A, I don't have your email address and I didn't know where else to ask this question.

I can't reach Hate Your Daddy, I'm getting a you don't have permission message. Do I offend? I showered this morning!

-- Anonymous, September 18, 2001

Answers

Ah! Me too. Why would my access be denied. Server!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-- Anonymous, September 18, 2001

Al's server has been known to go down before. Or maybe she just hates us. And our daddies.

-- Anonymous, September 18, 2001

Personally Al, I find it offensive that I, too, have been banned from the site. And I hate your Daddy more than anyone! Does this mean there are secrets to be shared with others but not the most important person in your universe? I am thinking all sorts of things. Are you safe, Al? Is your server safe? Oh, why did I ever let you move away from home? (This is a special effect for all of you who know me only vicariously through Al. It is my OPM (over-protective Mother) routine.)

-- Anonymous, September 18, 2001

JoLowe! I was thrilled to discover that we're practically kin!

-- Anonymous, September 18, 2001

Oh, yes T, and it is a frightening revelation. I was sure that by keeping the offspring divided that the world would be safe and we could stop the insanity. However, fate has a way of intervening and you and Al seem to be destined to propetuate the madness once again. (I hope you have as much fun as your ascendents, however, it would be best if you didn't drink as much!)

-- Anonymous, September 18, 2001

In terms of drinking, JoLowe, you'll just have to witness my entire family en masse at the wedding!

-- Anonymous, September 18, 2001

To the faithful:

I am sneaking you a message from my current temp job. The server must be down. I'll call about it. I haven't updated anyway - however, I am sure to soon, since my current temp assignment involves the use of walkie-talkies. Imagine the horrific possibilities. It's like the Dukes of Hazzard in here.

Meanwhile, pay no attention to my mother.

-- Anonymous, September 18, 2001

It seems to be back up. Let the daddy-hatin' continue.

-- Anonymous, September 18, 2001

Not only is it back up, it is updated.

-- Anonymous, September 18, 2001

Hey Allison, it's funny that in your fake walkie-talkie conversation you'd use sheep as your handle.

Oh, I'm sorry, I think I just became someone else there for a minute.

-- Anonymous, September 19, 2001

Al is funny.

-- Anonymous, September 19, 2001

I think MATH should get CB radios. Then we could talk like that all the time.

I have to think of a good handle now. What's yer 20, come on back?

-- Anonymous, September 19, 2001

We almost have CB radios, complete with funny handles. It's just known as IM now.

(I'm belecrivain on both AOL and Yahoo. I'm just sayin' . . . )

-- Anonymous, September 19, 2001

I have a handle - it's been the same since 1984, when my parents bought the sweet-ass customized Ford Econoline 350 van. Awwww yeah. My handle is Swamp Hog. Because I am a bad ass.

-- Anonymous, September 19, 2001

That could only be funnier if it was Swamp Chicken... wait..., no... it couldn't be funnier.

You should never have told me that, Swamp Hog.

-- Anonymous, September 19, 2001

Swamp Hog is intimidating! It is bad ass! Imagine, if you will, my eight-year-old self barreling through the Atchafalaya Basin in the swank Econoline, calling out to the big rigs on I-10, "Break 19 - Swamp Hog here! Can you tell me what the weather's like in Lake Charles? My dad wants to know!"

-- Anonymous, September 19, 2001

I want my handle to be Foxy Momma.

I am so foxy.

-- Anonymous, September 19, 2001

I always thought that "Fancy" would be a good handle. Once, I met a man named Fancy, but I don't think his momma named him that.

-- Anonymous, September 19, 2001

Here's your one chance, Fancy, don't let me down.

We used walkies at the theater I worked at. Nothing brightened my day more than someone saying, "What's your 20?" and someone else responging "The head" and then me having to jump in and say, "GOD, don't answer from the head! I don't want to hear you pee!"

-- Anonymous, September 19, 2001

When I worked at a movie theater, we had those little phones, and any time a phone would ring, we'd answer "Fred's Abortion Clinic-No Fetus Can Beat Us!" or "Fred's Mortuary-You Stab 'Em, We Slab 'Em".

Come on, I was 16. It was high comedy.

As you were.

-- Anonymous, September 19, 2001

SWAMP HOG!

T, I was just thinking how I miss you throughout the day. And then you throw that in. I may never stop laughing.

I just wrote a scene for class featuring a Beauty pageant contestant named Tancy.

-- Anonymous, September 19, 2001