And we, `The great viewing public will have to suffer` no not the PFA strike but ITV`s refusal to allow the Beeb to include as part of a `Fools and Horses` Xmas full length a showing of Del Boy taking part in an episode of `Who wants to be a Millionaire. I kmow my imagination is pretty vivid but this is with John Sullivans writing a sure fire knock out, a potential classic. It does not take a brain surgeon to work out the possibilties , Del on fastest finger, his dress, the intro, Rodders in the audience and Trigger as his `Phone a Friend, Del would look for a deal on the 50-50 , and I visulise that if the audience got one for him a polite clap would not be suffice,I would anticipate him leaping out of his chair and celebrating football style. Sadly not to be , ITV have requested to show first episode of Fools and Beeb pick up tab for royalties, aint going to happen.

The pressure is on ,we need nationwide poll, this is serious.

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2001

Answers

Am Pi££ed-off

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2001

If there was never another showing of that bloody cockney caper ever again, I would die happy. In fact, if the whole back catalogue could be wiped from the face of the planet and all mention of it made illegal I would die even happier.

David Jason - a man who made a career out of the same character, saying 'plonker', 'perfick' and 'that'll be £250,000 please'.
Nicholas Lyndhurst - a man who has made mainstream, dull and unfunny sit coms an artform. Goodnight Sweetheart, fer f**k's sake, and all those bloody WHSmith ads...not funny, just a scary future of in-breds taking over the world.
The grandad / uncle / any old feller who can sit straight for 25mins - call social services...

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2001

Not sure I follow you Dave...

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2001

LoL Softie. OFaH still makes me larf. Like many commedies, they tend to lose their appeal after a lot of airings, but there are still too many classics "(not) leaning on the bar", Trigger, Boysie and the lads for them to be consigned to Bobby's dustbin. You could always watch something else, you plonker.

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2001

I think repeats of the Good Life or To the Manor Born have greater appeal. And OFaH wouldn't be consigned to the dustbin...to the incinerator! Though not the one in Byker, 'cos that's causing enough agro.

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2001

A good laugh in smallish doses, and infinitely better than any of the dross televised under the banner of "situation comedy" these days that barely raises even a smirk.

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2001

I thought we had already had the last ever OF&H. When I heard about this plan though it got me thinking about how a normally dull christmas day's viewing would be infinately brighter if this was the plan. Someone make telly on christmas day brighter and less monotonous.

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2001

The only sitcom that survives the 4th repeat for me is "Porridge". It doesn't matter how many times I've seen them I still laugh. Great scripts delivered by some brilliant actors.

"Spaced" is holding up really well third time round but not sure what it'll look like in 10 years time. Simon Pegg's crisis over The Phantom Menace was purely for my generation and had me in fits.

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2001

What is it about the Beeb, though: any half decent comedy and they repeat it to death. Blackadder is now nigh on unwatchable thanks to endless repeats.

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2001

the sitcom highlight of the year was on Red Nose day when they did yet another one of special of Meldrum (something I never watched) and it was him and his wife sitting at a hospital bed of a sick firend having brought him a video to watch, it was all the usual cliches, non-comunication between Meldrum and wife, and vaguely amusing until she got the video out the bag and handed Sixth Sense to the friend.

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2001

Like Clarky says, FaH ok in small doses.

I just got into 'Coupling' about three from the end of the current run. That is well worth the license fee IMHO.

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2001

Tell you what is crap, the last series of Ab Fab. Very poor. And I wasn't impressed with the last Gimme Gimme Gimme either. 'My Family with Zoe I-don't-Wannamaker (sp?)? Crap joke after crap joke. Every episode ends with the dad having to lash out a wedge of notes to make up for some improbable error of judgement / family problem / unlikely gangland connection etc. You can feel the American influence so much that it must be bought in. It makes Brushstrokes look like an exercise in postmodernist self-referential comedy. Is that what I pay my license fee for? Is it? No, of course it f**king isn't.

When I become controller of BBC television, and I mean 'control', you can forget your OFaH fatuous drivel. Begone Heartbeat and repeats of Harbour Lights. Get off my television Monarch of the Glenn (and take your comfortable-old-slippers attitude with you). The axe will swing over Animal Hospital, and Ally McSpiel (sic), with the permanently morose Eastenders falling by the wayside. The weak and feeble will be killed off Corrie (I mean, who really gives a toss about 'Fizz' and her grease-monkey boyfriend Tyrone - emphasis on the monkey), the Phill Redmond sex-fantasy show Holyoakes will be no more...unless all the shows end up with a massive drink and drug fuelled romp. Popstars, Soapstars and Pop Idol will be barred. Stars in their Eyes will be on limited license to only allow politicians and A-list celebs perform (how much would you give to see Madonna perform Brotherhood of Man, complete with outfit?).

No, instead there will be informative, entertaining and educational programming. Queer As Folk will be a model of inivative and original broadcasting. House of Cards the perfect (sorry, perfick) drama serial, Never Mind the Buzzcocks a flagship of television that takes chances. Do we really care if Phil 'grunting' Mitchell finds out about his lovechild, when there is seriously entertaining drama like The West Wing.

Lift your heads, little ones. No longer the gloom of Last of the Summer Wine, no longer the misery of Crossroads, an end to the intolerable Inspector Morse. Be uplifted in the new spirit of quality television! Bin the Sky minidish, begone ITV-digital, away with you MOR nonsense. The new generation has begun!

This has been a broadcast by the TV Fascist Party

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2001

Bobby you seem to watch too much television, without necessarily noticing which is on the Beeb and which isn't. Never mind you can probably phone a friend, if your television bound life still allows the concept of 'friend'.

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2001

Oi! Leave my Monarch of the Glen alone! Or at least leave me Alistair MacKenzie. :-)

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2001

Oh dear you think Maggie twats don't seem to have much of a life do you? Get out more lads man. By the way 2-1 we always win 2-1. FTM...............................Mag twats.......................

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2001

Herman, I see the sense of humour-reality check double bypass worked! Of course, it really shows me in a bad light when you can correct me on which tv channel shows appear. Perhaps I forgot to add that in the brave new world commercial television will be binned? So I was right after all...mate.

-- Anonymous, November 23, 2001

"Oh dear you think Maggie twats don't seem to have much of a life do you?"

No, I 'think' we have a rich and varied life. Think you for stopping by...

-- Anonymous, November 23, 2001

I quite like Last of the Summer Wine, I quite like all wine, that is of the grape variety, none of this home made nettle stuff.

-- Anonymous, November 23, 2001

Bobby, what no mention of 'The Sopranos'? The best thing on TV since, well, the last series.

-- Anonymous, November 23, 2001

Comrade Bobby will not last long with his wishy washy populist ideals. When we of the Fenham Jihad take power there will be no television, only Radio 4. Any use of foul cockerney language like 'plonker', 'rodney' and 'spurs' will be punishable by public stoning using confiscated stones bitter. All men will grow long white beards and wear long robes which cover the entire body and a pointy hat with stars on it. All women will wear very little.

-- Anonymous, November 23, 2001

Never actually seen it. Probably got put off by the title...suggest a lot of singing ;-)

-- Anonymous, November 23, 2001

Dread - does that mean we'll be under the influence of Osama Bin Humphreys?

-- Anonymous, November 23, 2001

Best thing on the telly in the last week was the Smell of Reeves and Mortimer (UK Gold or UK Play)

Classic stuff, had me in stitches. Some of the stuff they do wouldn't be funny if anyone else did it, but I bet quite a few people would laugh at them if they stood still and did nowt.

-- Anonymous, November 23, 2001