idea for teens and adults

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There is a young teen on this site by the name of Jillian who wants to prepare herself for someday being a SAHM. I know her personally as a godly young woman who has a "good" sense of humour (see her addition to my "how to get out the urine smell" post) and a teachable spirit. Earlier in the spring she asked to come out to my place to learn to garden, but the summer was so busy for us as a family that we never got together (sorry, Jillybean). I intend to find out what else she wants to learn that I can work with her on over the winter and maybe next spring we'll get together on the gardening.

My thought was, that perhaps in your circle of friends, or in your church, there might be a young teen who wants to learn homesteading types of skills but whose parents are unable to teach them. Some of us prefer to farm our teens out this way rather than (or before) sending them to college. We women could connect with the girls on "homey" type skills, while the men could get with the guys on woodworking, carpentry, field-farming, blacksmithing, or whatever else your skill or trade is. We could take them on as apprentices of sorts, they volunteering their time in exchange for the skills we teach them.

-- Cathy N. (keeper8@attcanada.ca), October 10, 2001

Answers

What a great idea, Cathy!

-- Bren (wayoutfarm@skybest.com), October 10, 2001.

Hey, you're a Titus 2 woman aren't you? ;)

-- Jennifer (none@none.com), October 10, 2001.

Jennifer, how'd ya guess? ;)

-- Cathy N. (keeper8@attcanada.ca), October 10, 2001.

Cathy, this sounds much like the Amish do. Children go to school until 8th grade, then they spend there time either at home or with other families learning all of the chores necessary to run a household, or working in construction etc... Many of these young people are extremely competent, their parents have a lot of patience teaching them everything they need to know.

-- Melissa (me@home.net), October 11, 2001.

Cathy~ I have been thinking/praying/listening about a similar project. So many young women come from homes where mom worked and didn't do much in the domestic way. They are now young wives and mothers who stay home, but could use some advice/guidance about meal planning, laundry, shopping, etc. I know I had a friend from high school, who when she got married didn't even know how to load a dishwasher, they had always had daily housekeepers!!! Many of these young women want to do things themselves, just need a little guidance. I'm not sure how to start it though, it seems there are already a lot of different groups out there that people are involved with, sometimes one more just takes you away from home more. Maybe I should just pick one young wife and start there.

-- Ivy in NW AR (balch84@cox-internet.com), October 12, 2001.


Ivy--start with one and do it sort of informally at either her house or yours. Ask what she most wants help with or wants to learn and start with that. Feel your way carefully so she doesn't feel overwhelmed or resentful with too much advice. If you don't know which young woman to start with, talk to several different ones to see who "bites". Or post a notice on the church bulletin board. I think it was Elisabeth Elliot who told about a church that put up a sign-up sheet. One side was labeled "older women willing to teach" and the other was for "younger women who want to be taught". There was never any formal meeting, just women pairing off together.

-- Cathy N. (keeper8@attcanada.ca), October 12, 2001.

Well well, Mrs. Newton dear, you are all heart, and i truly appreciate your efforts to help prepare me for "those years", keep praying for me. I must admit once you talked to me thanksgiving day about "what i really wanted to do", i wasn't sure how to answer because theres the issue of money ( i know is a necessity) and then my wanting to be a better home maker. Something i also know to be true, that if i'm clueless about running a home, and am getting frustrated at my children and husband because things aren't working, then my home isn't going to be happy. I want to be prepared now as much as i can , so that my attitudes towards my family will be both godly and encouraging. Besides having things together! What sort of books do you suggest reading? i really would like to read anything you have of Elizabeth Elliot. I must say lately i have been thinking a lot about some young man (sigh), but i really want God to be ruler of my heart and top priority. thanks for your encouragement dearest!

-- jillian (sweetunes483@yahoo.com), October 14, 2001.

I had to answer Jillian personally yesterday, because my computer refused to load up this forum. But in case someone else is following this thread, I thought I'd answer her here, as well.

