As I mentioned somewhere along the line, my oldest daughter went off to test the waters in California and brought her snake over for me to watch while she is gone. Ekans is quite a passive boa constrictor about four feet long and about four inches wide in his "belly area." I had snakes when the kids were little, but they were the "garden snake" variety that my Uncle captured before he chopped them up with his lawn mower. I found them quite enjoyable to watch. Ekans is BORING in comparison.

I was given instructions on how warm he needs to be day and night [instructions I can't live up to without heating myself out of my own home], and instructions on how I'd notice when he was hungry, which was supposed to be about once/week. It was almost two weeks that Ekans laid curled up inside his log yesterday when I decided to exercise him. "For Pete's sake, Ekans, you REALLY need to get out more."

I pulled him out from under his log and he was SO cold that I held him close to my body and rubbed him. He didn't seem to mind that, and grew more and more curious as to the environment. He spent a good portion of yesterday afternoon curled around the arm of my chair, poking around at the "makings" of a home computer. He ventured off onto the tower on the floor, upon which lay the headphones I use to listen. He curled around the headphones and within minutes became tangled in the wires involved [which I feared would choke him.] I disentangled him and he went back to my lap and curling around the chair leg.

Round II of his explorations led him onto the desk, circling the scanner, almost knocking off the clock, the flashlight, and just about everything else in his path. His tongue flicked at each new discovery. He finally settled on wrapping himself around the base of the monitor. I'm sure that was a warm place, and he continued to lift himself up onto the wall behind the desk, etc. All this "action" seemed quite harmless to me until I was ready to log off and wanted him back in his tank. It's not so easy to pull off a four-foot boa from a monitor where he's found comfort. Heh. I started pulling on the back end, and THAT caused him to wrap around AGAIN, coming towards me. I then started pulling from the FRONT end and FINALLY got him disengaged. He's kindof like one of those bugs that as children we referenced as "roly-polies". He curls up, even if held in the air.

I promised myself that when Ekans grew hungry I would go to the mall and purchase a new heating device to replace the microwave that Lucky set on fire last week at her place. She's called me every day, but he doesn't seem to be hungry yet.

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), October 13, 2001

Answers

M-O-O-N

that spells tom cullen

(sorry, couldnt resist) =)

-- (cin@cin.cin), October 13, 2001.

Oh gawd, Cin! You HAD to go and bring up "The Stand"!

Anita, the snake is big enough to kill you if he gets around your neck. Not kidding.

-- helen (yuck@me.out), October 13, 2001.

Helen: Heh. My brother pretty much told me the same thing today, but I've thrown him around my neck several times now and all he does is tickle it with that little tongue of his.

I didn't want to mention this [Cin, please ignore this], but Ekans is SO snill [dang...that's a Swedish word that just popped off my tongue for some reason] that he's afraid of his own food. My daughter instructed me that I'd need to "stun" the rats before I put them in the tank. I'm not looking forward to feeding him, yet I worry that he's gone so long without eating.

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), October 13, 2001.

It's a SNAKE, not a pet. Put the dingleberry rat in there and don't look. When the snake gets hungry, it'll eat. I've had friends lose their boas over the winter and find them months later hibernating in coat pockets. As if the world didn't have enough blood-sucking vermin to avoid, you gotta be fooling with a snake...

-- helen (nasty@foul.creatures), October 13, 2001.

I wouldn't worry too much Anita, they go for weeks sometimes in the wild without food. I bet a month without food will cure his "snill".

But yah, I never had snakes because of the feeding thing...not that I'm a pussy, I just like all animals too much to throw them to a certain fate. Yeah, even mice.

-- Uncle Deedah (unkeeD@yahoo.com), October 13, 2001.

Heh. Well, ya know how it goes. Some of us have mules and some of us acquire snakes for a time.

BTW, Helen, [thinking about how you give Mike full rein and all], October 12th's edition of The Far Side calendar led me to think of you. It showed a picture of a couple sitting on the couch and a duck coming out from a back room. The caption read, "Here he comes, Earl...Remember, be gentle, but firm...we are absolutely, positively, not driving him south this winter."

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), October 13, 2001.

LOL, gawd I miss Larsen.

-- Uncle Deedah (unkeeD@yahoo.com), October 13, 2001.

Hobbes too

-- Uncle Deedah (unkeeD@yahoo.com), October 13, 2001.

