Woohoo! We did it again. Just back from Goodison after an excellent day. I wish all games were like those away from SJP (well, apart from Wham). And I wish all games weren't televised on Sky. Incredibly, we've wone every EPL match this season that hasn't been on Sky. Stage fright or what? I dunno, but it adds credence to .COM's wonderful heedline this week aboot the Toon supporting the Tellyban.

Took #1 son who was visiting and met up with Dougal for the trip to Merseyside. Not a lot different from the road to Notlob, 'cept for the last few miles. Hopes were high that we could come away with a similar result, and if not, at least a point. I think Dougal may have been slightly (!) less optimistic ;-)

Got a call from Min who had caught the milk train from Euston at 6:30am with Sting, arriving at Lime St by 10:00, only to find no pubs open - serve ye bliddy right for getting up so early! Directed them to The Arkles, our usual watering hole for games at Goodison, only to be informed by Mungo (ace ticket master) that it was shut. Hastily rearranged for The Cabbage Hall - would Dancin' Dave be there???

Arrived at the CH by 14:00 and managed a swift half or so. A cab ride to Goodison, with Min's Dingle Hat finding its way onto the taxi driver's head. The things some folks will do for fame. Inside the ground, the Toon Army were again in good voice. The game was pretty open in the first half and we absorbed quite a lot of pressure, countering on the break with the pace of Bellamy. One such run put us ahead, with a long ball into the area totally confusing Gerrard in the Toffee goal and as he came to the edge of the area, it was obvious to him (and about 35,000 or so others) he couldn't catch it, so he tried to head it. At the same time, Abel Xavier had a similar idea, and the two clattered into each other, with the ball bouncing over them both and into the path of Bellamy. To say he took his time is a bit of an understatement, and after what seemed like 20 secs or so, he rolled the ball into the empty net. The Toon Army went wild, but for me, the celebrations were somewhat marred by the sight of Xavier being taken off on a stretcher, to be immediately replaced by the sub. Good luck for us, as AX seemed to be having a cracker of a game up to that point.

Everton continued to press, with Toon hitting back on the counter. Shay Given made a couple of tremendous saves, one at the forward's feet and one to tip over a deflected free kick. Nobby did nowt and Robert was little better. Speed seemed up for a game against his old chums and Clarence ran around a lot and got booked. Hughes looked comfortable at RB - maybe his best chance of making a regular place for himself and Robbie Elliott's distribution was as bad as ever. Up fron, Bellamy ran and ran and Shearer didn't. Perhaps that was a bit unfair on AS, but he hardly won a ball in the air all day and whinged a lot. Clearly he will be wor next manager and he's learned a lot from the most successful EPL manager of aal time. But at least he doesn't have a red face.

Everton could (and should) have gone in at HT with at least a goal, but they didn't - tee hee. The second half saw the teams line up as the ended the first (tho they were facing in the other direction). Surprisingly, there was no Stevie Watson - either in their starting line-up or on the bench. Was he injured? The only ex-Toonster to start was Pist One, with Gazza and Big Yin warming the bench. Hardly had we zipped wor trousers up and taken our seats places back in the Lower Visitors than we extended the lead to 2-0. The ball was worked down the right and the cross was met majestically by the previously anonymous Whats-is-name who towered above the defence to place his header past the hopeless hapless Paul Gerrard. OK, so I made up the bit about Whats-is-name - it was Nobby. I also made up the bit about rising majestically. But it was him and his heed wot put us 2 up. But why oh why was he in the middle? His place is on the wing, yet he insists on popping up in the middle to score. It simply won't do and YBR must have strong words with him ;-)

It's a good job we scored that one, as minutes later, Everton pulled one back, and that uneasy feeling started to creep back. A corner from their right was met by Weir who was totally unchallenged. I thought Given should have come for it, but whatever, somebody should have been marking him (and don't say Bellamy!).

Around this time, Everton's biggest threat up front (Campbell) was injured and replaced by their biggest pidgeon fancier. IMHO, Campbell hahd had a super game up to this point and it was a relief he was replaced. You always felt Big Dunc might grab at least one, and only a fantastic reaction save from Given managed to tip a goal-bound shot over the top. Thankfully, that was the only threat that Dunc made and the only thing he grabbed was Dabz's shorts. Phew.