First, the Elisabeth Elliot book list. "Let Me Be a Woman", written as a series of letters to her daughter, who was engaged at the time. "The Mark of a Man", written to her nephew who had trouble settling down. "The Shaping of a Christian Family", about her own growing up years and the successes and failures of her parents in their growing up years and their attempts to raise 6 children for the glory of the Lord. "Keep a Quiet Heart", a devotional-type book.

Second, a word about money. I am in the delicate position of giving advice to Jillian while disagreeing slightly with her mother (Jilly, make sure she reads this and tell her I mean no offense!). Don't anybody misjudge the mother; she is one of my dearest friends and is looking out for her children's best interests.

Jillian's primary goal, apart from pleasing her Lord, is to become a stay-at-home wife and mother. She would like to take time now to develop the skills needed for that job, possibly volunteering her time to stay with and help some young mothers. However, her mother wants her to earn and save money to help with whatever expenses there may be when she becomes a young married.

I say, both are important, but not equally important. There is nothing wrong with working, saving, developing skills that will bring in cash if she ends up staying single or becomes a widow with children to support. BUT if she has a goal to be a homemaker and mother, she will need to develop skills that will make her home a haven, with a happy, contented hubby and delightful-to-be-with children. Which type of training should be her primary focus? I say homemaking, but there are others who have good reason to disagree. And I say this to Jillian. Other young girls have their homemaking skills quite developed and might need to focus on the money end (like I did). So pray about it, talk it over with your parents; you may need to find a way to compromise.

And yes, Jilly-Bean, you are always in my prayers.

-- Cathy N. (keeper8@attcanada.ca), October 15, 2001.


Cathy, my solution to this dilemma has been to teach my children from the time they were very little to care for the household chores and with the animals and gardens. My 14 year old daughter can do almost anything I can do, and is actually better than me at some things. I have no doubts or questions as to her competency in running a home, and I know I still have 4 years to teach her the rest of the intricacies of running a home.. I expect she will be doing more of the actual cooking, and canning in the next year or so under my supervision. She is an excellent manager of her money, and very conservative. My next 2 daughters and son are coming along well in this regard. Soon I will be able to lie on the couch eating chocolates, reading magazines and listening to music while the work goes on all around me!!!! HA!HA! seriously now, the time to teach your children is from the time they are little. Competency is a wonderful thing to instill in your children, To me a better gift than money. I know she will want to go to college and then if she wants to get a job, she will be able to save money. The first childless years of marriage are an excellent opportunity to save money when both people are working. I wish we had saved more, earlier.

-- Melissa (me@home.net), October 15, 2001.

Cathy I did not mean this advice to you only!! as I know from reading your other post that your kids do chores also, but to all who are reading with small children or none yet. It is a good thing to teach children these things.

-- Melissa (me@home.net), October 15, 2001.


Melissa, I knew that:o). I personally think all children should have some chore to do from the time they can crawl to the toy box and empty it. I found a method even better: teach one child and let them teach the rest! I put my nine-year-old in charge of my almost-three- year-old, and the next thing I know the little one dresses herself totally, puts her clothes away, straightens her half of the bed they share, and even ties her own shoes! As I write this, nine-year-old is finishing a batch of bread I started earlier. She also makes supper by herself; it's an odd feeling sitting in the living room relaxing a bit while someone else makes supper!

-- Cathy N. (keeper8@attcanada.ca), October 15, 2001.

I really appreciate the time you take to talk to me about my decisions, and encourage me to do what i can to prepare myself for later years, and thank you for your prayers. I really hope that this decision i have made just lately will free my up for more important TASKS. This baby sitting job will be more of a full responsibility as the grandmother gets working. And i wasn't reminded tonight to pick up those books from the church library , tisk tisk. AS always, i'm excited to see what God will have me doing in a years time, just two months ago, i NEEDED a job, and now i'm finding the "simple" things being what i really wanted. Sometimes lifes like that.

-- jillian (sweetunes483@yahoo.com), October 17, 2001.

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