AFL Cricket Cycling Football Golf Motorsports Rugby League Rugby Union Tennis Other Sports Rivals.net > the-wearside-roar.com Home October 7, 2001 TWR Menu Community Message Board Chat Membership

Features 2001-2002 Season 2001-2002 Squad Ground Guide Features Plus The Magpie Index About Our Site Just In Set As Home Page Story Index

Statistics League Table Fixtures/Results

Site Services SMS Services Ringtones Free Newsletter TWR Extras Contact TWR Goodies Last Season Subscribe & Win! More Links Site Services Celebrity Voicemail Bet Exchange Sporting Odds TotoPools Shop Sunderland Kit Sunderland Auctions

Wear Roaring Boards> Sunderland- - - - - - - -ArsenalAston VillaBirmingham CityBolton WanderersCharltonChelseaDerby CountyEuro footballEvertonFulhamGroundguideIpswich TownLeeds UnitedLeicester CityLiverpoolMan UnitedMiddlesbroughNewcastle UnitedSouthamptonThe English GameTottenhamWest Ham United > Caption CompetitionWear RoaringGuess the Gate! Display By: ThreadTopicDate

Previous | Next | New Post | Top of Board Mike_Bassett_ Posted on 6/10 18:52 Email this Message | Reply The jordie test

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It seems that some people are a little unsure as to whether they are jordies or not. Research shows that these people are those who discovered football only after seeing a satelite dish outside a pub, wandered in and were forced to watch the skunks. However it is more to do with how you live than where you live. In short it's a lifestyle thing. I have devised a simple (It had to be, didn't it?) test, so just answer the questions truthfully(is this getting complicated?). By all mean ask your probation officer or The Guvnor for help, and I hope you find your true identity. I really do..

Your spouse has a poster of Paul Gascoine smiling as a role model. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws. You think that a woman is "out of your league" because she asks for a glass with her "Newcki Broon". The phrase, "Thunderbirds are go!", reminds you the off license has just opened. You wish your toilet at home could be as clean as the one in the bus station. Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey watch this." You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan. Your school had a students' crèche. One or more, of your kids was born on a pub pool table. One or more, of your kids was conceived on a pub pool table. Your back door coalbunker is ideal for the rottweiler to raise its pups. The trade-in value of your transit goes up and down, depending on how full the petrol tank is. You don't have to leave the house to put rubbish in the wheelie bin. You once lit a match in the bathroom and the windows blew out. You only need one more stamp on your card to get a freebie at "Terry's Tattoos". You can't get married to your childhood sweetheart because of the current beastiality laws. You think 'loading a dishwasher', means getting your wife drunk. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it. The soundtrack on your wedding video ends with the loudhailer message "THIS IS THE POLICE"

For those still unsure, or those thinking of becoming a Newcastle Utd fan, read on...

You'll spend a fortune on Kappa Tracksuits. You'll spend a fortune travelling to home games. The fans of every other team in England will hate you. If you live next to someone who supports Sunderland, the Evening Chronicle will run a story on how the pair of you have painted one half of your garden gate Red, and the other half Black You won't be accepted by your fellow fans unless at least one member of your immediate family is in prison. The only people who will pay any attention to you are your kids (if you have any). Deep down inside, you'll know that in spite of buying the club strip year in, year out hanging a sign saying "I am a Dick head" round your neck would serve the same purpose.

With thanks, and apologies to, ww.staymental.co.uk. A site worth looking at. If you get bored.

IP: Logged Previous | Next | New Post | Top of Board The jordie test - Mike_Bassett_ 6/10 18:52 re: The jordie test - TWR_Online 6/10 19:14

About Rivals.net Terms of Service Customer Care Sales & Sponsorship Media Centre

-- Anonymous, October 07, 2001

Answers

Technically though i suppose this could include me as well!

-- Anonymous, October 07, 2001

I don't think Sunderland supporters are immune from this kind of stereotypical southern sh*te. Although it looks as if a SAFC supporter has put it together I have seen it on a number of sites in slightly different formats. Anyone South of Yorkshire thinks pretty much the same of anyone in the North. Could be annoying if it didn't make the perpetrators of such nonsense look like the ignorant tossers thay they clearly are.

Where has it come from originally? Pathetic really.

-- Anonymous, October 07, 2001

Actually I have now been told it's some SCOTTISH based site. Well they should know better!

I suspect that this stuff was penned nor for NUFC supporters at all, some Makem just reproduced it. At least be original in your insults!!!!

-- Anonymous, October 07, 2001

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

-- Anonymous, October 07, 2001

In fairness, like, you could change this around and apply it to every working class part of Britain. I think I've seen the same thing (almost word for word) applied to Scousers.

-- Anonymous, October 07, 2001

OK, own up, who here owns a Kappa tracksuit?

-- Anonymous, October 07, 2001

Brilliant SK, Funny as F**K, keep it up.

-- Anonymous, October 08, 2001

Hey soooooooper I don't like Kappa, isn't this insert x-y z here, Sure I've seen the same for scousers!! Very funny though....

-- Anonymous, October 08, 2001

Had a bloke come into mi shop earlier on. He was sporting a lack and white shirt (circa 96) and was wearing KAPPA track suit pants.

Typical jordie , I thought to myself.

-- Anonymous, October 09, 2001

Uncanny, it's an almost word perfect description of the bloke I used to live next door to in Fenham. You could also add that you call your two year old son a f***ing puff and give him a slap because he cried after you kicked a football in his face and you call yourself a street trader cos you go door to door trying to flog people their video back which you nicked the day before.

What a nightmare that twat was! Mind he came from Essex.

-- Anonymous, October 09, 2001