Sunderland football practice was delayed on Wednesday for nearly two hours.

One of the players, while on his way back to the dressing room happened to look down and notice a suspicious looking, unknown white powdery substance at the end of the field. Practice was immediately suspended while the Police were called in to investigate.

After a complete field analysis, the Police determined that the white substance was the opposition goal line.

Practice was resumed when the officials decided that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance again.

-- Anonymous, October 31, 2001

Answers

Always Pleasurable

-- Anonymous, October 31, 2001

LOL. Nice one, Wayne!

-- Anonymous, November 01, 2001

Fantastic! great way to start the day. cheers Wayne

-- Anonymous, November 01, 2001

Oh ha ha ha! Wayne ,my mothers maiden name is eland.Dunston born.

-- Anonymous, November 01, 2001

Not THE famous Slapper Eland ??

-- Anonymous, November 01, 2001

That could probably be taken out of context if I thought about it. Calling blokes' mothers!!! What ever next?

-- Anonymous, November 02, 2001

isn't an eland a type of antelope?..they'll do anything on Wearside to try and create players with a bit of pace :-)

-- Anonymous, November 02, 2001

Is Dunston on Wearside? I don't think so.Let me guess,a Newcastle"fan" who knows nowt about tyneside.

-- Anonymous, November 02, 2001

Very juvenile I know..sorry Superkev ;-)

Common Eland

I. DESCRIPTION: Largest (surely also slowest) and most heavily built of the antelopes (spelling - interlopers?). Shoulder height: 6 feet. Weight: up to 2000 pounds. Both sexes have horns about 2 feet long and slightly spiralled (ie can't tell them apart). They have a hump (surely chip?) on their shoulders and a prominent dewlap (afrikans for beergut?). Color is tawny (surely tawdry?); dorsal line, tail tuft and tip of dewlap are all black. They have a few thin, vertical white stripes on the body and a tuft of dark hair on the forehead. Their hooves are rounded. II. GEOGRAPHICAL RANGE AND HABITAT: Found in eastern, central and southern Africa. Prefer plains or moderately rolling country with brush and scattered trees. III. DIET: Young leaves of trees and shrubs; also, succulent fruits. Males and female favor different foods: females are selective feeders of flowers and herbs in open grassland, while male browse bushes near cover. IV. LIFE CYCLE/SOCIAL STRUCTURE: Browse in morning and evening. Lie in shelter during heat of day. Very shy and difficult to approach. Gregarious, occurring in groups up to 100. Bulls often solitary, but not territorial. Travel long distances during migration. Impregnate forehead tuft with moist or urine-soaked soil and brush this paste on tree trunks, bushes, or walls as a marking. Use horns for fighting and to break branches off trees. Display broadside, keeping head up and away and presenting shoulder region. Males are sexually mature at 4 years of age, females at 3 years. Apparently there is no fixed breeding season but the majority of births are at the beginning of the rainy season. Gestation period is 250-270 days; one calf is usual. Calves form nursery groups; often have closer bonds with other calves than with their mothers. Males decide ranking by their sparring within the nursery group. Females will cooperatively fight predators. Life span is 15-20 years. V. SPECIAL ADAPTATIONS: Can go for long periods without drinking, getting sufficient moisture from food. VI. INTERPRETIVE INFORMATION: Elands have been tamed, but not domesticated as yet. Eland can gain 1 1/2 pounds a day on grazing land compared to about 2/3 of a pound in cattle. Adult males produce a clicking noise when walking, possibly originating in the tendons of the front legs. The click is much louder than the clacking of the hooves and can be heard over a mile away in still conditions. The sound may serve to warn younger males there is a large dominant male around. VII. STATUS IN WILD: They have been reduced in numbers because: they are easily captured and killed; they yield large amounts of tender meat; their thick hide is excellent; and they suffer from rinderpest. Although the common eland is not endangered, the giant eland is listed as endangered by the IUCN and the USFDI. VIII. BIBLIOGRAPHY: 1. MacDonald, David. 1984. The Encyclopedia of Mammals, Equinox Ltd, Oxford. 2. Moss, Cynthia. 1975. Portraits in the Wild, University of Chicago Press. 3. Nowak, Ronald. 1991. Walker's Mammals of the World, 5th Ed. Vol II, Johns Hopkins University Press, Baltimore, MD. 4. World Wildlife Fund, Inc. 1993. In "Focus", Vol. 15, No. 6, Nov/Dec '93. 5. Docent information sheets. EC:7/93 AC:1/94

-- Anonymous, November 02, 2001

No need to apologise but still a commendable act.A little too much imformation about wildlife though.;-)

-- Anonymous, November 02, 2001

Kev, when you coming over to darken my door?? ;)

-- Anonymous, November 02, 2001

If at all it will be about July 2002.Depends on finances as I have a stag do in Magaluf and prague next year.

-- Anonymous, November 02, 2001

You getting married twice next year Soops? You must have a pretty good lawyer lined up to get the divorce thru that quickly. Enjoy yersel' in the Windy City - Syme's a great guide (but divvent let him show you he's woggle).`

-- Anonymous, November 02, 2001

Not MY stag-do's.I can see how you could come to that conclusion though.

-- Anonymous, November 02, 2001

Yeah - when I re-read it, I realised you said finances. I thought you were talking about two wimmin.

-- Anonymous, November 02, 2001

Soops

eland.Duns

add an r juggle letters and I know why you support Sunderland.

-- Anonymous, November 02, 2001

Oi Josh - you leave Soops' "R"s alone, otherwise the pollis will be after ye.

-- Anonymous, November 02, 2001

I think that was the 1st time I've seen S*n*erl*nd on this BBS - oops.

-- Anonymous, November 02, 2001

... aye, well make it the last in aal. We divvent want language like that on here, bonny lad!

;o{)

-- Anonymous, November 02, 2001

Ah that explains it soops, must be something to do with the name then, my brother is the family anomaly with the red & white fever rather than the b&w.

-- Anonymous, November 02, 2001