I've wondered many a time how I should handle the animals if we should happen to be confined indoors for a couple of weeks...like in a smallpox epidemic or a nuclear strike...and I still have no way to protect them. Mike Mule won't fit anywhere but in the dining room, and I tried to get him in there once just for practice and he freaked. He doesn't know how to use a fork, so I guess he has self-esteem issues. We already have almost as many chickens living in the house as we do outside...that's another story. I don't know why all the animals are so spoiled here. They come here unable to speak or make eye contact, but in a couple of weeks they can make themselves understood. We must be living in one weird place.

-- helen (its@in.the.water), October 13, 2001.

I know this sounds silly, but I don't want to CREATE a killer snake out of one that prefers to get his dinner served from Albertson's meat department. Ekans seems to shiver at the thought of personally killing his dinner, and so do I. Neither of us are opposed to eating it, however, if someone else has done the dirty work.

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), October 14, 2001.

Well.... you could get the mice liquored up or high and while they slept it off Ekans could grab a bite.

-- capnfun (capnfun1@excite.com), October 14, 2001.

LOL, Capn. That's the best idea yet. I think I could deal better with putting a drunk rat into his tank than I could one that I've "stunned" by whacking him first on the side of the tank. Heh. Now I buy beer for the rat. Life is just so damned amusing sometimes.

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), October 14, 2001.

"Life is just so damned amusing sometimes."

Ain't it though! It's the little trinket shit that makes the big worries in life maintainable.

"If we were'nt all crazy we would go insane"

-- capnfun (capnfun1@excite.com), October 14, 2001.

A friend of mine has a small python for a pet. Inert most of the time, but got some grit in its eye once (I think they have no eyelids) and went crazy, snapping and biting at everything in sight.

-- Peter Errington (petere7@starpower.net), October 14, 2001.

Snakes are NOT pets.

-- helen (even@I.know.that), October 14, 2001.

Adult pythons must have a natural enemy. Try putting the python in a tank with a crocodile and let's see who eats who. My money's on the croc.

-- Lars (lars@indy.net), October 15, 2001.

Ekans is a boa, not a python. I guess you don't like the cold- blooded creatures, eh, Helen? My kids grew up with snakes and other reptiles as "pets", as well as birds, fish, and various forms of "fuzzy" creatures. They're not afraid of reptiles at all. In fact, Ingrid's last reptile pet was a huge Iguana. I like Ekans a whole lot better than I liked that guy. He ate mostly fruit, but he didn't seem to like anyone but my daughter. With her, he would lay on her chest and lick her neck affectionately. With anyone else, he would lash out. Ekans seems at home with anyone, even little children, one of which tosses him around like a jump-rope.

He still doesn't seem hungry yet, although I have seen him lounging around in his pool.

Peter: I think my ex-husband suffered from that same affliction.

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), October 15, 2001.

A four-foot boa is NOT a safe playmate for a child.

-- helen retreats in horror (snakes@not.pets), October 15, 2001.

For Pete's sake, Helen. The boa and the child didn't engage in "play" without someone attending. I could say the same about a mule, ya know. "A mule is not a suitable playmate for a child." Heh.

Get over your prejudices, Helen.

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), October 15, 2001.

The kids don't go anywhere near the mule, Anita. He's MINE! MINE! MINE! When I'm not being HIS.

Snakes are not pets. Neither are mules.

-- helen (mule@slobber.for.adults.only), October 15, 2001.

Snakes are cool. But like unk, I could never feed a snake a live animal. Seems hardly fair.

I knew this guy who was particularly um...searching for the right word....psychotic? He had this huge snake and would sort of boast about what his snake could eat. I guess he started with mice and then worked his way up in size, so he says he was going to feed the snake a live kitten. But of course this guy was rather scary even without the snake.

There has always been something about snake people that I just don't like or trust. I realize this is unfair generalization, but how could someone possibly feed a live baby chick to a snake. Something wrong with that.

-- (cin@cin.cin), October 15, 2001.

The snake is one of the oldest symbols of power and of the wisdom of the unconscious. Wisdom is a risky venture; it is more than knowledge. Snakes are the creatures most unlike us. Connecting with them psychologically is difficult. According to biographer Frank McLynn, Jung liked to say that it is possible for zoologists to make a rapport with any animal, but that it is not possible with snakes. Jung would then tell a story of a man who reared a python and fed it by hand until one day, without warning, it wrapped itself around him and nearly killed him. It loosened its coils only when the man's friend hacked it to death with a hatchet. You can't control snakes or tame them -- or know them. You can only hope to live in harmony with them.

