Where have all the groupers gone?

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Is the brain half empty or half full? Is there a shallow end of the pool for minnows? My typing speed is now pre-Cambrian but at least I know where I am, after 4 close calls this year. I am back in touch and want to thank everyone, especially Lars & Capnfun, who helped keep me alive this year with their efforts and well wishes. Is there a roll call or casualty list for this place or do I just refer to word association? Cheers, Oxy

-- Oxy (Oxsys@aol.com), October 26, 2001

Answers

Hi Oxy!

It's so nice to see you're doing OK.

Hawk is still here, still a prick, and still harassing people, and still using my handle (which is the reason I never post with the name "LadyLogic"). You would think after two years of that he would have gotten bored with it! Some people have no life.

I think a lot of people are still here, 65 by my last count, but not using their handles for one reason or another.

Please stay and tell us what you've been through. I'm sure you must have some insights into life and death that many of us would like to hear. I sure would.

-- (Mary @Putnam .Jacobi), October 26, 2001.


Hiya Oxy!

Glad to see you are back online. Howareya? There have been lots of well wishes and greetings for you in the interim. Is your email good again?

-- Aunt Bee (Aunt__Bee@hotmail.com), October 26, 2001.


Good to see you here, don't post a pic of yourself though, sumer learned the hard way. :(

-- (sosad@sadsap.net), October 26, 2001.

Our original concerns long forgotten, some of us still hang out in the hopes of finding intelligent life around here somewhere. Don't worry about your typing, though. Trust me, long-winded and carefully constructed messages are no better than cryptic one-liners at penetrating through to the deliberately obtuse.

Let us know your thoughts.

-- Flint (flintc@mindspring.com), October 26, 2001.


Sweetie,

Aunt Bee and Flint still use their old handles. :o)

Please, babe, you have been through something most of us won't know about until we go through it. Do you have the time and ability to tell us the important points?

Please don't tax yourself, I want you to grow strong. I know we will learn sooner or later. (Hopefully much later! [Except for Hawk, of course.])

-- (Mary @Putnam .Jacobi), October 26, 2001.



Damn girl it's good to see you! Welcome to the Wild Wild West, beware of the trolls.

-- Uncle Deedah (unkeeD@yahoo.com), October 26, 2001.

The addy is real. Thanks for signing on to this thread. Please forgive any typos or premature ending of my response. It is a challenge to relearn this skill.

I am humbled by your request for sharing any insights over my experience. I will do my best, but remember this may just be stuff I had to learn myself from the past year, and you may not be able to shut me up.

I have about a million bits of ah-hah's from my accident, I will share maybe 15 now and add more later if they evolve. You are welcome to share life-threatening insights with me, too.

(For those who dont know, I was a woman with a brain tumor, no big deal, not easily fixed but probably not cancer, who gave thanks to God in prayers that I had avoided drunk drivers, and two weeks later got whacked as a pedestrian by a drunk in a van, breaking head, back, pelvis, rib, leg, liver, spleen etc. A drunk with no money, on top of it all. I bear no hatred, only sadness over the suffering and changes, but I have learned a lot.)

A portion:

1. Two sides of the coin -- Caution is underrated. It IS healthy to keep an eye out for the wolf, the drunk behind the wheel, the airplane in the window, AND celebrate with joy as you prepare and live life as a warrior for whatever passion you honor.

2. It is good to have a mom or a son, etc. The pain in the ass can still bring a heating pad. And you wind up wondering who was the real pain in the ass.

3. Death is not necessarily scary, even if you once were sure it must be. Sometimes you go to a place without pain, with rich colors, great experiences, and then come back to find you were just in the waiting room to eternity.

4. Your friends, visible and invisible, are precious, precious, precious.

5. Even in their rage, cyberbuds can speak thru shredded hearts and offer mental caviar.

6. Take nothing for granted, not vision, not language, not next year, not the next hour, not memory, not knees, legs, taste, smell, affection, loyalty, pets, clear weather, pictures, passports, paperwork, free country, a penny, a dollar, justice, your entitlement, fair play, housing, understanding, warm water, even plain water.

7. Believe there are miracles, even when you dont see them.

8. MINE your joy in the midst of it all, and suck it all up.

9. The world is full of atrocities. YOU are the fulcrum that can change it back to passion or peak -- search for the alchemy of perception and action that could make it so.

10. God exists, even when he is hiding and you can prove he does not exist. A glowing angel will step out in front of the assholes to save you when you least expect it.

11. Pain is a bitch. We need to declare war on pain.

12. Denial in the right dose will keep you fighting beyond your expectations and can save your life.

13. Keep a backup person in the wings to refuse to pull the plug when they all want to do it to you.

14. Humor in the face of death, fear and suffering is pretty cool.

15. Some things have no apparent answer. Keep going, keep staying, keep praying.

16. If others pray for you, it works in dramatic and subtle ways. Lobby, lobby, lobby for help.

17. There is another way to do it, look at it, make it better. Look for the cavalry but keep experimenting on your own, too.

18. Be good, Merge with life and keep your lights on.

-- Oxy (Oxsys@aol.com), October 26, 2001.


