Those were the days my friend I thought they'd never end ...... These words rang in my head as I left Min at Euston station at 11.45pm on Saturday night . I think Ive only just fully come round now %-) . The state we departed Euston was a far cry from the one that Min and me met at 6.10 am the same morning . Id like to think it was better like , but I know we were more dishevelled than the bleary eyed unshaven , hungover mess we were both in at the start of the day . Well at least the train left on time at 6.30 and we settled into our reserved seats and at 20 quid each return you couldnt get vexed . We were meant to be in the so called ' Quiet ' carriage , but you wouldnt have belived that by the amount of shite three manure fans talked all the bliddy way from Euston - Wolverhampton . We wanted sleep , they wanted to talk all things Champions league in the next seats . If either me or Min hahd had the inclination to open wor eyes , the manure london supporters club may have had more to discuss . Anyways those buggers left the train at Wolverhampton as did our up til then jolly brummie inspector . He was however replaced by Jim out of the Royle family . And Jim wasnt afraid of a word or two I can tell ya , he woke me up and kept us amused all the way up to Liver-pyewel - Lllllaaame striiiyyt . With constant calls of ' Ello La , dis is Jim , I am yer supervisor for da day we will be caaaalin at Rrrrrruncarn , Criyew , and Liver-pyewel - Lllllaaame striiiyyt .. prompting obvious giggles from all over the whole train , especially the immature Geordies in coach F ie Us . This wasnt helped by the purchase of this months Viz with all new character being Boy Scouse ... ' Come 'ed yer friggir hand over da' perse ya ol bag ' .. we were well prepared to get chinned on arrival in Liiime striyt . We got there at 10 am and a frantic search round the whole city yielded no watering holes open til 11 am . Thirsty Geordies we were . Eventually the doors opened from a friendly Evertonian beseeching his worldy knowledge of soccer upon us .. such Gems as ' Da ' Craig Bellamy he's dead crick like that lad isnt he la ? ' , and ' Welter Smi won av Gazza on , he's no tiiiime for sentimen lyycchh ' I had to agree - but mebbes that was cos he served us Carling at a pound a pint for two hours $-) . We moved from Town at 1.00 ish up to the Cabbage Hall on Breck Road ( a lot closer to Anfield than Goodison ) and talked to a few friendly locals before meeting up with Screach , Peach and Dougal , who were all in high spirits . Great to see them again and after drinking til 2.45 a taxi to Goodison was caught and Sreach had enough time for another photo call or ten from the Sun glass donned Aussie and Kiwi travellers , along with the new born Dingle . Are these items to prove to be wor lucky mascots ? No entry to the ground for 15 minutes due to sh1te policing and a very substandard ground and we missed the first ten minutes of the game . Mind you its always worth trading that for the states of Geordies queing up for the match ... it was like the Gallowgate end queue of old - the usual waifs and strays , drunks , groups with nae tickets , punters selling Mags , fat blokes spilling pie on thersels - this is what I had missed since me last match and why id travelled from Sydney for the game . The Geordie Populus in full throttle - Drink Drink whrever you may be , we are drunk and disorderly .. youve all been there , and the rush of blood coursing through your veins before you twist through that turnstile walk up the steps and into the arena and your first sight of a player in Black and White kicking the ball is second to none . U- N - I - T- E - D rang around the ground , I didnt know what to do with meself . In what seemed like no time and Bellamy had scored the firts goal , the euphoria was better than any drug a man can buy ... we went over seats , we droped food , we dropped fags , lost money , punched a friend ... but these 3,000 people all around me all hugging and kissing and jumping around were on the same planet ... planet paradise - EVERTON 0 NEWCASTLE 1 ... Git the f... in Bonnie lad , Git the f... in is all I could say , but it meant a hell of a lot more than that after travelling from one side of the world to the other . The half closed that way and I belive deservedly so . For those who I meet in due course Ill discuss the ins and out of each player and their performance , but for me the day was down to the performance of the Toon Army . Half Time was really like the second half for me , meeting a few old faces surprised to see me , others not so ! The usual mish mash of Geordie Hilarity and one liners that just cannot be transported anywhere else . For example the Big fat lads who wear no tops came past , the lad next to me had the temerity to ask them ' How Lads which way to the beach 'the answer was a resounding ' F... off kidda ' ahhhh the subtleties ! A local pigeon ( rumoured to belong to Big Dunc ) fluttered around the away end landing on unsuspecting heads , and got a bigger cheer than when the lads came back onto the pitch . SeconD Half resumed and so did the Toon , forcing the early pace and had me fully focusse , then in came the cross up went Nobby ( or was it down ? ) and up we went went 2-0 ... ensuing scenes like we'd won the cup . You hug the next man and Ill hug his mate .... The gloss was wiped off a minute later when verton came back into it and a few nervous moments ( aye just a few ) before Clarence's icing on the cake .. i felt a bit guilty cos Id been calling him worse than sh1te all afternoon , but what the hell . EVERTON 1 NEWCASTLE 3 .... Queue every Toon song known to man , but especially for me the Blaydon races ringing around an empty Goodison Park as the players applauded our efforts as we applauded theirs will stick in my memory when Im sat up in Australia at 3 am watching the Toon in a deserted bar .... We returned to the Cabbage after the game full of joy for a celebratory beer (or two ) and the train jourmey back to London ahead of us . Sc reacher , Peach and Dougal heade their seperate ways to Coventry and Newcastle via Liiime stree' and Min and I embarked on the long journey back armed with Fresh Chips and 8 cans for a fiver ( only in Scouse land ) . The comfort was interrupted at Crewe as the locomitive broke down and we had to change trains , but that made the whole thing all the more enjoyable . The next train was chocka and we stood for four hours in the buffet carriage after Mr Branson's jobsworth guards wouldnt let us take a seat in the empty four ( !! ) first class carriages even though we'd been usurped form our booked seats on the other train ... british bureaucracy gotta lov it , not ! By the end of the trip we re again like a couple of school kids doing scouse impressions .. Accrington Stanle - who are dey ? No worse than Everton on todays showing ... Ian Rush wouldve been proud . Those were the days my friend I thought they'd never end ... Bring on the Villa !

