LUCIANNE - Short cuts for Friday

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Friday, November 02, 2001

Quote of The Day

"We expected a completely joyless, rigid society. Today, in fact, we saw a young boy flying a kite."

--ABC’s Dan Harris to Peter Jennings via videophone from Taliban-controlled Kandahar.


Here come the Turks and they are on our side!

Thank You, Mr. Ashcroft: For those in Congress and the media who felt Monday's Red Alert was needlessly alarming, here's the background on the administration's decision. And for those who whined that telling the American people left them frustrated that there was nothing they could do - here's what to do: Listen, listen closely.

The Thang That Wouldn't Leave: For weeks we glided along with no Bubba news and now we are drowning in it. The Washington Post has a tardy item about his explosion backstage at the Boo Concert. He says he didn't speak up for Hillary on stage because he didn't want to "start a fight." What a missed historical moment that was.

Then, he tells a rocker's girl friend he's a reggala Carl von Clausewitz.

He capped off this whirlwind of cringe and nausea by telling a group in Harlem that New York is a "do, do, do" city -- battling "don't, don't, don't terrorist threats." Please, we're begging here - somebody make this man shut up.

When Your Luck Is Batting Zero: Enough that your job as a professional Christian takes you to Afghanistan. Enough that the Taliban puts you in jail for months and feeds you fried rat and moldy bread. Now you get word that there is someone here to see you .........Al Sharpton... These people are truly savages.

Fourth Estate, Fifth Column: Thanks to William Saletan for his insightful piece on the incessant loser jabber coming from the press about the war. The most egregious, to our mind, being Wolf Blitzer with his endless use of phrases like “some people are suggesting” and “some critics are saying” when he's only talking about himself Cokie Roberts and the New Black Panthers.

Don't Fret - It's A Clever Plot: Yesterday's late day news that Geraldo Rivera had jumped to Fox and is off to cover the war was met with universal moans by Fox lovers and questions about Fox News CEO Roger Ailes' sanity. People shouldn't underestimate Ailes... He knows the B-roll of Geraldo kissing his V shaped fingers just before he takes a direct hit will play for years.

And Lastly: Let's have a moment of silence for the moment of silence ruling by the Supreme Court. We can all keep quiet while the ACLU goes over to Wolf Blitzer's house to lick their wounds.

Don't forget to come back for our Weekend Roundtable. Hint? Sure. You could hum it.

Your Friday Delirious LComStaff

-- Anonymous, November 02, 2001

Answers

Thank You, Mr. Ashcroft: Listen, Listen closely

The Thang That Wouldn't Leave: The Washington Post

he's a reggala

whirlwind of cringe and nausea

When Your Luck Is Batting Zero: someone here to see you .........Al Sharpton

Fourth Estate, Fifth Column: the incessant loser jabber coming from the press

Don't Fret - It's A Clever Plot: People shouldn't underestimate Ailes

And Lastly: We can all keep quiet

someone here to see you .........Al Sharpton. ACK!

-- Anonymous, November 02, 2001


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