LINK

-- Lars (lars@indy.net), October 16, 2001.

Lars: It sounds like Jung hadn't yet heard of all the dogs who suddenly turned on their owners, eh?

I couldn't find the article you referenced in that link, but snakes DO tame. The garden snakes we had when the kids were little reproduced and produced 17 live babies. The birth came while we were on vacation. My uncle was snake-sitting, as well as caring for the toad and the frog. Anyway, the babies started out wild, snapping at every attempt to handle them. It didn't take long for them to realize we weren't going to hurt them.

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), October 16, 2001.

Good grief! Y'all think ONE snake might be a potential problem?

LB brought her FOUR turtles. FOUR!

Every time I try to go throught the living room now they all try to chase me down and attack me. They run in relays just like wolves chasing a caribou. I just KNOW they are meat eaters and would do me in in a flash.

We've got them in a glass jail for the moment (otherwise known as a aquarium). When last I ventured into the living room they were trying some new scheme to break out. They were shacking themselves one on top the other and the top one was leaping up for the edge of the tank.

At least I think that's what they were doing.

The other thought is too horrible to contemplate. Shudder. Dozens of little baby turtles. Double Shudder.

If they get a bunch more baby turtles made and get them to run with the pack, I'm afraid I'm done for.

So if one day I just disappear and you don't hear from me any more, you'll all know what happened.

I'm afraid I have to go with Helen on this one - reptiles are NOT pets.

/gb/

-- Greybear (greybear@worldemail.com), October 16, 2001.

How do turtles "do it"? There must be a joke in there somewhere.

-- Lars (lars@indy.net), October 16, 2001.

Lars, you need to get away from all this real, serious stuff more and spend more time with cartoons.

Have you not seen the cartoon featuring the turtle in amarous embrace with an army helment?

-- Greybear (greybear@worldemail.com), October 16, 2001.

Graybear--

I used to draw cartoons. I once did one labeled "The terrible danger to turtles of doing 69". It was a drawing of two turtles in embrace, flat-to-flat, end-to-end. Together they formed a perfect sphere, rolling faster and faster down a hill.

An Army helmet, I like that.

-- Lars (lars@indy.net), October 16, 2001.

Anita--

The words that I quoted are in the 18th paragraph down in the Fastcompany LINK.

I found the link by doing a search on "Jung + snakes", hoping to find an amusing sexual quote on snake symbolism. I came up with this instead and thought it relevant to the discussion between you and Helen.

I don't know from snakes, but am inclined to go with Helen on this one. Especially around kids.

Hmmm, Boas vs Pythons? I say put them both in the same box and let's see who eats who. (Boys love games like that).

-- Lars (lars@indy.net), October 16, 2001.

I say put them both in the same box and let's see who eats who

Heh. Didja ever see the cartoon where one snake started at the tail of another eating him while the snake HE was eating started at HIS tail eating him? The last frame was blank. They were both GONE.

I'm not interested in pets anymore that require work. I had three dogs, a chicken, a morning dove, two parakeets, three turtles, one chameleon, three mice [that turned into 8], two snakes [that turned into 19], one cat, one guinea pig, multiple fish of various species, one toad, and one tree frog at various times. Now I temporarily have my daughter's snake. My JOB is to keep it alive until she is in a position to take it back. There's no accounting for love of one particular species [or even type of species] over another. It's just there, and I don't question it. Life, afterall, is just a biological experiment.

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), October 16, 2001.

Jane had an amusing "non pet" in college. She and her freshman roommate kept axolotl in a fifteen gallon aquarium. Jane had read a horror story involving them over the previous summer and bought them on a whim. They were advertised as "Mexican water dolls", but what she didn't know is that they can have a stage of development where they metamorphisize into terrestrial creatures. One day, about this time, her roommate left the lid off the aquarium, and all three of their axolotl were gone. One was quickly found in the women's shower (by following the screams), one had been found in the hallway and rescued by a dormmate who took him in, but the other was presumed lost forever.

