Just miss your news and hope you have some more. I promise to use short words...:o)

-- Anonymous, November 27, 2001

Answers

Gosh, I just realized that I haven't posted anything for a few days. I must have been taking a nap. For those of you that were saying, "Yea!". I'm sorry, I'm back.

I'm not going to talk about the pants. I will tell you that we were turned down for the loan, so that solution is out! I have gone to leaving the button undone and wearing suspenders. This does create a problem because the zipper doesn't seem to want to stay up. That's not a real problem here on the place but, when we go to Wal-Mart and it happens, it gets embarrassing. When people start staring and pointing, I know it's time to face one of the displays and zip up again. My wife said that she has no idea what they'd be staring at or why (another good man brought back to earth by his wife).

Yes, on one thread, I was intimidated a little by all of you using words that I didn't understand. I had been open with ya'll and admitted the limits of my knowledge and then, ya'll flaunted your education and vocabulary. It was kinda like the kids say, "in your face". Therefore, I pulled back a little and returned to the security of my shell. (This is me being insecure).

I think I'm finally developing a philosophy. I don't have it formulated quite yet, but it's going to have something to do with not playing with girls on the internet! 'Cause, they'll gang up on you and hurt you bad! And they're smarter than I am. And they're meaner than I am. And if you're not real, real careful, then you'll get to like them and then they can really, really hurt you bad!

Remember, short words only.

Wildman (getting over it!)

-- Anonymous, November 27, 2001

Jack you just stick around here!! I'll watch your back and you watch mine in case the women around here start roughing us up!! Also keep a little dictionary by the puter. Thats how I keep everyone from really discovering how stupid I am!!......Kirk

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2001

Great idea, Kirk! I think we're outnumbered! Funny, when I was younger, that's the way I liked it. Anymore, when I'm outnumbered, I just get real nervous and tongue-tied! How come I never saw the true "them" when I was younger? That's one of those rhetorical questions. I know the answer!

I, too, have dictionaries at the desk. In fact, I have three. One is too big to handle and the other two have such small print that I can't read them so none of them do me any good. But I sure do look smart if anyone comes in! I've solved the dictionary problem by composing my messages in Outlook Express and then letting Spell Check do my spelling for me. Sometimes the words are so far off that even Spell Check gives up. Then I just cut and paste over to the forum. But don't tell anyone.

It's nice to know that I have some backup. Now if we could just get the rest of the guys to join in maybe we'd have a chance at surviving. Well, maybe not. I've found that most of the boards that are predominately women seem to run smoother than the ones with a lot of male egos. I was on one board that was 99% women. In fact, I thought it was strictly women. I posted on one thread and asked if it was for women only and told them that if it was, I'd just slink off and not bother them. They told me to join in and then my computer crashed, lost the site and don't remember where I was! Does anyone know where I was?

Wildman (slinking off)

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2001

Well...if I remember those younger days correctly, us girls would always let the boys "think" that they were better educated :-)!! Have to say though, you guys are doin' okay!

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2001

Wildman, I can relate! I'm an absolutely confoundedly terrible speller. But I don't let it bother me too much, I figure it's just cause of my good imagination, I can just imagine Sooo many ways for a word to be spelled. The spell check gives up on me too, it can't even figure out what I am trying to spell half of the time and comes up with a completely different word, so that if I left the words that spell check comes up with, then my writing would make even less since!

I have been on some sites where I have seen people get really irate over bad spelling and I have seen that people really do judge a persons intelligence by how well they spell! Gee! It just doesn't make since to me! NO body on this forum has ever said one bad thing about anybodys spelling that I have ever seen. I know they haven't said any thing about it to me and I was posting for a good while before I got a spell check, they have picked on me about being prememophausal, about being paranoid, and about being too sensitive but they have left my spelling alone. So don't worry about it here, just be yourself.

