Around the supper table

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I was speaking to my married daughter yesterday on the telephone and she mentioned to me that "for the first time in a long while, we all sat down at the table for supper." I asked her what she meant because we always sit together at the supper table, and I mean always. She told me that she and her husband were "too busy" and that their 3 year old gets fed at the table and then they eat while he is off playing. I was horrified! No, it's not the end of the world, but I cannot understand how one of my kids could drop a family tradition without a thought. Everyone sitting together at the family table for supper is a fast-fading occurance it seems. It is a wonderful time to come together as a real family; when folks can hear about everyone's day; can give each other praise or encouragemnt; and to just block out the rest of the world for a short time, concentrating only on one another. It's a time to teach even young children to be patient, take their turn, be generous and not grab the last potato, let others speak without interruption, give thanks to God for the blessings of good food, and to learn table manners. There are so many parents nowdays who do not have a clue what is going on in their children's minds and one reason is simply that they do not share enough time with them. I cannot imagine how I would ever have picked up on some of my children's worries if we did not have that time at the supper table every night. I hope that for those of you younger folks on the forum,if you have not made that effort to join each other at the supper table yet, that you consider doing so. There are few things more important than knowing your children

-- lesley (martchas@bellsouth.net), October 22, 2001

Answers

Yes, dinner is sacred at our house too! Sometimes the children finish way before we do and ask to be excused--we say no--tell us about your day, etc..

Also, we have a calendar that has biblical trivia and they like to take turns being the one to ask the questions. They have learned alot that way.

They are supposed to set table and help bus table afterwards.

When they leave home--you realized how wonderful those dinners were.

-- Ann Markson (tngreenacres@hotmail.com), October 22, 2001.


We always eat meals together! Even if it is just a sanwich, everyone eats at he same time. It is a good opportunity to talk together at the end of a busy day.

-- Melissa (me@home.net), October 22, 2001.

There have been times,especially during harvest where we have eaten at 11pm, just so we could all eat together.I think it shows that family comes first. That family cares and family will always be there. I can not remember very many times we all did eat together. If Dad was working fence, we took it to him, or snacked until he came home.I love my family and sometimes this is the only time we get to talk without working so enjoy each other. You never know what tomorrow will bring or how long we have together.God Bless

-- Micheale from SE Kansas (mbfrye@totelcsi.net), October 22, 2001.

When i was fifteen , i was always out of the house, at a friends and never with my family. Pretty much, i stayed out of their way, and they stayed somewhat out of mine. But ever since God has been working in my life, i DOO find a desire to be with my family, know my siblings before i am out of the house and develope a good relationship with my family. Just in the past year or so, my mom and i have become close friends, because of time we have sat down to talk. It was always hard to talk to my parents , because we were never on mutual grounds, i was lower, they were higher. i was rebellious, and they didn't want me to be (big surprise). But by Gods grace, its been easier to want to be with my family. we're still not always together, but i'm home 85% of the time instead of 25%. Family is SOO Important.

-- jillian (sweetunes483@yahoo.com), October 22, 2001.

My children have a rule (their rule, not one we made for them) about "tangled strings". Basically, if two people are talking across the table, imagine a string connecting them. If two other people want to talk, THEIR string is not allowed to intersect or "get tangled" in the string of those already talking. You wait your turn or talk to somebody next to you. They say that everything gets very confusing if too many strings cross each other. So now, if the noise level gets too high, I say, "Tangled strings!" And everything quiets down again.

Also, we have had a glorious 13 months of Dad home for supper almost every night. When we lived in NY state, he worked for Agway; they had him doing A LOT of overtime. The pay was nice, but sometimes the children didn't see daddy before going to bed, much less have him at the supper table. Since Tom became a pastor, we have not only had him home for supper, but also for breakfast, lunch, and home school. He has taken over math and science for the older boys. Tonight we had a problem that I would normally have had to deal with alone, even though I was tired and feeling stressed. He came and handled the situation for me. Later I hugged him, and said, "Good to have you home." He knew what I meant.

-- Cathy N. (keeper8@attcanada.ca), October 22, 2001.



I agree that meal times should be family time. So many families today are too busy to sit down together for a meal and that is so sad. When I was growing up, my family always ate together. My husband's did not. The kids ate alone and they never put the food on the table, it was a "serve yourself from the stove" type thing, more like a cafeteria, eat, get up and run. They lost so much from this and I've had to train my husband in table manners that he never learned growing up! I continue to do this to this day even though there are only the two of us now. Times my inlaws are over my mother- in-law tries to talk me into saving time and doing her "serve from the stove thing" but I refuse and I think they actually enjoy sitting at the table together and passing things and having a good conversation.

-- Barb in Ky. (bjconthefarm@yahoo.com), October 23, 2001.

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