Two terms later, in June, Jane and her roommate were packing up and preparing for summer vacation. They picked up the tiny refrigerator they were allowed to rent from the housing department, and found, you guessed it, Alejandro the missing axolotl. They had long since given the aquarium away and didn't know what to do with the ugly thing, so they took him to a nearby creek and freeded him. The mystery of course is what he was surviving on for nearly six months.

-- Tarzan the Ape Man (tarzan@swingingthroughthejunglewithouta.net), October 16, 2001.

....as severe pollution has taken the axolotl to the brink of extinction.

I am reporting you.

-- (Petulant Petula @ PETA.pouting), October 17, 2001.

Actually, you'll have to report Jane. Eleven years ago.

The axotol is nearly extinct in its native environment, but is not illegal to own in the US. In fact, the University of Indiana has a large and thriving axotol colony. Jane says that they behave much like aquatic dogs. They tend to spend a lot of time resting on the floor of their tanks and when they notice people will come to the top of the tank for food. They will take food right out of your hand if properly trained. She swears they "sat up and begged" when she or her roommate came home from class.

-- Tarzan the Ape Man (tarzan@swingingthroughthejunglewithouta.net), October 17, 2001.

When my daughter told me that she and her friends were driving out to California, I decided that I'd cook up some hard-boiled eggs for the trip. Heh. I checked on the eggs at the appropriate time and the water hadn't even come to a boil yet. I then forgot about them and went to bed.

I was awakened by a "popping" sound. I thought, "Jeez, this house has more night noises than any other in which I've been." I hadn't yet gotten back to sleep before I heard another "pop". This time I got up to investigate and found my eggs flying around like missiles in the kitchen.

Yeah, okay...it was a mess. My real concern was how to get the hard- boiled egg off the ceiling. Today I had a guy come to stretch the carpet in one room and another guy come to clean all the carpets in the house.

To the carpet-stretcher, I asked if he would look at a burn that I'd made way back under the desk in my office. I made this burn about four years ago and have successfully kept it hidden from SO for all that time. I was a really heavy smoker at the time and had a cigarette burning in the ashtray when I needed to use the bathroom. While I went to the bathroom, the dictionary fell off the upper shelf of my desk, hit the ashtray, and knocked the cigarette to the floor, where it rolled back. I didn't notice any of this until it was too late.

First, he said, "But you're able to hide it", as I pulled a bunch of manuals and school texts off the floor under my desk. I said, "Yeah, but I can't hide it FOREVER!" He did some sortof "shaving" of the carpet and one would never know it had been burned. No charge for this one.

So, when the carpet-cleaner came, I asked him if he had any magic in his bag for removing hard-boiled egg from a ceiling. He said that he had some stuff *I* could use, and I pulled over a chair to see if I was tall enough to do the job, but I wasn't. He then said that HE could clean it up for $15.00. I said, "It's a deal." He gave me a quote on the whole rug cleaning effort of $80.00. That sounded reasonable to me, as it's a big house. I then asked him if he intended to charge tax over and above that $80.00. He said, "What I'll do is clean up the egg for $10.00, saving you the tax, and the total will still amount to $80.00.

So he presented me a bill for $71.something. I said, "Do you have change for $80?" He said, "Well, I didn't include the "egg off the ceiling in that bill." Heh.

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), October 18, 2001.

Anita, something tells me you are not a gourmet chef. Me neither but I have yet to explode an egg.

My favorite snake is a hoop snake. As a boy, my pals and I would roll them to school.

Eeeeew said the gurls.

-- (lars@indy.net), October 18, 2001.

It's genetic, Lars. I blew up the eggs the same week that Lucky blew up her coffee cup. We were both just trying to boil water. I'm looking into a How to Heat Water Without Destroying the World kindof course with family rates.

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), October 18, 2001.

I just KNOW that this news will be met with the same enthusiasm on this forum that *I* felt today. I have these instructions on Ekans, ya know. First off said that he'd be hungry when active. Secondly, the instructions said not to feed him while he was shedding. Well, he spent about a week or so curling up a ball of skin and tossing it outside his log. Thirdly, the instructions said not to feed him unless he'd "pooped".

We have confirmation now, Houston, that Ekans has indeed left a "deposit" at the end of the tank. Larger than a poodle turd, but smaller than a Doberman's, I think we can feel confident now that our boy could, indeed, be hungry, and Lucky will see her new Microwave tomorrow.

