Sorry if this has been posted before, but it made me laugh...

A mackem is crossing the road one day, and he gets hit by a bus and killed. So off he goes up to heaven, and as he approaches the Pearly Gates he sees the figure of St Peter awaiting him on the other side. "And where dost thou hail from good fellow?" asked Peter. "Sunderland" said the mackem. St Peter's brow furrowed; "Ah, tough then, we don't let mackems in as a rule, you want downstairs..." "But I'm a good mackem!" protested the bin dipper. "Prove it" was Peter's reply. "Well, this morning I was walking down the street and a man was collecting for Oxfam - I gave him two quid" said the mackem. "Not good enough" scowled Peter. "Okay, well later that day I saw an old lady miss her bus, and I gave her a fiver to catch a taxi with her shopping" "Hmm, still not good enough..." "Well, as I was on my way home I saw this homeless guy begging for food so I gave him a tenner to buy some dinner, surely this proves I am a good man?" "Hmm" said Peter; "Just a minute and I'll go and see the big man and see what I can do..." So off went Peter into the clouds. Fifteen minutes passed, then another thirty minutes and eventually after an hour and a half, the figure of St Peter re-emerges from the clouds. "I've spoken to Him Upstairs and we've managed to come to a solution," said Peter with a smile. "Great!" said the mackem "does that mean I can get into heaven now?" "No" said St Peter - "Here's your seventeen quid back, now f*** off"

-- Anonymous, October 04, 2001

Answers

Thanks Mick, hadn't heard that one.

-- Anonymous, October 04, 2001

Classic

-- Anonymous, October 04, 2001

Trouble with this kind of joke, soon as the makems catch on, it'll do the rounds with 'Mag' (or worse) substituted for 'makem'.

Still canny, but.

-- Anonymous, October 04, 2001

That type of joke is appliable to any club just about Bill, it's basically a football joke. You could take Liverpool / Man Utd / Spurs / Arsenal etc.

-- Anonymous, October 04, 2001