In honour of our venerable contributor Buff, I have respectfully attempted to compose this posting in something akin to his style. Thank you.

4 mill+...Robert, Bellamy maybe on Bob's credit side, this boy on debit. Behind Lee, Speed and Acuna in pecking order, maybe African lad to come, Dyer to dunsh him further down ladder. Won't want to kick heels - Yanks did that for him last year - pack back to Buenos A and shut the door on poncho brigade?

-- Anonymous, September 17, 2001

Answers

Appalling Pastiche.

-- Anonymous, September 17, 2001

Sounds more like a cryptic crossword - 9 Across (4,5)

-- Anonymous, September 17, 2001

Problem is, E mail ad is valid, buff's aint.

-- Anonymous, September 17, 2001

Dan, I worry about buying from South America, with the exception of (most)Brazilians. My concern is that if they don't work out, it's unlikely that a club from their home country will come in for them with a sensible transfer fee offer. It's okay buying at at £1- 2m'ish, but over £3m and I get nervous. Unless they're called Tino.

-- Anonymous, September 17, 2001

Happens with Spaniards as well though.

-- Anonymous, September 17, 2001

We've had better luck with South Americans than with Europeans in some ways. Let's face it, Tino gave us value, Acuna is a gem and Cordone gave us as much as you can reasonably expect for someone who cost only 500K. There are some question marks over Bassedas but I'm OK with him being in the squad: he has had one or two mint games (eg. Leeds at home last season).

-- Anonymous, September 17, 2001

We'll be lucky to get £500k back for Bassedas - waste of money, and we should get rid.
There again I said the same about Bellamy, so what the hell do I know? It certainly is a funny ol game!

-- Anonymous, September 17, 2001

He did nowt but fall over on Wednesday evening. Lucky not to be sent off for diving (and, yes, he did deserve his yellow). I think the guy has talent, but he's not a Premiership player - what more can I add?

-- Anonymous, September 17, 2001

The point I was trying to make beneath my veil of Buffness was that he seems to have virtually no chance of making the team, particularly once Dyer's back and if we sign another mf. I'm sure we'll get the speech from him about being willing to fight for his place (ie I'll only make a fifth of this wage back home and there I'll actually have to play) but can Bob justify keeping him on given that we may have six players competing for two places in a couple of months? Agreed, we won't get our money back, so it looks like YBR's make a rick of Marcelinesque proportions. I have similar concerns about Quinn (Hughes, Griff and Bernard can all back up Elliot) but at least he was <£1m.

-- Anonymous, September 17, 2001

With our injury record, we could be down to only 4 fit midfielders again ina few months. ;-)

-- Anonymous, September 17, 2001

I don't think we can judge anyone on the game against Brentford - most of the team were lacking match practice and weren't really up for it - no excuse, but I suspect a better performance would have been had against a better team.

He's by no means our best midfielder, but he can see a good pass and is worth having as a squad player in my opinion.

-- Anonymous, September 17, 2001

I keep watching the highlights show from Argentina on Bravo and they do play at quite a pace but have a more total commitment to acting. Bassedas was utterly appalling on Wednesday but maybe we need to judge him with Robert, Dyer and Bellamy playing around him. It's just possible that we have some players capable of reaching those through- balls of his which wasn't the case when he was beaning it ahead of a jetlagged Nobby and slow-motion Shola and Shearer. Had he been on when Bellamy showed up he might have seemed like an entirely different player. Half the pacy players he's been asked to link up with have been nursing calf and hamstring injuries up until now. Maybe, just maybe he'll be a different man with the terrifying spectacle of Distin coming out for a short pass and return when he is under pressure and then finding himself with that little bit of room to think about it......nahhh, it looks like a turd and smells like a turd, I ain't tasting it.

-- Anonymous, September 17, 2001

Softie, I agree that he has had enough time to settle and doesn't deserve to be a regular with his current form, but surely someone who has been capped 30 times for Argentina must have something to offer our team?

-- Anonymous, September 17, 2001

Oi you, Mr Blah Blah !!, :-) , thank you for your kind words at the start of your post, what the hell do you want of me, Melwin Bragg !! well you got Billy for better or worse pal . Not one to boast but it is not widely known that at the age of 17 I had a paper published (courtesy of Jarrow Tech) depicting good and evil using as my theme the classic James Dean ,East of Eden, it can be found at most car boot sales. Sadly after that my training took a new turning , more emphasis on "get in", get out" nature, never had much time to shake it all about* On relection. my better posts have been I suppose at 4am in the morning when I was reliably informed by the Ruperts, one`s body is at its lowest ebb. I do find it difficult to talk to a visitor etc, or discuss a work situation while my mind and pc is on the bb`s,hence the cryptics. Finally Daniel the book of true life sketches I have recently completed will be forwarded to the `Chewin the Fat` crew , sorry mate , you had your chance , btw did I ever tell you about the dog handler, the Colonel , toast and marmite in Sarawak, ? nah, just have to save that for the second edition. Yer a terrible man - Dan.

*Wot`s called in the biz, a double entendre`, allows guffaws/smirks, and one`s fellow contributors to swoop in with the funnies. **most widely used in a sexual concubation , but is a tribal dance and song chanted by the tribes of Geordieland

-- Anonymous, September 17, 2001

Sir, you are a gentleman, a scholar and a verbal acrobat. Though sometimes your posts are the verbal equivalent of a magic eye poster or Miles Davis circa Bitches Brew, no irony meant in my tribute. Keep em coming.

-- Anonymous, September 18, 2001

How much are we paying Bassedas? Maybe getting rid of him would help us buy the Mythical Central Midfielder.

-- Anonymous, September 18, 2001