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), October 21, 2001.

Anita,

I am awed and amazed at your ability to accurately portray "deposit" sizes. What elequence.

My only questions is: How much study had to go into learning these comparrisons. It sounds like you've done a lot of home work with Poodles and Dobermans.

This is devotion to duty (or alternatively doo-die) WAY above and beyond the call of duty.

I salute you as a fine example to our youth of clear concise communication.

- Greybear

-- Got Rulers ?

-- Greybear (greybear@whorldemail.com), October 22, 2001.

Speaking of doo-die:

There is an organization called "Dads Against Diapers", composed of men who refuse to get involved with changing infants. I have seen one of their T-shirts, with the motto "It's not a job, it's a doo- die."

-- Peter Errington (petere7@starpower.net), October 22, 2001.

Greybear: It was probably one of those courses I took at the YWCA between High School and University.

Anyway, the "deed is done". Lucky has her new Microwave and I've affixed a bandaid at the one-minute point on the dial [yeah...I made sure this one had a dial], instructing her NOT to go beyond it. I'll try and find something more decorative, but a bandaid was the only thing I could find at her place that would both stick and block the dial.

I also fed the snake. I asked for a medium sized rat at Petsco, but what they put in the carrier reminded me of the movie with that Wilbur [or something like that] guy. Wasn't it Perkins who played in that one, as well as Psycho? Anyway, I exchanged it for something smaller. SO waited outside and looked at the rat and said, "Can the snake swallow something that big?" I said, "You should have seen what they WANTED to sell me."

Like most of you, he didn't want to watch, even though he watches "Wild Kingdom" all the time. Remembering the mice the kids had, especially remembering how mice bit, I decided to just toss the rat in while Ekans was lounging around in his pool. The whole thing took just a few minutes. Ekans lifted his head out of the water, spotted the rat as it passed by his pool, made a little vampire-like hit on his neck, and wrapped around him a few times. From there he went on to swallow. I sure am grateful that I'm not a snake. It looked like childbirth to me [from the head on down], bearing down to move the rat along. I'm not at all sure the rat was big enough.

So, having read my letter with Capn's excellent recommendation on the beer, I got a call from my daughter on Tuesday. It started out with "MAAA!" [That would be the tone of voice indicating that I don't know my ass from a hole in the ground]. "You CANNOT get the rat drunk. It will smell like alcohol and it needs to smell like a rat." I said, "Don't worry about it. I fed him yesterday and just threw the rat into the tank." Again..."MAAA! You were SUPPOSED to feed him a day or two after I left." [I've already explained the instructions, and feeding him a day or two after she left was only line one. The remaining criteria hadn't yet been met.]

Spoiled kid, eh? Yeah. She called today to say that Andy's car would be repossessed on Friday if they didn't come up with $368.00. Heh. Is this MY problem? "But he drives me to work and if he loses his car, we BOTH lose our jobs." Like I said, "Is this MY problem?" If they can't come up with the money and find themselves living in cardboard boxes, I MIGHT send a plane ticket for her to come home, where she can pick up her snake and feed him herself. THAT sounds fair to me.

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), October 25, 2001.

Doncha jes love kids?

-- Greybear (greybear@worldemail.com), October 25, 2001.

I'm beginning to put together the pieces here, and [of course], I feel like a better snake-sitter than my daughter. Things just aren't going along like she said they would. First off, Ekans hasn't tried to escape his tank in the month he's been here. He was supposed to do that when he got hungry. He was supposed to get hungry about once/week.

I'm beginning to think that she needed to stun the rat because he wasn't hungry, but figured "What the hell...I suppose I could stuff another meal into my body since you've taken the time to do the preliminary work."

This past Monday was a week since Ekans ate that rat [after three weeks+ of no food]. His only movement has been from the log to the water pool and back to the log. No additional stools. I'm thinking the guy only gets hungry monthly, and at $5.49/rat, that doesn't hurt my feelings one bit.

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), November 02, 2001.

Wow, the sheer frantic activity of a pet like that is too much for me to handle, lol.

-- Uncle Deedah (unkeeD@yahoo.com), November 02, 2001.

The movie was called "Willard." I don't remember who played the lead, but I seem to recall him having been younger than Anthony Perkins would have been at the time. I do remember that Willard's boss (of whom Willard was not terribly fond) was played by Ernest "tear 'em up" Borgnine.

