Man Finds Human Penis In Bottle Of Fruit Punch [Commerce City, CO]

While sipping his drink, Juan Sanchez-Marchez knew something was wrong when his drink bottle turned into a vacuum tube.
http://www.rockymountainnews.com/drmn/local/article/0,1299,DRMN_15_835399,00.html

-- Anonymous, September 30, 2001

Answers

Well isn't that a sick little story... I had to visit the index page to be certain it was a serious newspaper and not humour. I'm still not sure (Rocky Mountain News...heh!).

Anyway, what the hell kind of chemicals are in this 'potency' drink that preserved the penis for over a year? I mean, shouldn't it have been all nasty and decomposing and, you know, UNIDENTIFIABLE?

Also, in the case of food manufacturing, isn't there some kind of code that would identify who bottled the penis? Or at least be able to narrow it down to a group of people?

Finally, since it's doubtful some guy thought it would be a trip to hack off his own penis, then it is likely the penis was removed from a cadaver. How many people have access to dead bodies and how would a missing penis, even from a cadaver, go unnoticed?

So again I ask, is this shit for real or am I just too gullible?

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

isn't there some kind of code that would identify who bottled the penis?

Chris is refering, of course, to the International League of Penis Workers Union chapter number. Please check your union label.

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001