Best possible news is having you back Oxy. I liked #1 best. Love, C.

-- Carlos (riffraff@cybertime.net), October 26, 2001.

Welcome back, Oxy!

-- helen (and@the.gang), October 26, 2001.

Hi Oxy, it's good to see you posting again.

Flak shields up?

Helen, are you just getting in, or just waking up? 8^)

-- KoFE (your@town.USSA), October 26, 2001.



wow oxy, you got i spirit lady!!! the last time we chatted was in bok's.

amazing what faith can do!!

-- al-d. (dogs@zianet.com), October 27, 2001.


Oxy-God Bless. You have always been in my thoughts and prayers.

I retired from the forum in April, but came back because of a message from the Pisces full moon in Early September. That full moon also seemed utterly important to me for reasons unknown at the time, but were revealed on 9/11/2001.

You know I live and work close to ground zero, and I am letting you know that, beyond the gaping psychic wounds my wife and I are okay.

-- FutureShock (gray@matter.think), October 27, 2001.


What a kindness, your reponse, Shock. I now remember I was in communication with you right before the accident, but much of all that memory was erased for nearly a year because of the severe injuries I received. That goes for a few others, too. I am sorry I never responded to some of the queries.

It is amazing what a disappearance from and then return to this forum of minds can show you. Despite its rough and unseemly edge, this place is a site for some genuine dancing of the minds. That we honor the mystical energy that sometimes accompanies our thoughts is an added bonus.

I want to include a poem I wrote recently here for another person on the forum who has helped me this past year, but in a larger sense it also expresses the connection those of us here share when we mix our ideas. Sometimes groups of souls just like to orbit around each other. Well, some of us, at least... and this poem reminds me of those people here, too.

You are

mental floss.

Inside shifts

you bring me

clear gifts

Connect me to

intricate clarity

Return me to

the gemstone in a grape

diamond in the web

virgin igloo air draped in breath...

A puzzle of light

we are

mending friends,

The warm gauze

of a comet greeting itself

around the bend...

Candle flight

Candle gloss

Candle blend.

-- Oxy (Oxsys@aol.com), October 27, 2001.


Oh stop being so hard on yourself Flint. Somedays you are able to put together a cohesive sentence or two.

-- Jimmy Giggles (barrell@full.monkeys), October 27, 2001.

Great to see you, Oxy. I see that I had underestimated the typing ability of Cambrians.

-- David L (bumpkin@dnet.net), October 27, 2001.


Oxy, may we share your wonderful list with others? It is good hard- won wisdom, and may touch someone at the right time.

Blessings on your healing, and your indomitable spirit.

-- Firemouse (firemouse@here.andthere), October 27, 2001.


Good to see you again, Oxy. Welcome back.

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), October 27, 2001.

Wow...you have learned a LOT! Thanks for taking the time to post that. I'll be looking forward to the next installment - whenever you get the time.

My favorites were these; in this order:

8. MINE your joy in the midst of it all, and suck it all up.

11. Pain is a bitch. We need to declare war on pain.

3. Death is not necessarily scary, even if you once were sure it must be. Sometimes you go to a place without pain, with rich colors, great experiences, and then come back to find you were just in the waiting room to eternity.

4. Your friends, visible and invisible, are precious, precious, precious. (The only difference is, I think friends that are visible are precious, precious, precious.)

6. Take nothing for granted, not vision, not language, not next year, not the next hour, not memory, not knees, legs, taste, smell, affection, loyalty, pets, clear weather, pictures, passports, paperwork, free country, a penny, a dollar, justice, your entitlement, fair play, housing, understanding, warm water, even plain water.

12. Denial in the right dose will keep you fighting beyond your expectations and can save your life.

5. Even in their rage, cyberbuds can speak thru shredded hearts and offer mental caviar.

15. Some things have no apparent answer.

17. There is another way to do it, look at it, make it better. Look for the cavalry but keep experimenting on your own, too.

18. Be good, Merge with life and keep your lights on.

You've got some great stuff here, babe. I can identify with a lot of it because there was a time when I thought I was going to die. I had an idiosyncratic reaction to Soma, so my suffering wasn't anywhere near the degree of yours. However, it had a dramatic effect on me none-the-less. Now, I think the brain is half full, and there is no shallow end of the pool for minnows. ;o)

As my darling husband says, "Feed the flowers, not the weeds."

-- (Mary@Putnam .Jacobi), October 27, 2001.


Oxy!!!!

What a pleasant surprise, good news is often such an elusive commodity.God bless ya hon, great to see ya back on the board.

-- capnfun (capnfun1@excite.com), October 27, 2001.


Hello Oxy. It's wonderful to have you back. =)

-- (cin@cin.cin), October 27, 2001.

Wow it is good to hear from you all ... more, more, please, please! The real test will be when I try to hold up my share of the arguments. No more minnow area, huh?

Firemouse -- yes of course you can share this stuff. it might be a good idea to attribute it to Oxsys, as these points do not come with an extended warranty, and those who might apply them will want to find the proper party to blame for any results. Heh.

