Some people go with "Always and Forever," some go for "Unchained Melody," and too many inexplicably pick "I Will Always Love You," (that song is about leaving someone you care about, not marrying them.)

What are y'all's picks for a wedding reception first dance?

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2001

Answers

Friends who got married in August used Etta James' "At Last" which both thrilled and annoyed me because it's the song I want to use, dammit.

I just can't think of a more perfect song.

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2001

C and I have been discussing what our first song should be for a while, now. I've always been a fan of "That's How Strong My Love Is," by Otis Redding, but C's not wild about it. We discussed "You Are My Sunshine" - in addition to being the Louisiana's State Song, it's the first song I ever remember hearing - but then we heard the full version, including the verse about how if the girl ever leaves him, she'll regret it, so we nixed that idea. Our latest pick is "If I Needed You," by Townes Van Zandt.

Still, I'm at a loss. A cousin suggested "Heaven Must Have Sent You From Above," which I like, but I don't think it suits us.

Any suggestions or favorites? How about those first father/mother dances? Do people still actually play that "Butterfly Kisses" song?

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2001

First dance, who knows? But the one song I want played at my wedding (whenever that is) is 10,000 Maniacs' "These Are Days" as background music when the bridal party is introduced. A friend of a friend did that, and I really liked the effect.

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2001

Y'all. TheKnot.com and their song suggestion lists. So sad. I've never seen Peabo Bryson's name used so many times in one list in my life.

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2001

Hannah, my friends used "At Last," too. So pretty.

"If I Needed You" is a good one. I'd cry. And cry.

I was thinking I'd like some early Beatles, even. Maybe not something as slow as usual, you know?

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2001

If we weren't eloping, our first dance would be to "You're My Best Friend" by Queen. Because that's our song.

Since we are probably eloping to Graceland, our first dance might be to "Love Me Tender", which will make me laugh and laugh.

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2001

I would say Somebody by Depeche Mode, but then they have to go and sing the word "perverted", so it's prolly not good.

Also in the prolly not good category is It Had to Be You. With Harry Connick's version and a bit of a tap dance routine from the bride and groom, it's a big hit, but it's not exactly romantic in that sense.

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2001

"In My Life" by the Beatles.

And yes, T, you do have my permission to use this, the best song, EVAH as your first dance. ;)

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2001

I love All the Way, by Frank Sinatra:
When somebody loves you
It's no good unless he loves you - all the way
Happy to be near you
When you need someone to cheer you - all the way

Taller than the tallest tree is
That's how it's got to feel
Deeper than the deep blue see is
That's how deep it goes - if its real

When somebody needs you
It's no good unless he needs you - all the way
Through the good or lean years
And for all the in between years - come what may

Who know where the road will lead us
Only a fool would say
But if you'll let me love you
It's for sure I'm gonna love you - all the way, all the way


-- Anonymous, November 29, 2001

Hannahs, don't hate me, but I gotta be honest -
I love Etta James. In a fundamental way. But "At Last" is already done done done in my mind. I have seen it at four weddings in the last year. Four. Thank you, "American Pie," for bringing it to the public conscious.

Of course, if it has some particular meaning for you and The Guy, that's different. Of course.

For me, the key factor will be what The Boy can dance best to. So we don't look like fools out there. Ideally, he'll be able to swing, then it could be "We Are in Love" by Harry Connick, Jr. If he has a sense of humor, I might consider "All of Me" - any version, Willie or Ella Fitzgerald or Frank. If he can only two-step (perish the thought), then I will have to think about Clint Black's "Like the Rain:"

I never liked the rain until I walked through it with you
Every thunder cloud that came was one more I might not get through
On the darkest day there's always light and now I see it too
But I never liked the rain until I walked through it with you

The second factor will be whether we have a band or DJ, and what the band can play. I'm leaning toward DJ because I am a micro-manager in re: party music.

My "father/daughter" dance will be with my brother, and we will be dancing to Robert Earl Keen's "I'll Be Here For You:"

Good times come and then they go
The rain will fall, the wind will blow
Through it all you gotta know
I'll do what I can do
To protect you right or wrong
Heal the hurt 'til the hurt is gone
I'll be right where I belong
I'll be here for you"


-- Anonymous, November 30, 2001

My first dance was to "I Only Have Eyes for You" by the Flamingos. It had been my choice since I was 12 years old and used to listen to my sister's oldies. Still, to this day, I love that song and have no regrets .

As for father/daughter, Bette's "Wind Beneath My Wings" is always good, but my personal favorite is James Taylor's "You've Got a Friend" because Daddy's should always come runnin' when his daughter needs a friend.

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2001

Our first dance was to Sinead O'Connor's cover of "My Secret Love" (or possibly just called Secret Love). And the inscription inside our rings is MY SECRET LOVE. (Apparently engravers only shout.) Because it had special meaning to us as rog had loved me from afar for many years with me none the wiser.

It was almost "It Had to Be You." Love that.

