[humor break] 16 signs your cat is plotting world domination

greenspun.com : LUSENET : Current News - Homefront Preparations : One Thread

for all us cat lovers...

16. Sits on your newspaper in the morning and carefully reads the coded message that Garfield sends out every day. 15. Used to sleep on top of TV, now monitors CNN 24 hours a day.

14. Notably absent from home during surprise feline invasion of Poland.

13. When you enter the room, Snowball and the other members of the Tri-Cateral Commission stop talking and begin playing with yarn.

12. Behind the couch you find a forged passport, plane tickets, and nine suicide bombs.

11. What you thought was "heat" is actually a four-legged goose step.

10. Well, "somebody" subscribed to alt.cats.world.domination.

9. Autopsy of the last mouse left on your doormat reveals "tattoo" to be blueprint of the UN Building.

8. Constantly petting that bald man he keeps on his lap.

7. Kitty Chow spilled on the floor spells out "Drop the car keys and leave the door open or the dog gets it in the head."

6. Then -- dead mice in the kitchen. Now -- dead third world dictators in the basement.

5. Judging from the kitchen, he seems to be working on some kind of "land mine" technology.

4. Fluffy is now sleeping only 21 hours a day, down from 23.

3. Has recently been acting somewhat... aloof.

2. What your cat lacks in charisma and good looks, he makes up for with his ruthless handling of rival software companies.

and the Number 1 Sign Your Cat is Plotting World Domination...

1. Somehow, you're now subscribed to "Feline of Fortune" magazine.

-- Anonymous, November 09, 2001


thanks...I needed that.

[I know the Greenspun message says don't use a fake name and address, but we actually do encourage you to make one up. There have been some problems with stalking and harrassment on other forums on LUSENET. Long as it doesn't have .com, .net, .org, etc., on the end, it's okay. OG]

-- Anonymous, November 09, 2001

"nine suicide bombs" Those would be turds. Angel carefully lines them up in the basement when I have been neglecting box duty.

-- Anonymous, November 09, 2001

What about my cats' subscription to Speilunker?

-- Anonymous, November 09, 2001

AT A SUPERMARKET, I overheard two women talking in the next aisle. "Horace and I have been together ten years now and he makes me very happy," one said. "So I don't mind buying him what he likes even if it is more expensive." "Well, with my Benny I have no choice. He's just plain fussy," her friend replied. I turned into their aisle. Both women were loading their shopping carts with high-quality cat food. -- Contributed to Reader's Digest "Life In These United States" by Helen Ksypka

-- Anonymous, November 09, 2001

I just fed my cats and they had cooked chicken breast....cut into real small pieces so they don't have to put too much effort in chewing. :^) Spoiled, spoiled, spoiled. hehehe

-- Anonymous, November 10, 2001

Moderation questions? read the FAQ