No messing about: how many minutes does it take to score in the top flight?:

Player	App	Mins	Gls	Pens	TotGls	App/Gl	Min/Gl	AvgPts	G/F	G/A
Cole	58	5196	43	0	43	1.35	120.84	1.95	2.00	0.93
Ferdinand	68	5855	41	0	41	1.66	142.80	1.96	1.87	1.03
Allen	10	786	3	2	5	2.00	157.20	1.50	1.70	1.30
Shearer	141	12255	55	17	72	1.96	170.21	1.43	1.45	1.23
Cort	13	1098	6	0	6	2.17	183.00	1.23	1.08	1.23
Mathie	25	864	4	0	4	6.25	216.00	1.80	2.24	1.20
Gavilan	7	217	1	0	1	7.00	217.00	1.43	1.29	0.86
Guivarc'h	4	230	1	0	1	4.00	230.00	0.75	1.50	2.00
Beardsley	129	11136	33	14	47	2.74	236.94	1.84	1.80	1.05
Kitson	36	2397	10	0	10	3.60	239.70	1.50	1.14	1.03
Robert	8	720	3	0	3	2.67	240.00	1.75	1.88	1.38
Ferguson	29	2055	8	0	8	3.63	256.88	1.41	1.48	1.38
Barnes	27	1869	5	1	6	4.50	311.50	1.00	1.00	1.37
Glass	42	2323	7	0	7	6.00	331.86	1.50	1.52	1.36
Asprilla	48	3145	9	0	9	5.33	349.44	1.56	1.52	1.17
Bellamy	8	706	2	0	2	4.00	353.00	1.75	1.88	1.38
Fox	58	4887	11	1	12	4.83	407.25	1.83	1.84	1.05
Hamann	23	1783	4	0	4	5.75	445.75	1.09	1.09	1.30
Andersson	27	1788	4	0	4	6.75	447.00	1.26	1.04	1.00
Solano	99	7706	14	3	17	5.82	453.29	1.28	1.41	1.48

"Go! Go! Andy Andy Cole..."

-- Anonymous, October 15, 2001

Answers

What kind of changes if we include all the other Cup compys? Well, I'm glad you asked that, Terry:

Player	App	Mins	Gls	Pens	Tot Gls	App/Gl	Min/Gl	AvgPts	G/F	G/A
Cole	72	6408	56	0	56	1.29	114.43	1.99	2.08	0.94
Ferdinand	83	7112	50	0	50	1.66	142.24	1.92	1.92	1.02
Allen	13	1032	4	3	7	1.86	147.43	1.62	2.23	1.31
Shearer	183	16078	77	19	96	1.91	167.48	1.54	1.53	1.19
Cort	15	1226	7	0	7	2.14	175.14	1.33	1.13	1.13
Bellamy	16	1335	7	0	7	2.29	190.71	2.13	2.19	1.19
Gavilan	8	218	1	0	1	8.00	218.00	1.63	1.38	0.75
Ferguson	40	2720	12	0	12	3.33	226.67	1.60	1.68	1.28
Guivarc'h	4	230	1	0	1	4.00	230.00	0.75	1.50	2.00
Kitson	49	3251	14	0	14	3.50	232.21	1.51	1.20	1.02
Asprilla	60	4042	16	1	17	3.53	237.76	1.63	1.58	1.15
Beardsley	161	13974	38	20	58	2.78	240.93	1.83	1.86	1.06
Mathie	29	1092	4	0	4	7.25	273.00	1.79	2.10	1.17
Jeffrey	5	294	1	0	1	5.00	294.00	1.40	1.80	1.00
Robert	10	930	3	0	3	3.33	310.00	2.00	2.00	1.20
Saha	12	692	2	0	2	6.00	346.00	1.50	1.42	1.33
Ameobi	36	2078	6	0	6	6.00	346.33	1.42	1.47	1.25
Lua Lua	32	754	2	0	2	16.00	377.00	1.44	1.47	1.34
Robinson P	16	384	1	0	1	16.00	384.00	0.88	1.69	2.00
Dalglish	13	776	2	0	2	6.50	388.00	1.23	1.23	1.31

Look at all those youngsters creeping in at the bottom!

-- Anonymous, October 15, 2001

Diego Gavilan is quite high up and Sit Les has taken Big Al to the cleaners with these stats.

I fully expected Cole at the top though, who else could top the list?

Great stats though Softie, you should try and get them published.

-- Anonymous, October 15, 2001

Softie wants to copyright this stuff before some foul fiend knacka nicks it.

-- Anonymous, October 15, 2001

They'd have to explain how they got the same errors (bound to be some - I've only been cross-checking them since the redoubtable Jacko sent me some appearance info from a second source).

