I'm sure there's someone out there who can top this, but I wanted to share it anyhow. I had what I believe to be the nicest Thanksgiving day I can ever recall yesterday in a situation the very thought of which would make many cringe. I enjoyed a wonderful Thanksgiving at the home of my former spouse as her guest.

Our daughter and her husband were only in town for a couple of days and as time was going to be tight for them my Mom and I were invited to Thanksgiving there so as to be able to spend more time with them and with my son who's home from college for the long weekend.

While I'll openly admit to more than a little apprehension and anxiety leading up to this, things couldn't have been nicer for everyone. I only wish each and every one of you had as nice a day as I did.

-- Gary in Indiana (gk6854@aol.com), November 23, 2001

Answers

What a special day! I am glad you were all able to gather as family inspite of differences. That is something you can truly be thankful for.

-- Laura (LadybugWrangler@hotmail.com), November 23, 2001.

For several years, my husband's uncle's family celebrated Thanksgiving with the uncle's ex as well as my husband's ex and his mom who was widowed from the family many years ago.

-- Cindy (S.E.IN) (atilrthehony@countrylife.net), November 23, 2001.

Isn't that the very meaning of the holiday? I mean, family means more than just who is married to who and who "qualifies" as family -- family just IS. Gary, while you and your exwife might have had personal differences that necessitated the end of your marriage, you had a far more important thing to keep you calling each other family, even from separate houses: your daughter.

For many years after they split, my brother and sister-in-law were unable to speak without fighting. As their children grew, however, it became more and more obvious to them that they were going to have to relate on a different level. The fact that they had created a family together didn't cease with the end of their marriage. They are actually quite good friends now, recognize that they will always care for one another, but simply cannot live together.

I am so happy to hear a happy story. The news seems filled with so much anger and conflict. Thanks, Gary, for sharing such a positive experience.

-- Tracy (trimmer31@hotmail.com), November 23, 2001.

This reminds me of a friend who is the daughter of divorced parents. Her dad and stepmom are both good friends with her mom. (Her mom and stepmom go shopping together!) My friend says this makes all occasions, especially her kids' birthdays, more enjoyable because she doesn't have to worry about who to invite, who came last time, and who can't stand being in the same room with whom.

Contrast this with another friend, who had a humougous struggle getting pictures made at her wedding because her mom and dad can't stand the sight of each other and refused to appear in the same pictures.

Sounds like the day was special for your children, as well.

-- Cathy N. (keeper8@attcanada.ca), November 23, 2001.

Very nice Gary! Sounds like your entire family has a lot of class. My parents are divorced as well, but unfortunately the entire planet doesn't seem quite big enough to hold the two of them.

-- Melissa (me@home.net), November 23, 2001.