Some of these actually brought tears to my eyes...

Top Ten Signs Your Wife Is Having An Affair With The Jolly Green Giant

10. You find a love letter addressed to "My ho ho ho..."

9. Bottle of shampoo in shower which reads "For Oily, Green Hair"

8. Complains to marriage counselor you're not "jolly," "green," or "giant"

7. Secret admirer keeps leaving crates of frozen peas on your lawn

6. Her lingerie reeks of creamed spinach

5. In newest commercials, the Jolly Green Giant is wearing your bathrobe

4. The way she gazes longingly at a spear of asparagus

3. Your last two kids have been green

2. You've never seen anyone eat corn on the cob that way

1. She makes disparaging remarks about your "niblets"

-- Eve (eve_rebekah@yahoo.com), December 10, 2001

Answers

LOL. Eve, should a guy be concerned about a jolly green giantess?

Shame on you for not attributing the list to World Wide Pants.

-- (lars@indy.net), December 10, 2001.

Should a wife be concerned about a jolly green giantess?

-- (lars@indy.net), December 10, 2001.