Poetry Corner

greenspun.com : LUSENET : Unofficial Newcastle United Football Club BBS : One Thread

Thursday next is National Poetry Day
Where the scholars and writers come out to play
But where do our little group's efforts fit in?
'Twixt a bottle o'dog and large double gin!

Yet fret not, far away Ciara and closer Softie
For there is time yet to express your poetry
In verses of some lengthy and some writ in prose
So long as it makes sense and eventually in the end not too long to ensure it flows

So come forth young scribes and share your talents
For the great and the good we will find some balance
Fair better, or worse, we'll all need some hints
To find out how best to wind up the chimps ;-)

A clarion call, a cry o'er depths comes
Give your best, my fine Mags, a poem for makems!

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

Answers

http://www.poetrysoc. com/npd/npdindex.htm

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

there once was a man from Nantucket....

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

(Yer have to say it out loud ter get it)

There was a young man from Strathclyde

Who fell down a toilet and died

He had a young brother

WHo fell down another

And now they're interred side by side

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001


There was a young girl from Devizes

Had breasts of two different sizes

One was so small

There was nothing at all

And the other was big and won prizes

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001


When Lady Low-Bodice swoons

Her bosoms pop out like balloons

The butler stands by

Ne'er a gleam in his eye

And ladles them back with warmed spoons.

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001



There was a young Vampire called mabel,
Whos periods were exceptionally unstable,
One night at full moon,
She pulled out a spoon,
and drank herself under the table. sorry !!!!

-- Anonymous, October 02, 2001

Nymphomaniacal Jill used dynamite to give her a thrill they found her vagina in North Carolina and bits of her tits in Brasil

-- Anonymous, October 02, 2001

She stood on the bridge at midnight,

Her lips, were all a quiver,

she gave a cough

Her tits fell off , and floated down the river.

-- Anonymous, October 02, 2001

I hoped for something a little more intellectual...but,

There was a young lady from Ealing
Who claimed to have no sexual feeling
'Till a cynic, called Boris,
Just touched her clitoris
And she had to be scraped from the ceiling

-- Anonymous, October 02, 2001


There was a young woman called Blod Dreamt she was having an affair with god But it wasn't the almighty who lifted her nightie, It was Roger the lodger, the sod.

-- Anonymous, October 02, 2001


There was a young man from Cape Horn
Who wished he'd never been born
He wouldn't have been if his old man had seen
The end of the condom was torn.



-- Anonymous, October 05, 2001


A old lady from Ashington's car
Hit some ice and ran into a kerb.
The car was ok, but there was hell to pay
Cos his burb a jurb week was curtailed prematurely.

-- Anonymous, October 05, 2001

There was a man from Belgrave

Who kept a dead whore in a cave.

He said, "I admit

I'm a bit of a shit,

But think of the money I save!"

-- Anonymous, October 06, 2001


There was a young fella from Buckingham Who stood on the bridge down at Uppingham Watching the stunts Of the c*nts in the punts And the tricks if the pr!cks that were f***in' 'em

-- Anonymous, October 06, 2001

...... hardly a literary extravanganza, then!
Good chuckle mind.

-- Anonymous, October 06, 2001


I disagree Clarky. Surely these are among the finest examples of iambic pentameter in the language?

-- Anonymous, October 06, 2001

Iambic Pentameter

Wasn't he one of the greek back seventeen who was substituted ?

-- Anonymous, October 06, 2001


There once was a man called Pete Saul who had a rectangular ball. The square of its weight was his penis plus eight, minus half of three fifths of fuck all

-- Anonymous, October 06, 2001

do not read this one

There was a young lady called hitchin

sat scratching her c**t in the kitchen

her mother said 'Rose

its the pox I suppose'

She said 'b****x get on with your knitting'

-- Anonymous, October 06, 2001


Deep from the crypt at St Giles
Came a cry that echoed for miles.
"Oh goodness gracious!"
Said Father Ignatious.
Has the Bishop forgotten the Vicar has piles?

-- Anonymous, October 07, 2001

Moderation questions? read the FAQ