where in the bible does it say we shouldn't have sex before marriage?

-- megan plum (plumm04@hotmail.com), November 11, 2001

Answers

Jmj

Hi, Megan.
When you say, "have sex," I assume that you mean heterosexual intercourse. First I should say that an unmarried person who engages in this activity is guilty of either fornication or adultery. Fornication is intercourse between two unmarried people. Adultery is intercourse between two people, at least one of whom is married, but not married to the other person.

These sins are condemned in various passages in the New Testament. For example ...

Jesus says (Mark 7:20-23): "What comes out of a man is what defiles a man. For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, fornication, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, licentiousness, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a man."

Jesus also tells the wealthy young man (Mark 10:19): "You know the commandments: 'Do not kill, Do not commit adultery, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Do not defraud, Honor your father and mother.'" St. Paul writes about this in at least three of his letters/epistles:

Ephesians 5:5 -- Be sure of this, that no fornicator or impure man, or one who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.

Galatians 5:19-21 -- Now the works of the flesh are plain: fornication, impurity, licentiousness, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, anger, selfishness, dissension, party spirit, envy, drunkenness, carousing, and the like. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

Colossians 3:5 -- Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: fornication, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.

As you probably noticed, Megan, God has revealed to us not only that we must reserve intercourse to a loving marriage, but also that we honor him by living chastely before our wedding day, avoiding all intentional forms of impurity (e.g., masturbation, "dirty" jokes, lustful thoughts, "necking" to induce sexual pleasure, reading/viewing pornography, etc.).

St. James, pray for us.
God bless you.
John

-- (jfgecik@hotmail.com), November 12, 2001.

To add a few passages from the Old Testament:

Both the places where the Ten Commandments are listed--Exodus 20 and Deuteronomy 5--mention adultery: "You shall not commit adultery." (Exod. 20:14 parr. Dtn 5:18)

Leviticus 20:10-21 lists a number of sexual abominations.

We may add 1 Cor 6:9-10 to the list of of NT passages: "Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither the immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor sexual perverts, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor robbers will inherit the kingdom of God."

"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, which you have from God?" (1 Cor 6:19). Here is a link to an online Bible, if you want to browse yourself, Megan.

Pax et bonum,

-- Oliver Schrinner (piraya@hispavista.com), November 13, 2001.

The above passages state how fornication is wrong but there is no clear definition of fornication (they don't state sex before marriage is fornication), I have been searching the Bible for any passage that says you can not have sex with a loving partner (not a prostitute) before marriage and can not find any. Seems to me like this matter is pretty unclear and the above passages don't really answer the question....?

-- Will Millar (wemillar@hotmail.com), January 09, 2003.

None of the above passages even mention marriage at all....

-- Will Millar (wemillar@hotmail.com), January 09, 2003.

"The above passages state how fornication is wrong but there is no clear definition of fornication (they don't state sex before marriage is fornication), I have been searching the Bible for any passage that says you can not have sex with a loving partner (not a prostitute) before marriage and can not find any. Seems to me like this matter is pretty unclear and the above passages don't really answer the question....?

None of the above passages even mention marriage at all...."

If the Bible were meant to be a dictionary as well, then I would see a problem. However, since the Bible is not (nor does it contain) a dictionary, then I would not expect it to define ALL the words it uses. For instance - Murder - is not clearly defined in the Bible as the killing of one person by another. And if it was defined as such, "killing" is not defined as the stopping of one life by another... "life" isn't defined as well... See what I mean? For all we know "murder" could be a big loving hug. But we know better than that since we already know the meaning of murder. The word itself contains the meaning. Fornication is no different. The word itself implies that it is before marriage, therefore the Bible doesn't need to mention that it is before marriage.

Webster’s Dictionary has this to say about Fornication:

“Main Entry: for·ni·ca·tion Pronunciation: "for-n&-'kA-sh&n Function: noun Date: 14th century : consensual sexual intercourse between two persons not married [there's the word] to each other -- compare ADULTERY.”

