BostonHerald

Liberals give new attitude their best shot by Howie Carr

Friday, November 2, 2001

There's an old saying that a conservative is a liberal who's been mugged.

Now I guess we can add, a gun-owner is a liberal who's worried about terrorists.

It's a silver lining to a dark cloud, isn't it, this sudden collapse of the anti-gun movement? But by God, it's happened. In the halls of Congress and the State House, they used to debate: Should we ban assault weapons?

Now the more pressing question is: Do I buy a revolver or an automatic? Do you want to give up the larger magazine on an automatic for the greater reliability of the .38 caliber revolver? Ask any liberal - the choice is clear. The pros take the revolver, and so should any card-carrying member of the ACLU.

My favorite newly minted gun-nut is Rep. Jay Kaufman from Lexington. You don't get any more politically correct than Jay Kaufman. The last time this guy got in the headlines, he was sticking up for Judge Maria Lopez after she let the transvestite pedophile named Ebony off with a slap on the wrist.

Now, we learn in yesterday's paper, Jay Kaufman is thinking about investing in what Damon Runyon called ``the equalizer.'' May I suggest, Representative, that if you decide to journey north to shop for a previously owned firearm, you consider the Charter Arms Bulldog.

Time may have passed the Bulldog by, but it's a snub-nose .38, and how can you beat the name? When confronted on Route 2A by a wild-eyed savage from al-Qaeda, Rep, right before you let him have it, you can grab that small extra measure of satisfaction by yelling: ``Listen to the Bulldog bark, Abdullah!''

Mother of Gawd, what's next? Is Sen. Cheryl Jacques (rhymes with Fakes) pricing a new crossbow?

We all understand that Massachusetts has perhaps the most repressive anti-gun laws in the nation. Tom Reilly, the demented attorney general, despises guns - at least in the hands of law-abiding citizens. But when the likes of Jay Kaufman are considering purchasing a piece, it doesn't matter how many campaign contributions Tom Reilly vacuums up from indicted mobsters like John Connolly, eventually you, too, will have as much right to own a non-PC gun as the Bulger mob.

Of course, the gun tide was turning even before 9/11. Give Clinton the chameleon credit for being one of the first to recognize it. As early as last winter, there were reports that after studying last year's county-by-county returns in Arkansas and Tennessee, he told people that Al Gore's squishiness on the gun issue had cost him the presidency.

But 2000 was a long time ago. In those days, it was OK to pardon terrorists. Remember the bloodthirsty Puerto Ricans Clinton freed to win a few Hispanic votes for his bride? The New York Times could never bring itself to refer to the FALN bombers as the terrorists they so obviously were.

They were ``nationalists.''

Even the Old Gray Lady under Pinch (as opposed to Punch) Sulzberger is under no illusions about this newest breed of Third World killers. They're terrorists, no matter what Maureen Dowd thinks.

Banning guns isn't the only liberal cause you don't hear nearly so much about these days. Amnesty for illegal aliens (they used to call them ``undocumented workers'') is another. Ditto the terrible injustice of racial profiling.

And now the liberals are buying guns.

Twenty years ago, Dapper O'Neil used to carry a concealed weapon onto the floor of the Boston City Council. Someday, the Dap would rail at his namby-pamby colleagues, a nut's gonna come strolling in, and you'll be glad somebody in here's man enough to carry a rod.

I couldn't reach Dapper yesterday to ask him about the new phenomenon of what he would call social-planning liberal do-gooders deciding to buy gats, but that's OK, because I know what the Dap would say:

``It's enough to make ya wanna throw up on TV.''

Howie Carr's radio show can be heard every weekday afternoon on WRKO-AM 680, WHYN-AM 560, WGAN-AM 560, WXTK 95.1 FM or online at howiecarr.org.

-- Anonymous, November 02, 2001