Joke! Joke!greenspun.com : LUSENET : A Village Commons : One Thread
A man and his son work a one mule farm. It's hard work, they barely scrape by, day after day, week in, week out. But, the old man keeps at it, with the help of his son.
One day the son wins the lottery! FIFTY MILLION DOLLARS! So he goes in to town to pick up his winnings.
He comes back to the dirt farm he grew up on, walks up to his father, and says, "Pa, I want you to know I appreciate how hard you have worked all these years, to keep the old place going, and I want to share my good fortune with you." And he hands the old man a fifty dollar bill.
The old man looks at the fifty dollar bill in his callused, work worn hands, and says to his son, "You know, boy, I never spent no money on whiskey ner wimmin ner any kinda tom-foolin' around. Heck, I never even had the money to buy yer maw a weddin' license."
The son, goggle eyed, yells out, "PA! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MAKES ME?"
And the old man replies, "Sure do. En a durn cheap 'un, too."
-- Sojourner (email@example.com), October 22, 2001
I am going to put up a gold star by your name.
-- mitch hearn (firstname.lastname@example.org), October 23, 2001.
Probably the same two farmers. One day, one of their mules goes cross eyed. They call the vet, because the mule can't plow a straight line. Vet comes out, says he's been seeing this going around. Vet inserts a long piece of surgical tubing into the mule's rectum, then blows on the end of the tubing. Boing! The mule's eyes straighten right up.
Vet says, "that'll be fifty bucks, thank you very much."
A week later, another mule's eyes go all crossed. Father says, "I ain't payin' that dern vet another fifty bucks", and grabs a water hose, one end of which he inserts in the mule's rectum. He blows and blows, puffs and puffs, but the best he can do is get the mule's eyes to wiggle back and forth--they won't stay straight.
Finally the son, frustrated at his dad's inability to do the job, says, "get outta here; let me try it!"
He pulls the hose out of the mule's butt, and sticks the other end into it. The dad says, "what in sam hill are you doing?!"
Son says, "Hell's bells, you don't expect me to put my mouth where yours was, do you?"
-- jumpoff joe (email@example.com), October 23, 2001.