LUCIANNE - Today's 'Short Cuts'

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Jesse's Last Gasp: If Jesse Jackson doesn't have a place to retire let's get him one. After the carnage and mass murder inflicted upon this nation this egomaniacal charlatan and damn near traitor attributes human capabilities such as "grace" to the Taliban who either called him or didn't call him to negotiate. It doesn't matter because he's not going anywhere. Jackson says it doesn't matter who called whom."We would like to see this situation resolved in a way that preserves the dignity and integrity of all sides," Jackson mumbled to microphones yesterday. Dignity and integrity? Right - and 7000 dead. For thoughts that say it best check out Rod Dreher's column in the NYPost.

Quick, Before He Hurts Himself: Someone should get Jake Tapper away from his computer while he is still safe. In this screed against the White House and it's communications staff for (where else?) Salon.com he accuses them of being liars and writes"...this White House has developed a particularly tense, mutually distrustful relationship with members of the news-media..." For heaven's sake, we wonder how that happened.

Rudy, Rudy, Rudy: Extending Mayor Giuliani's extraordinary term in office is getting closer and closer to reality. The buzz in city government is that a term extension would give him control of the two huge funds, the Twin Towers Fund and the September 11 Fund. Combined they could reach the billion dollar mark. He who controls the funds, in or out of office, controls New York. This is not unsettling news to New Yorkers whose sanity has been saved by Rudy's heroic management of the city during the worst time in its history.

A Bad Read: The Washington Post's Bob Woodward has an "inside-the-highjackers'-luggage" piece in the Washington Post this morning that helps in fitting together the pieces of their madness and mode of operating. The more one reads about the "martyrdom" angle of these obscene people the more it all begins to look like a cult.

Hoax Me No Hoaxes: Here's a reassuring piece in the LA Times on the various hoaxes that have been spawned by the tragedy. One of the most annoying to us was the picture of the dork in mountain climbing gear supposedly standing on the top of the World Trade Center with a plane in the background. We received several dozen copies from people who really believed it. Skepticism is healthy - take a great big dose daily.

When The Going Gets Tough, The Cowards Get Going: The Washington Post says rich New Yorkers are loading their Beamers with extra Evian and heading for their summer homes, terrified that the Taliban will bomb LeCirque and Bloomingdale's on the same morning. This is both good and bad news to those who love the city. The good news is that we now know who the wimps are. The bad news is that we now know who the wimps are. Arrivederci, Muffy. We'll call.

Your Recovering LComStaff

-- Anonymous, September 28, 2001


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