I must say, that up to this point (and for the rest of the game) the best man on the park (no, not the one wearing top hat and tails) was Graveson. He dominated midfield and was at the heart of everything they did. I wish we had a player of that stature. Clearly by comparison, out midfield 4 were lightweight. In fact, on reflection, they probably weigh as much together as Graveson does on his own, but that doesn't stop him controlling the MF. I've felt in the past that he's a Gazza look-alike and on today's performance, his skills were almost on a par with Gazza at his best. And from a Gazza look-alike to the real thing (no, not the pop group with the dodgy hair styles and flairs Clarky). With about 20 mins or so to go, Gazza came on to replace somebody.

He got the usual tremendous tremendous welcome from the Toon Army, and of course, as soon as he got the ball, boos, jeers and cries of "You fat b@st@rd" rang around. All good fun, and Gateshead's finest acknowledged his once-adoring public. He's coming to the end of his career. I hope the lack of competitive football in future doesn't herald the end for PG. Let's hope he finds something else to keep him busy and off the booze. Mebbes he could start playing golf with Rik??

In all honesty, Everton were a spent force by this time, and it is no surprise that we scored a third. Again, in the confusion of an uncontrolled Toon Army, it was difficult to see exactly what went on, but the ball arrived in the back of the net, courtesy of Clarence Acuná with an assist from Robert. Goodison went silent - well, apart from the Lower Visitors and Upper Visitors. The loudest noise coming from the Toffee supporters was their feet on the stapes as they left the ground in droves.

We played the ball around for a short while longer until the Smog Monster blew his whistle. Not a great performance from Jeff Winter, but no real howlers. A couple of bookings for open-gob syndrome, but some decent advantages played, and a great decision to give us a goal-kick when Shay made a fantastic finger-tip save round his left post.

A reunion with Dougal, Grant and Min, and we headed back to the Cabbge to get the car (but not before a celebratory drink). Some lively banter with Toffees and Reds, and then we were off - or would have been if Min hadn't insisted on going to the best chippy in Merseyside. Well, aal aah can say is that his memory of F&C shops has suffered due to his travels to NZ. It was the worst service I have ever had in a take-away of any sort. Fast food? The "fast" was right - not in speed but in not eating for a long time. And when it eventually arrived, they'd run oot o' butta for the chip butties ;-) Do yersel's a favour next time you're in the Anfield area. Give it a miss.

Hopefully Min and Sting caught the train back to Lahndaan. Great to see you fellas. Next week in the Straabeery! #1 son despatched chez friend for the next leg of his roond-the-world trip - Coventry via Brum, and Dougal deposited safely in Consett. Ee - what a canny day!!

-- Anonymous, October 27, 2001

Answers

A Powburn Production

-- Anonymous, October 27, 2001

Damn - sounds like I missed another great day out! Anyway, thanks for the report Screach.

-- Anonymous, October 28, 2001

Ta Screach. I was in Yorkshire until Saturday night. Got half time score while at top of York Minster - 275 steps - nuff said.

A lad walked up after I'd rung off and asked score - Geordies here, Geordies there, Geordies way up in the air.

-- Anonymous, October 28, 2001

I was driving down to see the Quireboys in Nottingham on Saturday afternoon and couldn't get any match reports so I didn't know the result. Then at the gig, Geordie singer Spike said "this song's for Newcastle United - 3-1 win today!" I got a few funny looks when I started leaping up and down cheering.

-- Anonymous, October 29, 2001

Spent the weekend in Copenhagen with a big Toffees fan, both of us plus wives at a wedding. His missus got the scores texted over. Rotten bu..er didn't tell me that we had gone 2 up until they pulled 1 back. However, I knew already 'cos number one son rang me on my mobile. But I didn't get the final score until an hour after the game, when said Toffee fan owned up. I promised not to take the p.ss out of him, but couldn't resist. So I did it every 15 minutes until 5:00am. Best wedding I've ever been to, and first one I actually enjoyed. Wonder why. Back up to St James's next week, so hopefully normal service won't be resumed.

-- Anonymous, October 29, 2001

The best announcement I've witnessed was at the Pirates show in Mallorca, we put five past a Belgium outfit in the UEFA cup and the lead bloke (who happened to be a geordie, despite the accent) couldn't keep it to himself; wor lass and I shared a table with some jormans and they must've thought I was a right nut, first I'm explaining that the only jorman phrases I know are "Ich Lieber Dict" & "Vorsprung Durch Technik" then I going ballistic over a football triumph, then there was the wine but we don't need to go into that.

-- Anonymous, October 29, 2001