Boys

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Oh boys! I wouldn't want a world without them, but they are a whole different story than girls! I recently received a review of a book by Dr. James Dobson called. "Bringing Up Boys", this looks like a great book. So if you get a chance to read it, let us know what it is like.

Anyone having any hints ot tips on boy-raisng please post them.

Here is an excerpt from the article: "If character training is the primary goal of parenting, and I believe it is, then the best way to instill it is through the demeanor and behaviour of the father. Idenification with him is a far more efficient teacher than lecturing, scolding, punishing, bribing, and cajoling. Boys watch their Dads intently, noting every detail of behaviour and values."

Now many children today are being raised without fathers, but I feel you can have as an example a grandfather, uncle or other stable figure in the child's life also!

-- Melissa (cmnorris@1st.net), October 23, 2001

Answers

Melissa~ My boys are only 13, 9 &7, so I am still raising, but I have made an effort to be affectionate with my boys. So many men are unable to show affection because it's not "manly". I want my boys to be affectionate with their wives and children and am constantly modeling this behavior to them. Of course, they hate when Dad and Mom kiss, but I want them to see affection between us too. Also, tell them they look good, are strong, etc.. Boys are bothered by low self-esteem same as girls. I always tell them how handsome they are, smart and nice to others. I also spend a lot of time saying "Stop wrestling! or "Please put some clothes on!" My two younger boys have no modesty at all.

-- Ivy in NW AR (balch84@cox-internet.com), October 23, 2001.

We raised 3 boys and 1 girl. We love them all dearly, but I would rather raise boys any day.

-- Barb Fischer (bfischer42@hotmail.com), October 23, 2001.

I would rather raise 10 boys than one girl! I can handle the wrestling, snakes in the jean pockets, etc. Until you've had a teenage female in the house, you don't know what chaos is!

-- Ardie from WI (ardie54965@hotmail.com), October 23, 2001.

I have just the opposte situation, my 3 girls are just angels, and one will soon be 15, so she has been a teenager for a while! They are so good and kind, they will do anything and never cause me a moments problem.

Now my son on the other hand! Oh boy. He is very sweet most of the time. But he says things that make you want to crawl under a rock!! I always say he is just TOO MUCH. He is noisy, always inventing new things, always wanting more attention!!!! He has energy to burn and when I see the girls nicely reaidng books and playing the piano ,I could have 20 of them.

But Brady will be racing down the road 50mph on his 10 speed without his helmet, or throwing the kitten up in the air to see if he can catch her, or riding the horse bare-back across the yard as fast as he can. Or trying to see how much water he can splash out of the pool, or building 2 story play houses with all the scrap lumber and climbing up in them (is this safe>... I don't think so!!) or climbing 30 feet into the top of a tree to tie a rope swing. Oh I could just go on and on!!!!!!!!!! He is so dangerous he makes my heart hurt!!!! Please bear in mind I am just kidding here (somewhat, all of these things truly happened), because I love him with all my heart. I just hope he can get through chilhood, ALIVE!

-- Melissa (me@home.net), October 23, 2001.


My son is 5 almost 6 and his father has never been a part of his life,but he has the most wonderful grandpa and 5 of the most wonderful uncles,not to mention my cousins who all come and do all kinds of things with him.Some think it is horrible that he doesn't have a father, but knowing what kind of person he has become I feel fortunate. I go out of my way to do everything with him or show him how to do it. We practice our bows and practice sneaking up on that big buck. We go fishing all the time. Many times you could drive up and see 2 brave Indians(paint, dress, headdress,teepee and all) in the back yard, or come upon a cowboy camp in the north forty.! I love playing and exploring with him. We go to the cowboy and indian museum close by and have a blast. I am not for sure what I would do with a girl. Even my daycare kids are all boys. This summer I had 10!I would say boys are easier than girls, but what do I know I just started this!I'll let you know in about 15 years!-God Bless

-- Micheale from SE Kansas (mbfrye@totelcsi.net), October 23, 2001.


Um, Melissa? Um, would you like us to come visit? (REALLY big smile, covers whole face) I'm SURE my four boys will help Brady with MANY new ideas he never DREAMED of!!! We had a 2 storey play house made of ROTTED scrap wood. Our boys climb trees, the higher the better. Each boy has taken a turn falling out of one. One got a broken wrist, one landed on his back and had dizzy spells for a year afterwards, one caught his leg on a barbed-wire fence on the way down, one lay on the couch for an hour asking, "What happened? Why am I lying down?" over and over. But they can see the trains three fields away so much better from up in a tree! And when the seven- year-old learned to ride his bike up and down the driveway with no hands, ALL the boys had to try it--riding as fast as possible. Jumping out of the treehouse into a pile of leaves is real fun, too (they got that idea from my brother, the perpetual boy with two boys of his own). And what about rolling one of those round hay bales down the hill--could a person stay on top of one while it's rolling? Glad I was there to say don't even think about it.

Then there is the family coming to our church with all the 8 boys they have left at home (two boys and ONE girl are out on their own). One of the older boys was cutting a tree down one day, with a crowd of boys IN THE TREE!!! The mom let out a yell and all the boys climbed down. "But Mom, this is fun! We've already ridden 3 or 4 trees down!"

By the way, how's Brady's arm?

-- Cathy N. (keeper8@attcanada.ca), October 23, 2001.


I did not mean to start a debate between boys or girls. I imagine it is probably just a difference in what kind of activites you enjoy, as to which you will feel more comfortable with. Now my son likes to help bake, and I love to take walks with him exploring deer paths, and watching him build all of his elaborate structures. I spend a lot of time encouraging him in his interests (he goes through phases like certain kinds of blocks, mazes, dinasaurs, now it is horses) I am not at all saying he is a troublesome child, he isn't. But I think the point the book is trying to make is that boys and girls are different, and we are raisng a generation of young men who don't know their place, who aren't facing up to their responsibilities and it is up to us as parents to start changing this. Beginning at home and following through in the schools and churches and as they grow older.

-- Melissa (me@home.net), October 23, 2001.

I don't know Cathy, I think you had better just stay in Canada!!!! He doesn't need any help coming up with new ideas!!! Just Kidding... (I think)

His arm is doing fine, just 6 days left in the long cast which is looking pretty grimy by now, and then he will spend 2 weeks in a short cast. The orthopedic surgeon said he should heal up as good as new.

Have your boys ever tried to walk on rolling barrels??? Kadia had a broken wrist from this and can tell them everything not to do!!

-- Melissa (me@home.net), October 23, 2001.


Oh my goodness, what a subject, we could go on and on. I've raised quite a few myself, they're all different, right now my once painfully modest 13 yr old has become less modest since playing football and how in the world do you get them to stop tinkling on the seat, he didn't do this previously. My husband told him to sit down on the potty in the morning. I make him clean it up every time, withold privelages etc. nothing has seemed to fase him, he already cleans the bathroom by himself. Our youngest is a girl and it's a new avenue for me altogether, the clothes and hair thing!

-- Carol in Tx (cwaldrop@peoplescom.net), October 23, 2001.

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