There - now that you know the meaning of the word - if you apply it to the use in the Bible, then you notice that since the definition of the word is pre-marital sex, the Bible doesn't need to mention marriage.

[continued]

-- Jake Huether (jake_huether@yahoo.com), January 09, 2003.

To further confuse you - the Bible (in case you didn't know) wasn't written in English! So, really - there was another word for Fornication, which (depending on whether it was found in the NT or OT) could have been Greek, or Hebrew. But even before that the actual word Jesus used was most probably Aramaic!

Moreover, the fact that the definition of the word isn't written in the Bible along side the word indicates that it was a common word, whose meaning was already clear to those reading it! If I were to tell you to stop fornicating - you would know what I mean without me having to define fornication for you. Just so, God commanded us not to fornicate (using a different language obviously), expecting those listening to already understand the meaning of the word!

In Christ.

-- Jake Huether (jake_huether@yahoo.com), January 09, 2003.

I came across a GREAT explanation of why sex before marriage isn't a good idea, in the Summer 2002 issue of Human Life Review (sorry I can't remember the name of the author, I'll try to find it when I get home).

Anyway, she said that in addition to procreation, the purpose of sex is to bond you to your partner so that you will overlook his/her faults and stay with him/her.

Now, this is a wonderful thing AFTER marriage, because it helps you get through all the rough spots when you're starting a new home and family.

But BEFORE marriage, you need to keep your eyes wide open and your wits about you - this is NOT the time to be overlooking a potential mate's faults!

I never heard anyone explain it in quite that perspective before - it definitely rings true (and might have prevented me from getting involved in some bad relationships)!

-- Christine L. :-) (christine_lehman@hotmail.com), January 09, 2003.

i am convinced by the Father through Jesus Christ that it is wrong, fornication, i am convinced it means really any kind of consenting sexual activity between two unmarried people. Let it be wrong, if for no other reason- because other brothers and sisters in Christ who are weaker in the faith might be led astray. Also, it replaces what is designed for marriage. (read Romans 14 -15 area about liberty and love) consider another scripture: Greater love has no man than this: to lay down his life for the bretheren. Consider what we might need to stop doing in order to help gived strengthj to the larger body of Christ, not just our individual body.I pray that I consider what God wants me to choose for Him rather then me choosing for my flesh's desires of sexually lustish 'feels so good' cravings. I am a sinner by nature, it is a narrow road to walk, He is faithful to make us stand, We are forgiven in Christ and can go forth and with Him aim to sin no more. If there is any doubt, do not do it, anything from doubt is not of faith and therefore is sin. Romans chapters13-14-15. Must be fully convinced and have no doubt. act on faith. faith.

-- brian (bryn1111@hotmail.com), October 19, 2003.

Protestant here. The NIV doesn't even use the word "fornication" just "sexual immorality." What's that? Who knows?

im•mor•al [i máwrəl] adjective defying moral principles: contrary to accepted moral principles

Well the world seems to accept sex before marriage. If we are going to rely on the world for the definitions of words then why shouldn't we rely on the world's opinion on sex? More people are having sex before marriage than ever, or is it just more accepted? Could it just be that the pope's from long ago bashed people about abstinence to limit the population growth to such a point that society came to the point that they would not talk about it, but instead they would lust after it in their rooms late at night and masturbate? Isn't that sexual immorality, or is that accepted as well? I know that nobody likes the idea that the Bible does not say, "Don't have sex before marriage," but it doesn't. Even Paul says that God did not give him any advice on virgins, but it was his opinion that virgins stay virgins, forever. Not even Jesus’ mother followed that idea and she was a very virtuous woman [I'm talking about Jesus’ brother James, the one that Catholics say is not blood related]. So God leaves it up to us. What level of risk do you want to take? Do you want to have sex with a partner who was not completely honest with you and has been with multiple men and women who were infected with some sort of sick degenerative STD, or maybe you want to get pregnant or get some girl pregnant, perhaps you have the desire to have the reputation of being a man whore or slut (quite a lot like a prostitute don't you think?) and sleep with whatever you can get with. Well, you'll regret it. Did you find that perfect someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with? Well, he/she isn't bound to you in the least. How much can you really know about someone? This person could be using you for the same reason you are using that person. You may even keep the secret that all you want is sex a secret, such a deep secret that you don't even know it. That's lying. That's lust. Can you stop lust by acting on it? Momentarily, but it will only get harder to stop. Your lust will build. God will sentence you, and not even your priest can save you from God's final word. Be careful, be smart; you risk your life every time you have sex.

