Clownin' Aroundgreenspun.com : LUSENET : Shitclown : One Thread
Feel free to ask anything you like about the clowning life!
-- Larry! (firstname.lastname@example.org), December 02, 2001
Do you ever feel like in the day that it was the way that I thought it was to be, that the horror and macabre would fall upon myself and I would find myself dreaming and thinking of the horror that would be unimaginable?
Do you wear a shroud?
Do you ever find that you see yourself in the dream that is the reality that you are in a cemetery surrounded by ancient gravestones and the feelings of horror are such that the mind is altered into a state of death and that it would be the thing that is written about but not spoken about and that it would be the the greatest horror that one imagines?
-- The Count (email@example.com), December 02, 2001.
Well hey there, Count! Glad to help you out here, or at least try.
Let's start with the easiest question first, shall we? No, I do not wear a shroud. If I wore a shroud, how would anyone be able to tell that I'm a clown? How can I entertain the masses if I'm in hiding?
Now as for your other questions, I'm not sure I'm the best person you could come to with them. I take it you're some kind of nocturnal sissy goth. Maybe what you need to get rid of those dreams is some heavy drinking, instead of just licking the outside of the Stoli vanil bottles.
-- Larry! (firstname.lastname@example.org), December 02, 2001.
Why are clowns so scary? I mean, they're all freaky looking with the big red mouth and the pale creepy skin, and they're all up in your face all the time. Why? WHY??
-- JulieK (email@example.com), December 03, 2001.
Oh sweet, sweet Julie. Clowns are not scary, no no!
John Wayne Gacy sure did stir the pot for us, though. Not all of us are homocidal or pedophiles. Heh, you want to hear something funny? Sure you do! I used to think a pedophile was a person with a foot fetish. A shoe sniffer! So I was really surprised when I was in a bar and told a broad that I liked to take a whiff of her Payless pumps every now and then. "Heh. I'm a pedophile from way back!" I told her, and she called the cops on me. Man. You really have to watch what you say, even when the Latin root words have you assume you're safe. Dictionarys: friends to Larry Hawell and You!
But back to the scary clown issue: Some clowns don't understand their clown boundaries. You get some untrained circus yahoo running up the bleachers with a squirting sunflower, and you'll have one heck of a commotion! I beg all parents to please only take their children to clown performances by professionally trained clowns. The experience will be five times more pleasant, I guaran-fucking-tee you!
-- Larry! (firstname.lastname@example.org), December 03, 2001.
Aww.. you really think I'm sweet?
-- JulieK (email@example.com), December 04, 2001.
Do you ever wear your red rubber nose on the tip of your penis?
-- acolyte (firstname.lastname@example.org), December 06, 2001.
Do you paint your Shitclown Jr.? I mean, is he white and all colorful, too? Is HIS hair a fabulous fluorecent color as well?
-- Erin (email@example.com), December 10, 2001.