-- Oxy (Oxsys@aol.com), October 27, 2001.


I dunno about the groupers but theres still a bunch of us that hang out here fer the halibut : )

-- capnfun (capnfun1@excite.com), October 27, 2001.

Oxy--

Your financial woes are over. With a minimum of polishing, copyright your 18 points and submit them to Hallmark. Combined with the right artwork, Hallmark could make a poster and sell it for $25.00, easy. I think there will be a good market for inspirational words (not schmaltz) for a long time to come. The market for cynical words ended on 9/11/01.

I know I will save them.

-- (lars@indy.net), October 27, 2001.


The Hell with the groupers. Send in the groupies.

-- (lars@indy.net), October 27, 2001.

Ok so your back and I had time to think about this. Why the hell should I care if you are back. Who gives a crap. Hawk has harrased me and not ONE of you has stood up to defend me. Why should I care if you all died? I guess I should not. I am done with unc's Fuck this place.

-- (Mary@Putnam .Jacobi), October 27, 2001.

Mary, Mary, quite contrary, who are you really?

-- (Who@are.you), October 27, 2001.

Flint aka Lady Logic is in one of his/her moods again. We all love you flinty/laura, just take a couple of days off and do come back again.

-- wowsy (wowsyj@tunabeech.com), October 27, 2001.

i'm gonna get bumped offline if i try to type at this time of day, but here goes...

Could feel this coming on about an hour before she posted, and i wanted to make this point first. (I could feel her upset even before she wrote anything, while I was offline.)

So here goes. Do me a favor and pretend you are reading this before the outburst... I had intended to hurry up and say it a few hours ago. I may be coming in on the wrong wing of the plane here, but it was sticking in my mind that this list of insights would never have happened on this thread if it hadnt been for Mary Putham-J. It was at her urging that I sat down yesterday and pulled them out of myself. I am so much more the richer. If anyone benefits from any of these points, remember they were born from my sad lessons but also only because of her prodding this weekend; So thank you Mary, regardless of your perception now.

-- Oxy (Oxsys@aol.com), October 27, 2001.


Whatever oxy Now I wish you had not come back at all. Keep your self rightous crap to your self. I have no need for it and no one else here does. Go get fucked.

-- (Mary@Putnam .Jacobi), October 27, 2001.

Oxy, you're wrong. I am not, and was not upset. That was not me. Hawk has been imitating me for two fucking years and if some of you can't tell the difference then I guess there's nothing I can do about it...yet. It makes me sad that you thought it was me, but I understand. After all, I have been known to turn the air blue on occasion. :o)

All right, Hawk, your time is coming if I can help it. Remember that "For Hawk only" thread I posted? I left a special little something for you in there, and it's only a matter of time, you stinkin' bastard.

PLEASE, don't anyone else click on it again!

One more thing, Oxy. I think Lars is right. Although I would love to read your next installment I think your insights could be a GREAT commercial success. I would certainly buy it. However, I think it would be better as one of those little books they sell on the counter of bookstores. Do you know the kind I'm talking about? It's up to you, babe. But, I'm sure you could use the money and it might work into a nice little outlet for you.

-- (my @handle doesn't .matter), October 27, 2001.


Oxy,

I am so glad to see you back. You must have accepted some powerful medicine/mojo to brave wading back into the depths. From my heart to yours -

As ever,

-- flora (***@__._), October 27, 2001.


Unfortunately, a lot of innocent but curious observers clicked on Laura's "for Hawk only" thread, and followed the link to see what was going on. Most of them were blessed with a boot sector virus. If anyone had any doubts about whether or not Laura is a seriously deranged and dangerous person, that should clear things up for you.

-- She's dangerous (stay away@from.her), October 27, 2001.

Wow -- Oxy, it's wonderful to see you back here!! Keep takin' good care of yourself, girl, and stick around. I really missed you.

-- Eve (eve_rebekah@yahoo.com), October 28, 2001.

Oxy, (contin? is a reference?) - I can't place you but you ring through as clear as Waterford crystal to me? Welcome back and many sympathies! You are so so so so right about an angel coming thru... I hope yours was perfect.

Love is the greatest of these.

-- lisa (lisa@work.now), October 29, 2001.


That isn't Lisa. That's Laura impostering Lisa.

-- (Lisa doesn't@post here.anymore), October 29, 2001.

impostering !! I love that word.

I had the label Oxsys long before I was plastered with Oxycontin for the back fractures. Actually, morphine above the clouds in a lear jet air ambulance (especially sweet when you are broke on top of it all) was even more soothing. There ARE peak experiences just when you least expect them...

Oxsys is a sort of blend between oxygen systems, Greek fire and some unknown quantity. On this planet, at least. I do my best to wear the i.d. tag right side up. There is a bigger meaning to it, but I am waiting for Flint to explain it all.

-- Oxy (Oxsys@aol.com), October 29, 2001.


"...I am waiting for Flint to explain it all."

Could there ever be more bittersweet words in the English language? ;-)

-- Little Nipper (canis@minor.net), October 29, 2001.


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