I need to check through all the programmes some day as a final control on it. The minutes for 1993-94 and 1994-95 aren't as accurate as the later ones since I don't have the times of substitutions and had to opt for the average of those where I did have the times. It'll do for me though.

-- Anonymous, October 15, 2001

Guivarc'h, what class

-- Anonymous, October 15, 2001

I think Guivarc'h was in the bottom class ;-)

-- Anonymous, October 15, 2001

What does redoubtable mean Softie? It sounds rude.

-- Anonymous, October 15, 2001

You see Softie, don't worry about the errors or lack of it's the lovely colours and the way you have an footiometer to measure such stuff, neh body'll check it;-) Wasted talent though, should be working for Mori or what ever!

-- Anonymous, October 15, 2001

Stats mean nowt, depending on your view of course! Cole had the benefit of the Keegan era when everyone was supplying him, Shearer at the start saw some of that, but for the past few seasons has been working his nuts off (when fit) with buggar all supply for little reward.

Are we really saying Cole is a better goal-scorer then Shearer?If you could only turn the tables, and put Shearer in under Keegan and Cole in under Dalglish, Gullitt and YBR, then you would see Cole in his true light.

-- Anonymous, October 16, 2001

Crikey, somebody's taking it seriously Softie ;-)

I don't suppose your little wizzard can do some analysis on the basis Nick suggests? If not, you'll have gone down in my estimation. And while you're at it, what if Ron McGary and Wyn Davies were re-incarnated itno YBR's team??

-- Anonymous, October 16, 2001

I DO take it seriouly Screach as it's the best bit of research (only bit?) I've ever seen on comparative stats. It's good fun, and enlightening

However, as someone better than me once said, you should use statistics like a drunk uses a lamppost, more for support than illumination

-- Anonymous, October 16, 2001

I'm not saying he is the better striker, nick, the clue is in the title:

Prolific adj 1. producing a constant creative output 2. producing fruit or offspring in abundance 3. Rich or fruitful

Now I'll grant you that Shearer is richer :-) but has he produced as constant a flow of goals in the premiership as Cole did? Nope. I would like to have seen what Cole would have made of a partnership with Ferdinand, Ginola, Gillespie, Lee and Beardsley making chances and space for him.

-- Anonymous, October 16, 2001

Fair dos Nick!

Softie - obviously your stats only show the goals scored at Newcastle. It would be interesting, but I don't suppose you have the time :-( to look at the records of (say) Shearer, Cole, Ferdinand and Beardsley (the strikers with the highest number of appearances for us) over their entire top-flight careers. Then perhaps we could see how good they all were, tho of course I'd also accept that in the same way as comparing Shearer and Cole in different Newcastle teams, the supply is a major factor.

Ah well, something for those dark nights in Monkseaton?? Tho I could suggest the pub instead, just up the road in Earsdon!

-- Anonymous, October 16, 2001

Te mur i look at this te mur i think a name may have been omitted. My Lord.

-- Anonymous, October 16, 2001

Ketsy comes in at 22 right after JDT.

-- Anonymous, October 16, 2001

Do you do stats for running round in circles? It must be a close thing between Kets and Rob Lee.

-- Anonymous, October 16, 2001

Can you do stats for hair mass?

I'm not sure whether Acuna, Keegan or Darren Peacock had the heaviest hair.

-- Anonymous, October 17, 2001

Softie, I'm about to be redoubtable. Have you got stats for height? Can you do a goals per inch comparison? It's a pity you can't do headed goals per inch because I have this theory that little blokes would do well out of that. You see big blokes never learn to jump properly because they were always biggest at school and never had to whereas little blokes have put real effort in. Do your stats also have shoe size in them - what is the optimum foot size for a goalscorer? Are big feet better for a defender for tripping purposes?

Come on marra - there is still much to be done!!

-- Anonymous, October 17, 2001

Redoubtable = feared and respected.

Whatever you say Jacko, although I don't have the heights of all the players. I'll have to do it for all those that I have, although I somehow feel that with Shearer at 6', Cole at 5'10" and Sir Les at 5'11" that we already know the answer to this one! Unfortunately I have yet to compile goal types (other than pens and open play) or playmaker and assist. It's only a matter of time and madness however :-0

-- Anonymous, October 17, 2001

Jacko, it's 70.84 inches for goals from open play. About 5'10 2/3"...

-- Anonymous, October 17, 2001

Softie, you are without any shadow of a doubt, the saddest bastard it has ever been my good fortune to encounter!!!!

-- Anonymous, October 17, 2001

He made that up.

-- Anonymous, October 17, 2001

I wish I had Josh...

-- Anonymous, October 18, 2001