One other thing that I have noticed since getting a spell check is that I use allot of words that the dictionary doesn't recognize as words. Well I'm not gonna take the dictionaries word for it, I know that gonna and anyhows, and ain't and allot of other words are words because I grew up hearing them all the time!

And according to spell check my name isn't even spelled right. It tells me that TRendle should be Trundle or Treadle , or that Tren should be Tern Tran or Trent.!!! So what the heck does that spell check know anyhows!!!!

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2001

I seem to remember trying to suppress my own intelligence to make a good lookin' guy feel more empowered years ago. Not anymore, baby!! My darlin' husband asked me one time when I hadn't been feeling good for a while why I was being so nice to him. He kept settin' them up and I wouldn't knock them over. He complained that I had lost my "edge" (how anyone as round as I can have edges is beyond me)and even got a couple of zingers off at my expense. Let me tell ya that doesn't happen too often because he is French and his sense of humor is questionable. So, I put some effort into it and got the zip back into my doodah. Wildman, you can't fool us with that poor dumb guy routine. We can tell that you are a smart cookie so you are fair game, darlin'! And I know you can take it! (Plus you used formulated and philosophy in one sentence!!) Glad to see you back, dearie. Keep the news coming!!

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2001

Yeah, Ali, I noticed those "educated" words that crept into Wildman's post too! You're right -- fair game! LOL!

Hey, Wildman, it wasn't 21st Renaissance was it? I was thinking that "Wildman" sounded familiar for some reason . . . . Well, anyway, that's where I hang out alot, and yes, it's 99% women, but we ALWAYS welcome fresh meat . ., er, um, I mean . . . . new members! [snicker] Y'all can come over and look and see if you want to hang out with us. Fair Warning: We're all crazy, the forum is moderated, and most moderators carry weapons -- 2x4's, cattle prods, etc.! You can find us at: http://www.21strenaissance.com/renaissance.htm -- click on Discussion Group See if you dare . . . .

Trennie, if you are using spellcheck in your Internet Explorer email, you can ADD words that you use. Try this: Open a new email document, type in all those words that it doesn't recognize -- ain't, gonna, etc. -- run the spell check, and every time it stops on a word, press the "ADD" button. This will put it into your dictionary. Of course, if you put in 'gonna' one time, it will stop on 'gona' if you try that next time! And you can get it to accept your name and it's variations the same way. Hope this helps!

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2001

Sorry Joy, that wasn't it. I really hate it too. I may drop by the other forum and lurk a little though. I got on the lost site from a post on CS or BWH and I was JackD then. I'll have to warn you though, I don't like to be beat up on. Pain isn't the way to reach me. Well, not a lot anyway.

Tren, I love Spell Check. My wifes name comes up "Sadness". I don't think so, but I may be wrong.

Marcia, do you think, maybe, that's one of those situations where I think you think that I think you're letting me think that I think I'm smarter than you?.

Alison, I can't see you giving up anything to empower a male. You've reduced me to a whimpering dictionaryphile. Hey, I can make up words if I want to. Opps, ended that one with one of those things, didn't I?

Wildman, Oh, I don't have to answer him do I?

Wildman, (just trying to get through)

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2001

Wanna run that by me again, Wildman??!!

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2001

Wildman, I was thinkin about the pants-buttoned(uncomfortable) vs the pants-unbuttoned(comfortable but socially unacceptable) conundrum. Being the smart, philosophical guy you are I'm surprised you haven't discovered the shirt-not-tucked-in solution. It really gives you the best of both worlds.

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2001

I have resorted to that myself, John..hee hee I've put on a few pounds lately and the jeans were tight at the button. My most favorite pair blew out the zipper (I swear its cuz the threads were so old and well worn!!)and I had no other clean pants and had to go grocery shopping so on went the blown out jeans and over it went the oxford shirt. Preppy yet secretly functional!! My sister in law informed me that my new fun (buying jewellery at home parties) is because fat women like to buy and wear jewellery. Isn't she sweet? God love 'er. I may try that soup diet she's on. Wildman, I actually am very sweet, funny, and nurturing. But I only have 2 consective days of "nice" in me. I discovered this fact one time my husband was sick in bed. I dragged in the TV and VCR to the bedroom and fetched and carried and waited on him lovingly but after two days I was no longer very nice about it and I do believe I rolled my eyes at him and told him to get his ass out of bed and do it himself at one point when he asked for something. So now he is careful not to use up all my nice in one shot. It ain't purty.