-- David L (bumpkin@dnet.net), November 02, 2001.

We ventured into PetSmart this evening to pick out the goldfish that my six year old had won at the harvest carnival. On the way back to the fish, I stopped to check out and talk to this rat they had there. Well, I fell in love with this sweet little thing, I talked to him and he stood up against the glass on his hind legs, he wanted me to pick him up. So I stuck my hand inside and pet him and rubbed his ears. And I wanted so much to take him home with me. I have 2 cats, but I think he may be too big for the cats to harm. And I really really want to go back and get him. I could just carry him around on my shoulders, heehee. And man I just can't imagine someone feeding him to a snake. That really sucks. =(

-- (cin@cin.cin), November 02, 2001.

Look, people, rats aren't pets either. They're vectors for disease. Please.

-- helen suffers dogs at a distance (snakes@rats.bleh), November 02, 2001.

Rats are pets just as much as goats and mules are. And PEOPLE are vectors for disease.

NEXT

-- (cin@cin.cin), November 02, 2001.

Lol, Unk. SO even remarked when he was home for a while how Ekans was certainly a low maintenance feller. Even a pet rock needs to be dusted once/week.

Cin: I'd think twice about getting the rat as a pet, only because my kids had mice at one time and I'm quite aware of how much damage they can do. One of our mice escaped and daily terrified a neighbor as he scooted under our door and under hers, the odors of her daily feasts luring him. He started eating at scary things like electrical wires. You don't want a pet that might burn down your house. Other than that, I have a friend in Chicago who had a pet rat for a while. They don't live that long, ya know. He was able to keep the rat in a closed environment from which he couldn't escape and had quite a bit of fun with him.

I don't feel guilty feeding rats to Ekans. I understand the food chain. Of course the last thing I'd want to do is look one of these rats in the eye, establish a relationship, and have TWO creatures in the house to feed. I must take the "Wild Kingdom" approach and simply help nature take it's course.

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), November 03, 2001.

Goats and mules aren't pets either. They overlords to be served 24/7, and impatient ones at that.

-- helen (slave@barn.yard), November 03, 2001.

I think Ekans is depressed...or constipated...or hibernating...or starving. Today was the third day that he didn't even venture out from his log to the water pool. I thought maybe the water pool had gotten too scummy, so I washed it, refilled it, and put it back in the tank. NO movement.

I then pulled him out of the tank and put him on the floor of the TV room. The blinds were open, and it's one of the warmest rooms in the house. He sniffed around the magazines on the floor for a few minutes and then went to a corner and curled himself up again. He sat like that for hours. I finally put him back in his tank, but at the opposite end of his log. He's STILL all curled up. This shouldn't be happening a week before I give him back. What if I've introduced a psychosis? What if that rat I fed him last week was poisoned by terrorists? Maybe he couldn't handle CNN being broadcast loud enough for him to hear in this room. I feel SOOOOO impotent!

If it's a psychosis, Helen, I'll ask for a rate that would include Mike. I'm sure there's someone out there who specializes in mental problems of mules and snakes.

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), November 08, 2001.

MIKE is eternally ok. Get a rate for me, will ya?

You can broadcast the Bradybunch for all the snake cares -- they're DEAF.

Maybe "he" is getting ready to make baby snakes...?

-- helen (things@could.get.worse), November 08, 2001.

No I think he's depressed. Ask your family physician for some Prozac samples and see how they work.

Maybe the return of his mother will cheer him up.

-- Jack Booted Thug (governmentconspiracy@NWO.com), November 08, 2001.

Helen: Are you SURE about that deafness? A day or two ago, I tapped on his tank to see if he was still alive in that log [not knowing whether to put the mirror on TOP of his nose or below], and he shifted positions. I suppose it could have been the vibration.

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), November 08, 2001.

Anita, there are no eardrums on a snake. Trust me. Ok, don't trust me...but they're deaf, I tell you.

-- helen (snakes@re.deaf), November 09, 2001.

Snake update? Has custody been transferred?

-- Jack Booted Thug (governmentconspiracy@NWO.com), November 28, 2001.

He's still here. Sometime after she moved back, she brought over one of those "Willard" rats that I thought too big to be consumed. She wacked it a few times, but it didn't phase THAT big guy. Since HER hands had been "tainted" by holding the rat, *I* took Ekans out of his log and put him into his water pool. He doesn't wiggle or anything when you pick him up. He reminds me of those dried up worms we saw on the sidewalk as children. However they were curled up is the way they stay.