-- Anonymous, October 30, 2001

Answers

Another Person ? Where was Gav when we needed him ?

-- Anonymous, October 30, 2001

In a 5 star hotel with his missus on the English Riveria (ie Torquay)...celebrating their 1st anniversary....where else? ;))

-- Anonymous, October 30, 2001

Wonderful report, Sting! I feel like I was there...only without the hangover and bruises. ;-))

-- Anonymous, October 30, 2001

You always said you were a lover not a fighter :-) Popped the question yet ;-)

-- Anonymous, October 30, 2001

Good to hear from you again Sting - welcome home!

Hey Gav it was my first wedding anniversary last Saturday too! Very drunk after visiting a number of nobby bars we wouldn't normally be seen dead in culminating in a chance meeting with messrs Sheringham and Anderton who the missus insisted on 'chatting' to (she was extra specially drunk) I, of course, refused to even acknowledge their presence. Home to watch the taped goals on tv having avoided finding out the score.

Not quite as good as Sting's day but a corker nevertheless.

-- Anonymous, October 30, 2001

Priceless, Sting bonny lad - welcome hyem.

-- Anonymous, October 30, 2001

See yers all Saturday for a beverage and a bit catch up $-)

-- Anonymous, October 30, 2001

..and we'll do ti aal ower again this saturday. great report kidda. We'll look back on days like this in 30 years and STILL be giggling.

Milk? It's worr Ian Rush drinks...

-- Anonymous, October 31, 2001

brilliant Sting, I can feel the atmosphere on that train. Where did you learn to write Scouse?

-- Anonymous, October 31, 2001