NYPost

HOURLY REPORT: OSAMA WEARS A TIMEX

By BILL HOFFMANN and MURRAY WEISS

October 9, 2001 -- If Osama bin Laden hates America so much, why does he appear to be wearing a watch made in the United States?

In a videotape released this week, bin Laden blasted America and called President Bush "head of the infidels."

But the arrogant terror chief apparently isn't so disgusted by our country that he refuses to parade around with one of its best-known products.

In the tape, being reviewed by authorities, bin Laden appears to be wearing a Timex Ironman Triathlon watch on his right wrist, FBI sources said.

That seems odd because if, in fact, it is a Timex, bin Laden is supporting a wholeheartedly American company founded in 1857.

Timex has its world headquarters in Middlebury, Conn., and offices in Little Rock, Ark., Israel, Germany and China.

The $65 timepiece is even named after a famous American event: the Ironman Triathlon, an annual endurance event in which contestants run, swim and bike.

Alas, we may never know the true story behind the watch. Bin Laden was on the run yesterday, and calls to Timex execs were not returned.

-- Anonymous, October 10, 2001

Answers

Imus was joking this morning that, while on videotape, OBL is holding a bottle of coke and reading the National Inquirer.

-- Anonymous, October 10, 2001