Anyway, he finally got around to "constricting" the guy and eating him. My daughter said, "I've never seen him do that before." Yeah, well. He didn't get that name for nada, ya know.

She really needs a truck to take the tank home. Andy WAS in town the same week that SHE returned, although he returned because a high- school buddy of his had blown off his own face with a shotgun. The timing just wasn't right to ask him to transport Ekans. He's still hiding out in the log...Ekans that is. I think Andy went back to CA.

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), November 28, 2001.

I was going to take this space to explain turtle flirting techniques and artficial respiration attempts bypassing turtle shells, but the main theme of this thread has such a delicate pathos that I am not sure how to follow the parade of comments.

Maybe later. Peace, all.

-- Oxy (Oxsys@aol.com), November 29, 2001.

"He doesn't wiggle or anything when you pick him up."

Maybe, for a constrictor, stiff is relaxed.

-- Little Nipper (canis@minor.net), November 29, 2001.

As much as I worry about y'all, maybe we ought to be worried about those turtles and Greybear?

So if one day I just disappear and you don't hear from me any more, you'll all know what happened.

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), November 29, 2001.

Okay, I'll just go for it here.

After watching two sitcoms this week that featured mouth to mouth resuscitation of rodents, I am taking it as a sign that I am supposed to share this weird stuff.

Action Plan for Greybear:

Do not fear turtles. They are sacred sentinel companions. Just get on their level.

Do not fill a turtle aquarium with water without a partially submerged raft. A turtle with no raft or place to rest can drown. IF you happen to find a turtle unconscious on the bottom of the tank, pull him out, point him hrad down, let the water run out, and then start artificial respiration.

You can't make a dent in the shell, but if you notice, the spaces around his front and back legs work like little air bellows. Gently pull the front legs forward and push the back legs in, then pull the back legs out a bit and push the front legs in, just like you would heave-ho on a drowning person's arms back on the beach.

Do this rhythmically until the turtle comes to (in my case it took 5 minutes.) Then I put a little whiskey in his mouth and put him in a pan on the pilot light on the stove (not too hot now, ok?) Worked like a charm. I don't know if this is recommended but I used my engineering mind and winged it.

Turtle flirting techniques: The males of many species have long fingernails, females have short nails. The male uses his fingernails to tickle the female's eyelids, turning her on. Have you noticed any of this activity? Turtles can be a bit shy.

I can offer a truckload of advice but perhaps this is more information than you need.

Postscript: Cin did go back to PetSmart and get the rat who stood up and greeted her .. She named him Stuart. He has adjusted nicely. Now I think that is about the coolest thing I have heard all week.

-- Oxy (Oxsys@aol.com), November 30, 2001.

Thanks a lot, Oxy...I just sprayed Seven Up all over my monitor ROFLMAO!

I really liked this part...
Gently pull the front legs forward and push the back legs in, then pull the back legs out a bit and push the front legs in

It sounds like some kinda turle hokey pokey...

-- (just an@anonymous.one), November 30, 2001.

That WAS humorous, Oxy. I'm going to suggest to SO that he try tickling my eyelids. If nothing else, it should be good for a laugh.

Glad to hear that Cin and Stuart are doing well.

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), November 30, 2001.

Hi Oxy. Yes I DID go back and get rat. He is just so adorable and is finally becoming less nervous and is settling in nicely. Although he can sense when the cats are watching him. This must be instinctive. He doesn't mind cruising around on my shoulder, and will come right up to my face when im talking to him, and tickle me with his little whiskers. I let him cruise around on my desk, and he is dragging EVERYTHING that he can pick up or pull, back behind the fax machine. I think he's making a vacation home back there. I've even had to grab important papers away from him and say "no you don't". heehee. I have been watching the electrical cords, but he doesn't seem interested in those. I have his nutritious food that I picked up at the pet store, but he will pretty much eat everything. He loves milk; I have some asian sauce dishes that are perfect for giving him treats, pieces of veggies and fruits, rice cakes, an occasional chunk of cookie. Though I haven't overdone it, I don't want him to get sick. Anyway, I'm really glad that I went back for him, he is a nice sweet addition to our family. And to think I saved him from getting "wacked" and fed to some snake. =)

-- (cin@cin.cin), December 01, 2001.