The father/daughter dance I went cliche so that my mother wouldn't force that damn Butterfly Kisses song. Damn, I'm blanking. What was that song Natalie Cole did as a "duet" with her father? Thats what we used.

We didn't do an "introduce the wedding party" song because, well, our wedding party was four people, there were 40 at our wedding, everyone already knew everyone pretty much. But we did play something cool for our enterance to the reception - the theme from Star Wars (Episode 4) that plays when Luke et al approach the throne for their medals.

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2001

We did "Fly Me to the Moon." We had a 6-piece band with vocalist and they did a good job except for their 30-minute rendition of "Route 66" during dinner. Yes, that's SO romantic. Dorks.

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2001

PG - Which is why I would never use it. (Sadly enough.) But I still think it's the perfect song. Unless, you're like 21 and marrying your high school sweetheart, ( "At last/ my love has come along/ My lonely days are over/ And life has become a song"). I don't think that it would really be appropriate for a couple like that. But I do love it so.

Too bad T has to poo poo on Van Morrison.

At the wedding of my first childhood friend, two years ago, she danced with each of her 3 older brothers and picked songs symbolic of her relationship with each of them. Needless to say I sat by the dance floor and sobbed like a baby because damn have all of those boys had trying times. But it was really a very beautiful thing.

I will probably pick "Daddy's Little Girl" for the father/daughter dance, even though it's cliched, because 1. I am and 2. my grandmother used to sing it to me allll the time and in a weird way the song actually reminds me of her.

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2001

Tough one. At her wedding a few weeks ago, my friend danced to "True Companion" by Marc Cohn. Great song about meeting, how he knew right away he wanted to marry her, their wedding day, and then growing old together. While I admit that the growing old together stuff can be kind of a downer, the song is great and really fun to dance to.

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2001

We've just about decided to go with "If I Needed You":

If I needed you
would you come to me,
would you come to me,
and ease my pain?

If you needed me
I would come to you
I'd swim the seas
for to ease your pain

In the night forlorn
the morning's born
and the morning shines
with the lights of love

You will miss sunrise
if you close your eyes
that would break
my heart in two

The lady's with me now
since I showed her how
to lay her lily
hand in mine

Loop and Lil agree
she's a sight to see
and a treasure for
the poor to find

We just really like that song, and it makes us feel all warm when we listen to it.

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2001

Oooh, Tupelo Honey would be a good one. N and I actually did dance our first dance together to that song.

What about REM At My Most Beautiful?

I think that "Thank You", by either Zeppelin or the Tori Amos version, would be perfect and beautiful.

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2001

All warm is a good sign.

It's hard for me to say, really, what I would choose, not having any groom in mind. But I agree that the most important thing is that it be a song that means something to you both.

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2001

Can people outside your secret club comment as well? (She asked and commented just the same) Aidan: I love that song.If I'd ever get married again,(not very likely),and if I'd learn to dance,(highly,highly unlikely) It will be either 'Fly me to the moon' or 'Come fly with me',although the FatBoySlim 'Gangster Tripping' has more ...eh,tempo.

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2001

Secret club? Wha?

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2001

My first post evah! (See how popular wedding-related topics are? So, so girly.)

My fiance and I are leaning towards either "You and I" or "For Once In My Life", both by Stevie Wonder. I love Townes, but Stevie was an important part of our courtship.

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2001

If there is a secret club, can some one please secretly let me join? And if there's not a secret club, I'll be starting one this afternoon.

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2001

Me and my big mouth .

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2001

Well, this is probably no surprise to anybody who reads my journal, but if (when?) Geoff and I get married, I think our song will have to be "The Luckiest," by Ben Folds.

The lyrics, the mp3, and the sappy entry to go along with it, are here: http://jessamyn.diary-x.com/journal.cgi?entry=20011010.

It is such a sweet song, and no matter how often I hear it? It still makes me cry.

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2001

When I marry Ben Folds, he's singing that.

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2001

Can you have him sing that "Rockin' the Suburbs" son as well? Because that cracks me up.

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2001

"song", stead "son."

Also, I think technically it's a cabal, rather than a club. But that's just semantics.

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2001

I love me some Tupelo Honey. But, I don't think for me that Van would be a logical wedding song choice. I gots to dance, baybee!

Precious: my friend Laney danced with her daddy to "Little Miss Magic," which was so them. In fact, she hired her band based on their commitment to learning that song.

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2001

Mike, I'm sorry but there is no cabal.

http://www.cabal.org/

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2001

There is an explanation for the website of the cabal (but of course, there is no cabal). If you care, email me and I'll explain it.

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2001

Clearly we don't share our secret cabal information with the cabal.org people. They're too untrustworthy.

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2001

The Smoker doesn't dance, but if I got him on the floor, it would be to David Gray's "Sail Away." I've played it for him and he understands why.

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2001

Mike, you don't know the half of it. And they are all beerpong crazy.

Plus, they get naked as a group every Friday night. Well, sort of.

They do, however, make a hell of a compilation cd.

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2001