"My Fellow Americans"

greenspun.com : LUSENET : Unk's Wild Wild West : One Thread

"Good evening my fellow Americans. First I want to pass on condolences to the people of New York and all Americans that are hurting in this tragic time. Rest assured that anything and everything that can be done to assure the safety of our Country will be done. This is the greatest country in the world and we will get through this trying time.

Now is the time for all people to set aside our petty differences and show the world that no one and nothing can destroy the fortitude of the American people. To the people responsible for this tragedy, I say this:

Are you fucking kidding me? Are the turbans on your heads wrapped too tight? Have you gone too long with a bath? Do you not know whom you are fucking with? Americans are so hungry to kill that we shoot at each other every day. We will relish the opportunity for new targets of our aggression.

Have you forgotten history? What happened to the last people that started fucking around with us? Remember the little yellow bastards over in Japan? We slapped them all over the Pacific and roasted about 2 million of them in their own back yard. That's what we in America call a big-ass Barbecue.

Ever seen Texas on a map? Ever wonder why it's so big? Because we wanted it that way. Mexico started jacking around with the Alamo and now they cut our lawns. England? We sent them packing. Ask your buddy Saddam about fucking with the good ole USA. The only reason he got away the first time is because it's too hard to shoot someone when you're doubled over laughing at them. Our soldiers aren't trained to laugh and shoot at the same time. Now he couldn't stop a pack of cub scouts from taking over his shitty little country.

Trust us, Afghanistan will end up a giant kitty litter box. Go ahead and try to hide Bin Laden. There's not a hole deep enough or a mountain high enough that's going to keep your camel riding asses safe. We will bomb every inch of the country that harbors him, his camps and any place that looks and even smells like he was there. Hell, we might even drop a few bombs on people that have pissed us off in the past. This is America - we kick ass. This is what we do. Go ahead and laugh now, but the tomahawks are coming and we will smoke your sorry asses.

And now we have Jesse Jackson looking for more airtime. This low-life can’t even visit his illegitimate children but he has time to go over and hang out with the Taliban. We’ll just smoke his sorry ass too.

God bless America."

-- Your (Supreme@Commander.com), September 28, 2001

Answers

Every dog has his day

-- Will (righthere@home.now), September 28, 2001.

Sadam lives because he is Bush Seniors business partner for crying out loud. Do try and keep up.

-- (repugs@reasdumbasnails.net), September 28, 2001.

Even funnier reading it this time. First time was in an email I received on the 21st. The title was Bush's Speech, written by Mitchell R. Robb.

Nice try *Your* ;)

-- (You're being @ little less than. honest), September 28, 2001.


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