Sure, Cin. ADD to my guilt this week.

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), December 01, 2001.

Are you sure he ain't a she?

-- capnfun (capnfun1@excite.com), December 01, 2001.

sooorrrrryyyy Anita

Cap if you are referring to Stuart, yes I am certain he is a he. Aside from the girl at petsmart saying that he's a he... Muy grande huevos would be my first indication. heh I am not sure if it's elephantiasis or if it's normal for a male rat. Stuart's my first. =)

-- (cin@cin.cin), December 01, 2001.

So there I was on the phone today with #1, discussing when she'll accompany me to see Lucky and how Lawnmower Dave will take the three of us to a tree farm next Monday when she said, "Is Ekans hungry?" I said, "Probably." I added that he hadn't pooped yet, though. She said, "Are you taking him out of the tank every few days and handling him? If you don't do this, mom, he'll get MEAN." Heh. I was supposed to know this? She then added that as soon as she could find a truck to transport him she'd take him back [where she handles him every day.]

More guilt. I'll kill a live tree on Monday and may be making a snake mean. Okay. I'll fill the guest bathroom tub with warm water again tomorrow, but only because she'll be here on Thursday to clean up any "poop" he makes there. He DOES need to be more active, but am I now the social director? Give me the Love Boat. If I'm going to direct social activities, I should be paid for it. Of course ya know I won't be paid. In fact, I'll betcha that I'll be squeezed for the money to buy the next rat. Somebody should have warned us about this BEFORE we had kids.

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), December 11, 2001.

"Somebody should have warned us about this BEFORE we had kids."

What? You mean you didn't take the Parenting Aptitude Test (PAT)? I scored 650 / 630! That was good enough to get a $5 discount on the marriage license.

-- Little Nipper (canis@minor.net), December 11, 2001.

I take it that Lawnmower Dave pointed you toward a real live tree ranch? Yee Haaw (isn't that Texan), you didn't get to whack something for Thanksgiving but you at least get to chop down a tree for Christmas. Things are looking up this Holiday Season!

I hope you take as many of your family along as possible. I've found that the more people involved the better the bonding experience. I certainly hope your SO gets to go along. I wouldn't want him deprived of seeing you in the Lizzie Borden mode, let alone the fun of wrestling the carcass home after the kill.

Be sure to wear hunter orange and a good pair of Birkenstocks.

-- Jack Booted Thug (governmentconspiracy@NWO.com), December 11, 2001.

I take it that Lawnmower Dave pointed you toward a real live tree ranch?

I THINK so. He was outside mowing his own lawn today [what's left of it]. It's not like anyone ELSE is going to pay him to mow lawns that have stopped growing and turned yellow, and he didn't get the title "Lawnmower Dave" for nothing.

I drove up to the gas station to fill up for an anticipated trip to Lucky's today [which didn't culminate], but on the way home, I stopped and talked to LMD. I asked him about tree farms. He mentioned "Lowes and a few other places." I said, "Their trees have been harvested in August or something, Dave." He then said,"OH...I see what you're saying. You're talking about CHRISTMAS trees." He started to give me instructions on the nearest Christmas tree farm. He'd said that it wasn't nearby. As I queried him further, he revealed that the farm was, perhaps, 10 miles away, but his instructions were so sketchy that I finally said, "Dave, Are you available one day next week to drive three stupid women to this tree farm where we can cut down a tree with YOUR saw?" I emphasized that he might enjoy the humor in watching the three of us saw, hack, etc. He threw his head back and said, "Can you make it on Monday?"

SO won't be here. [He misses ALL the REALLY funny stuff, and it's probably a good thing for ME that he does.] I think he's rolling in on the 23rd or 24th. He'd asked me to take the huge cardboard box that the new TV came in with Dave in his van, but #2 and I have decided that we'll spend off-moments during the week walking out to the garage with blunt instruments in hand to "manhandle" that sucker into something that can be delivered to a dumpster in a normal car. It sounded like a good release to me for a girl whose boyfriend had just dumped her. Oh...she called today. Her job ALSO downsized her...they're filing for bankruptcy, and school ended. Her whole world is gone. Yeah, I think with a few borrowed tools from LMD, we could do some real damage.

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), December 11, 2001.