KITTY STORY- Omar, the Afghani lion

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"Omar the Afghani Lion' would be million-seller

JOE SOUCHERAY Pioneer Press Columnist

As a fellow who more often than not ends up giving away his million-dollar ideas, I am going to give away another one right now. Maybe somebody can run with this one in time for Christmas.

Somebody should write a best-selling children's book about Omar the Afghani Lion.

If J.K. Rowling can make a billion dollars writing about kids at wizard school, somebody is going to come along and make Omar the Lion a household name.

I took one look at poor Omar the Lion and I thought, "This fellow has had a tough time of it, tougher even than the people of Afghanistan.''

There is a zoo in Kabul, Afghanistan. You wouldn't think that they would even have a zoo in such a war-torn, impoverished city, but they have a zoo, complete with a lion and a bear and what might be a house cat that they pass off as a rare feline.

It was the lion that first caught my attention. There was a picture of it in the paper the other day. This old lion (he's about 45 years old) was hit by a grenade a few years ago. The grenade was tossed by the brother of a guy that the lion ate. Yes, the lion did eat a guy and that would have to be written with diplomacy if it is going to be a kid's book. The lion thought the grenade was food and pounced on it. He is so blind now that the guy who is called the zookeeper thinks nothing of walking in on the lion and patting him on the head.

I saw the lion on TV the other night. The network news shows are starting to catch up to the zoo story and they finally had film footage of the place. It looks like maybe what a zoo looked like in the 5th century, if that isn't being unkind to the 5th century. In any event, they also showed film footage of the bear.

Children's book No. 2. Omar the Afghani Bear.

Just when you think it -couldn't get any more pathetic than a blind, 45-year-old lion who stumbles around and bumps into the wall of his cage, there is a bear who is just as beat up. The Taliban, along with their other idiosyncrasies and insanities, didn't put up with animals. The Taliban dirtbags would hit the bear on the nose with sticks. That poor bear has a nose that looks like hamburger hanging off the end of his face.

I'm beginning to understand why there aren't many travel posters for Afghanistan, not even in the Sunday New York Times, which is always finding some exciting hovel to visit. Everything in Afghanistan is in about the same shape as the zoo. Most of the cars, for example, don't have windshields.

You have to hand it to them. These are tough people. It is as though they are trying to have a real country with real things, like zoos and cars and parks, but they can't pull it off. There is no money, no leadership, no plan. Usually, there is a war.

Now, in the book about Omar the Lion all sorts of side stories can be included. For example, in response to the United States' offer of a $25 million reward for the capture of Osama bin Dirtbag, a balloon vendor was interviewed in Afghanistan. As hard as it is to imagine that they try to have a zoo, I turn myself inside out trying to imagine who would stop on the corner and buy a balloon. In any event, the 18-year-old balloon vendor pondered the $25 million and reached the conclusion that that would be enough money to buy 100 balloons.

Another kid was interviewed and he thought it would be enough money to feed his family for about 10 years.

I guess math is another thing they need to bring up to speed.

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2001

Answers

Saw this story a few days ago, and I was amazed that any animals in the zoo were still alive.

Many moons ago (1976?) I did the requisite tour of Central Europe with a friend. One of my excuses was that the itinerary (mostly hers) was wandering through prime zoo land. Like Basil and Munich and Frankfurt. Turns out there is a small zoo in Monaco. Where Jacques Cousteau is based. Where Princess Grace had been involved in all sorts of humanitarian campaigns, including IIRC animal issues. I think the zoo was the Prince's phallic sideline. I had been photo documenting all the zoos I had seen along the way, and I thought this would be a pleasant, although short, little side trip. These were the most horrendous conditions I had seen. (I did have an occasion the following year to report it to a national animal welfare group I was closely associated with at the time.) Sure reminded me of what Omar the Lion has been through.

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2001


sounds like it would be more humane to put them out of their misery.

now, guess who I meant.

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2001


That wouldn't be the Fund for Animnals, would it, Brooks?

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2001

Excuse me while I borrow Chuck's waste basket. Heavens no. (Actually, the local FFA rep was fine, but I never could tolerate Amory, especially after I saw him in action personally.)

An organization previously known as ISPA (International Society for the Protection of Animals), later changed to WFPA (World Federation for the Protection of Animals). I see it is now WSPA (World Society for the Protection of Animals).

It was originally established as a collaboration of the Royal SPCA in England and the Massachusetts SPCA. If you go to www.mspca.org and then click on "international programs", there is some info. And not surprisingly, WSPA is involved in helping out at the Kabul zoo.

I thought I would be hired by John Walsh at (then) ISPA's Boston branch after graduate school. No dice. But there is a great book about his earliest exploits - "Time is Short, and the Water Rises" - to pull the animals out of an area of South America that was about to be inundated by a newly built hydroelectric facility.

Actually, at one point the England office considered hiring me, but I couldn't fathom the relocation. I had gone to a conference they sponsored in London and helped the staff during a vacation period. James Herriott (Alf White, aka Off White) was a guest speaker, as was the guy who portrayed him on the tv series.

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2001


I had some dealings with Cleveland Amory back in the early 70s and he seemed okay then, helped us clean up a dreadful Louisiana dog pound. Never met Herriott but I do know that part of the country well--spent a good bit of time there before I started to misspend my youth ;)

I can't do animal protection work any more; I have nightmares. Btu I do help the Hungarian with her feral feeding stations and trapping for spaying and neutering. And of course I do my bit wth my own mini-cat shelter. BTW, I found out it's "Zooko" and not "Zoocho." He's doing VERY well, extremely endearing little chap and has fitted himself in faster than any of the others did. He likes to nuzzle right in an ear'ole, purring and snuffling!

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2001



LOL OG! We had a cat once that would nurse on the earlobe while purring. Was so loud, too! Suki I think it was. Siamese cat. She would wake us up now and then with that. LOL

Memories...

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2001


The Kabul zoo, like the Kabul museum, used to be a fine place, now wrecked. I remember in particular some kind of ferocious native hawk, fully capable of flying off with lambs and young goats (kids?).

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2001

When I was a kid, the St.Louis Zoo had an ancient camel with a hump that flopped from side to side. He tended to walk in a circle for some reason.

We also have a cat who sucked earlobes when she was younger. Just about all of our house-raised kittens like to sleep on my shoulder with their face buried in my ear. It's cute when they're tiny, but when they get to 15-20 pounds...

One time I woke up with two cats on my head like ear muffs, lol.

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2001


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