-- matt (compsci57@hotmail.com), December 16, 2003.

I look it this "practical" way:

Making love or having sex , is something personal between 2 people , (partners) , which both has to agree (100%) on it , both have also accept the consequences , if they wanna do it !! __ BTW , for making love or sex , both have to be age of +18 !! __ btw: But , but , but .... luckily for many of them , there excists anti-conception !!

BTW: Personal , I'm not in for one-night-stands or pay-sex , that has nothing to do with love !!

BTW: What about "the ladies of pleasure" ?? __ Your view ??

Salut & Cheers from a NON BELIEVER:

-- Laurent LUG (.@...), December 18, 2003.

Jmj

Matt, I'd set aside that NIV if I were you. It is clearly misleading you. The New International Version is a partial Bible translation, prepared not many years ago by a group of "evangelical protestants." It has become popular among many protestants who have trouble understanding the King James (partial) Version -- and have guts enough to admit it! The NIV is missing seven Old Testament books and parts of two others -- and it has some translation errors. You need a Catholic Bible, such as the "Revised Standard Version -- Catholic Edition."

Laurent, I have a few words for you ...
Get the heck out of this forum, you ex-Catholic, atheistic @#$%^&*!

How dare you come here -- which you have known for two years is an orthodox Catholic forum that promotes virtues -- and promote mortal sins instead? This was probably the worst post -- of hundreds of bad ones -- that you have ever left here. I think that the moderator should ban you -- or at least suspend you for this violation of our dignity -- unless you apologize profusely.

Pushing non-marital sex and contraception --- and even asking if we approve of prostitutes! Your words make me sick to my stomach.

May God forgive you.
John

-- J. F. Gecik (jfgecik@hotmail.com), December 20, 2003.

Pushing non-marital sex and contraception --- and even asking if we approve of prostitutes!

John , I just asked your or someone else their opinon , is that wrong ?? __ I never said I approve prostitusion or adultery or sex before marriage !! __ I will not !! __ Even , Pay-sex is totally pervert !!!! __ But what if 2 healthy persons who really are in love with eachother decide to make love ?? __ Well , that's none of our business , even you or me dissaprove this !! __ Yes , you can warn them for this "stupidity" , but what if they don't (want to) listen !! __ What I mean , for those who commit all these things , they have to take the responsibility & consequences of what they are doing !! __ So , I would say , think twice , regret comes always too late !!

And what if someone have sex with someone and he/her or that other person has aids ?? __ Something like that is murder !!

The Belgian cardinal Danneels said a while ago on a national Belgian commercial TV-station (talk-show) , persons with aids , if they wanna have sex , they need to use a condom !! (I swear , I don't lie about this)

Salut & Cheers from a NON BELIEVER:

-- Laurent LUG (my__way_@hotmail.com), December 20, 2003.

Larry, all your comments and devilish arguments are invalid. I could reply to them, but I won't, for two reasons:
1. You couldn't care less about getting the truth.
2. I don't consider you to be a legitimate contributor to the forum. (You must have forgotten that I have asked the moderator to ban you. Don't address any more comments to me.)
JFG

-- (jfgecik@hotmail.com), December 21, 2003.