Apparently 11% of Brits have now had plsatic surgery to enhance their looks.

So who's had what done?

-- Anonymous, September 21, 2001

Answers

I had to have all sorts done to tone down my God-like good looks. Women were throwing themselves at me in public, really embarrassing, and try as I might, I can't reduce my sexual performance below 3 hours a go for a "quickie" so there was simply no way of satisfying all of them in the lifespan allotted to me. Apparently the plastic surgeons who performed the operation had to sedate the nurses to prevent them interfering. Still, I have no regrets, people that think I was just born ugly could never guess at the hardships I have endured to end up like this.

-- Anonymous, September 21, 2001

......... after that, further comment would be entirely superflous! ;o {)

-- Anonymous, September 21, 2001

I always suspected that you'd had an ugly job done softie. Good on ya for coming out.

-- Anonymous, September 21, 2001

If you were a rich young footballer, such as Chadwick or Jeffers, would you make your self bette looking?

-- Anonymous, September 21, 2001

Howweh Softie, you're not that ugly.:-))

-- Anonymous, September 21, 2001

Are we talking about Steve Howey's ears again....

-- Anonymous, September 21, 2001

I wouldn't mind spending a few grand on a facelift, a bit of suction round the middle (oo er missus) and an ear job. otherwise I'm perfect.

-- Anonymous, September 21, 2001

Rik's had one hasn't he? I've heard loads of people calling him a plastic tit......

-- Anonymous, September 21, 2001

Thanks Gav,

BTW did you ever go in for the liposuction?

Actually I was just thinking, If there are about 100 regulars on here then 11 of them are likely to have had some done. I was just wondering if anyone would own up.

Obviously not, people would rather confess to being bi-sexual, closet man U fans or trainspoters rather than owning up to cosmetic surgery.

-- Anonymous, September 21, 2001

What do you mean Rik?

-- Anonymous, September 21, 2001

The liposuction went very well thanks Rik...

I don't imagine that any of the people on here are really prime candidates for tit jobs though rik....

-- Anonymous, September 21, 2001

Remember that bloke that had silicon implants put in for a bet? He liked touching them so much that he dosen't want them removed.

-- Anonymous, September 21, 2001

I wanted a boob job but the doctor couldn't bloody find 'em! I had a friend who had a mole removed from her leg (true). I told her not to bother 'cos it was only hibernating and would be gone by spring.

-- Anonymous, September 21, 2001

Definite show stopper that one Jacko. :-))

-- Anonymous, September 21, 2001

I had a reduction done.

You'll have to guess where of course :)

-- Anonymous, September 21, 2001

Were you once Pauline but had the "ine" removed?

-- Anonymous, September 21, 2001

No, because having "ine" taken away would be a removal, not a reduction.

-- Anonymous, September 22, 2001

....... well, how is that liposuction procedure, Paul? Painful?

-- Anonymous, September 22, 2001

It was more of an anti-liposuction, and the bits they pulled out were donated to the "small down below Mackem" fund, a registered charity the nurse said.

-- Anonymous, September 22, 2001

Lipoblowjob??

-- Anonymous, September 22, 2001