1. What was the result of your MRI?

I was told that I had a small rip in the muscle but to make sure, I went to Paris to have the examination done again (obviously has faith in English medical standards). They said the muscle is slightly torn and bruised. I had a bit of treatment and we'll see hat happens in training......one thing is sure, I'll be playing against Blackburn Rovers on Saturday. I may not last the full 90 but I'll defintely be able to play.

2. But don't you risk making the injury worse?

You need to be careful with these injuries but you also need to work hard as well. Running is fine, it's striking that has been difficult so we'll see what happens: it should be OK.

3. Newcastle got knocked out of the Worthington by a single goal at the very end of the game. Did you see the performance?

I saw the end as I was just coming back from Paris. When you get to injury time and lose out, it really p*sses you off. I don't know what the performance was like but w'll talk about it in training.

4. Liverpool drwaing with Fulham was a good result for you?

Totally, they are now 6 points ahead of us with a game in hand like we have.

5. You next play Blackburn at home. With your next games being Leeds and Arsenal away, you just can't lose this match?

Absolutely, with the rogramme for next week, we have to get three points. If we get two or three points from next week, everything will be OK.

6. Have you heard anything about the De La Penad rumours?

Yes but I don't know what's happening. It couldn't do any harm to sign him. Certain positions need reinforcing but it's not me who makes the decisions.

-- Anonymous, December 13, 2001

Answers

You passed a IRM Monday to know some more concerning your pain to the top of the buttock. Which is the result? They m.ont says that j.avais a small tear but to have the c.ur Net of it, I came on Paris to yesterday remake me to examine. In the final analysis, j.ai a muscle which is a little ruffled. J.ai thus made of the care above and I will see what that gives to l.entraînement. There, I am in the car, it is 11 hours and I will not be long in arriving. J.ai just envisaged to make a jogging. A thing is sure, I will be present for the match of Saturday vis-a-vis at Blackburn Rovers. I surely will not remain on the ground 90 minutes but at least, I will be able to play. But it n.y does not have a d.aggraver risk this wound which is in addition to the left side? Already, so that the muscle is disentangled, is needed that I do many care, d.étirements. To run, that does not pose problems to me. On the other hand, c.est on strike where I must test myself. One will see well but normally, that should go. Newscatle s.est makes eliminate yesterday out of Cut from the League by Chesea 1-0 by boxing a goal in the stops of play. Did you follow the meeting? J.ai right considering the end because I returned from Paris. When j.ai lit the tele one, c.est there that Newcastle took the goal. When one is in quarterfinal, qu.on holds a null match and qu.on is caught a goal in the stops of play, that fout really the balls. Afterwards, I do not know at all how Newcastle played. One will speak again about it to l.entraînement. Liverppol played yesterday a late match vis-a-vis in Fulham and Reds n.ont taken qu.un not on their premises (0-0). C.est a result which arranges you. Completely, c.est a very good operation for us. Now, they have six points d.avance and like us, they have still a late match to play. You receive Blackburn Saturday before you move in Arsenal and Leeds. This time, you do not n.avez the right to l.error in residence. The three points are essential. Completely, c.est a very significant match. For the program which awaits us the next week (Arsenal in middle of week then Leeds saturdays), it is absolutely necessary to gain. If in more one can take two, even three points the next week, that would be perfect. One spoke about Pena in Newcastle. Did you have echoes? Indeed, there are certain rumours. Afterwards, I do not know if that will be done. If Newcastle recruits, that can be not badly. One can reinforce certain stations but this n.est not me which makes the decisions, c.est the Manager and the leaders. I wish you a good weekend. Hello.

-- Anonymous, December 13, 2001

Ps. Are these interviews still of interest?

-- Anonymous, December 13, 2001

I love 'em Dougal - please don't stop!

-- Anonymous, December 13, 2001

The proper translation is still interesting, you shouldn't have nicked Dans bit though....that's just not nice....

-- Anonymous, December 13, 2001

No they're great Dougal - keep posting.

-- Anonymous, December 13, 2001

Actually, Gav, there's only been one funny one: the one where he smelled himself.

-- Anonymous, December 13, 2001

PS. Nicked Dan's bit?? Sorry, I'll stick to the brainache bit of actually translating and let someone else run it through Babelfish.

-- Anonymous, December 13, 2001

Is there any chance we could get Arthur Bostrom (the policeman out of Allo Allo) to read out the translation?

Good moaning...

-- Anonymous, December 13, 2001

I love it Dougal, please keep 'em coming. :-)

Now, what bothers me about him continuing to play with this injury is that he says it only bothers him when striking the ball. So he can run all day, but can't kick the ball? So what use is that? Am I missing something here?

-- Anonymous, December 13, 2001

No, you aren't Ciara: we may as well play Bernard if running is his only current asset.

-- Anonymous, December 13, 2001

They are essential reading dougal - the proper translation that is, the other thing ceased to be funny a long time ago.

This is the closest we get to real communication from within the Club we all love, and your efforts are greatly appreciated.

-- Anonymous, December 13, 2001

ps: if he has a torn muscle in his hip we would have to be stark staring bonkers to play a £10 million asset on Saturday.

For that reason he'll be a banker in my side for the Team Pick Comp!!

-- Anonymous, December 13, 2001

Definitely of interest, Dougal. Please keep 'em coming.

-- Anonymous, December 13, 2001

PS. The only reason I asked was because I don't want to bore you all t*tless! What worries me is that the only news we get is off these interviews: even the local papers quote them!

-- Anonymous, December 14, 2001

Absolutely 100% of interest Dougal. I know it takes time and effort but its really appreciated. A fascinating insight and required reading.

-- Anonymous, December 14, 2001

....rather fortuitously I'm already t*tless, so keep 'em coming dougal - they're excellent.

-- Anonymous, December 14, 2001

Strange Clarky I always imagine you sitting at your PC tutting madly

-- Anonymous, December 14, 2001

..... you implying I'm a miserable auld git, by any chance? ;0{I

-- Anonymous, December 14, 2001