Can I breastfeed your child?

-- Larry! (shitclown@shitclown.com), December 02, 2001

Answers

I would say that you could breastfeed the man-baby, but only if your milk isn't milk but rather bourbon.

-- Jared (jared@htbt.org), December 02, 2001.

No, you cannot breastfeed my child, but male nipples ARE useful! Not only are they useful as an erogenous zone, but they also poke against your silk shirt when you're cold and create a nice vapor layer between your chest hair and your shirt. And everyone knows warm air is warmer than silk.

Um. I am not sure if that made sense.

But I ask you? If you're going to have man boobs, then why the heck not have nipples?

-- no! (iloveshitclowns@plaidpjs.com), December 02, 2001.

Dear Jared,

I think you will find, if you do a little research, that my Dad didn't design men to have babies--not even man-babies.

So there.

Love,

Jesus

-- Christ Almighty (jesus@diary-x.com), December 02, 2001.

You make a lot of sense there, Miss No! I'd just like to help women who don't want to go through all of that breastfeeding themselves. A clown wet nurse, if you will.

-- Larry! (shitclown@shitclown.com), December 02, 2001.

Jesus: Can you ask him why he gave me such lovely pink nipples if he did not want children to suckle from them?

-- Larry! (shitclown@shitclown.com), December 02, 2001.

Dear Larry:

Your question is a good one. You must understand that, while in the womb, the cells that become a man's vestigial nipples are the same cells that become a woman's live-giving ones.

Unfortunately, the male does not have the milk reservoirs that a women's X chromosome will cause her to develop. So, Larry, you cannot breast-feed because you do not lactate.

I recommend you get more info about this at my Q&A about BreastFeeding. Many more of your questions can be answered.

till then, Happy Fucking!

Dr. Ruth

-- Dr. Ruth Westheimer (DrRuthMail@aol.com), December 03, 2001.

Oh, but I *do* lactate! I went to a little town called Trinidad, Colorado, and got hooked up with milk ducts and meds to start lactattion. it's not that I *can't*, it's more that I *may not*.

-- Larry! (shitclown@shitclown.com), December 03, 2001.

Men CAN breastfeed!!! Historically, male lactation was noted by the German explorer Alexander Freiherr von Humboldt prior to 1859, who wrote of a 32-year- old man who breastfed his child for five months. It was also observed in a 55-year-old Baltimore man who had been the wetnurse of the children of his mistress.

For more on this go here->http://unassistedchildbirth.com/milkmen.htm

-- Paul Kaboom (aquaman@softhome.net), January 23, 2002.