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2001

I learned this trick for getting a little more room in the waistband from my friend Jenny, who has "a bun in the oven". :)It's really hard to explain it in words but I'll try. Take a rubber band and thread it through the buttonhole in your jeans so that you have a loop on either side. Then take one of the loops, pinch it shut, and pass it through the other loop and pull it tight. Now you'll have a long strechy loop that you can hook over the button. Instant elastic waistband!

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2001

Oh John. We think alike! Isn't that scary? There's a little information that I forgot to give ya'll. Don't you just hate when that happens? It seems like the shirts are suffering the same problem as the pants. They seem to be shrinking too. I'm beginning to see a connection here. I always wear my shirts outside my pants. Ever since I got out of the military. They broke me of that habit. The suspenders also cause a problem, even with the shirt tails out. Guess I could wear them under the shirt. Then people would think I have on one of those sports bras! Hey, I'm man enough to weather a few stares.

Alison, do you think we could have your sister-in-law for dinner? I mean, really, have your sister-in-law for dinner? I understand the 2 day limit too. Two days is 24 hours isn't it?

Sherri, I hope this doesn't hurt your feelings, but I think I love you! Where have you been? We could have ended this thread and my embarrassment weeks ago if you'd dropped by sooner. I knew that sooner or later, someone would come up with the solution. I could even use a cord and that way they would be adjustable. Wonderful. I could eliminate the suspenders and the short shirt tails would cover the button but not the zipper but, now the zipper isn't a problem because there's something to keep the pants together so there's no strain on the it. This is great, because since we were turned down for the loan, I've been kinda depressed and it's also limited my time off the place. Had to spend a lot more time around here because I couldn't go out. Hey, I do have a little pride you know. Besides after I got caught standing over by the Barbie Doll display, zipping up your pants, I really got tired of those managers following me around. Guess I probably shouldn't have went through the lingerie department either.

I've been getting a lot of e-mails lately on how to lose ten pounds in ten days. Did any of you tell these people about my problem? Does that mean I could lose 20 pounds in 20 days? Thirty in thirty? Has anyone tried this and are you still here? What if you forget to quit taking the pills, do you just disappear?

Thanks to everyone for helping find the solution. That's a positive results of brainstorming. And if you don't think I'm going to use it, if you ever meet me, just raise the front of my shirt and look for yourself.

Wildman (ecstatically happy)

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2001

I've been getting a lot of e-mails lately on how to lose ten pounds in ten days.

Hey, at least you're not getting the "make your penis larger" e- mails. I've received so many of them lately I'm beginning to wonder if someone is trying to tell me something.

Talk about causing an inferiority complex! Sheesh! :-O

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2001

Well now then, I'd order that one.

Wildman (blushing)

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2001

All I can say is I've been lurking about and Wildman your posts are some of the most enjoyable I've ever read! I've been following this subject of the shrinking clothes and am ecstatic that you have found a solution! You all crack me up!!!!

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2001

Denise, thanks for the kind words. We are having fun, aren't we? Everyone here has gotten into the spirit and played the game well. Even though it started out as a real, serious problem.

I, for one, enjoyed the silliness and the break from more depressing thoughts; however, I'm sure there are a few on the board that would love to see threads like this disappear. To those I say, thank you for being adults (even though we weren't), for being tolerant and respectful. If we bruised anyone, hurt anyone's feelings or stepped on any toes all I can say is Opps!

Wildman (humbled by the masses)

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2001