's at it.

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2001

Steady on Paul! He might be able to get us our first London win in ages but you can't expect miracles from the guy. :-)

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2001

So he can't help us win at Wembley, then?

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2001

So he can't help us win at Wembley, then? ;-)

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2001

Who needs mind-benders when we've got you lot! ;0{]

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2001