Why Farm Trucks are never stolen (humor)

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Okay, I didn't write this, but it's funny! (and true!)

Why Farm Trucks Are Never Stolen ----------------------------------------------- ~ They have a range of about 20 miles before they overheat, break down or run out of gas. ~ Only the owner knows how to operate the door to get in or out.

~ It is difficult to drive fast with all the fence tools, grease rags, ropes, chains syringes, buckets, boots and loose papers in the cab.

~ It takes too long to start and the smoke coming up through the rusted-out floorboard clouds your vision.

~ The Border Collie on the toolbox looks mean.

~ They're too easy to spot. The description might go something like this: The driver's side door is red, the passenger side door is green, the right front fender is yellow, etc.

~ The large round bale in the back makes it hard to see if you're being chased. You could use the mirrors if they weren't cracked and covered with duct tape.

~ Top speed is only about 45 mph.

~ Who wants a truck that needs a year's worth of maintenance, u-joints, $3,000 in bodywork, taillights and a windshield.

~ You leave a followable trail of manure dribbling out the back.

~ It is hard to commit a crime with everyone waving at you.

-- Anonymous, September 10, 2001

Answers

Julie,

Thank goodness you've spotted my truck! I was wondering who on earth would dare steal it. I need my bale of hay back and I'm sure the collie needs feeding by now. Thanks for the laugh.

Wishing you enough.

-- Anonymous, September 10, 2001


How true, Julie, how true!!! We have an old 1983 Dodge truck that can hardly get out of it's own way, but it serves it's purpose, just wish it didn't get stuck so easily, but it was a "gift" from Dad-in- law, so, we can't look a gift truck in the mouth (under the hood???), so to speak!!!

-- Anonymous, September 10, 2001

We had an '85 Dodge PU that seemed to run forever!! Had over 200,000 mi. on it when we finally sold it last year. The only reason we got rid of it was because, with our Me. winters and salty roads, the body was starting to rot off! The guy that bought it fiberglassed the bad spots and painted over them with a can of Rustoleum paint. Doesn't look half bad :-)! Now I wish we'd kept it...the excise on our Y2K Dodge truck is a killer!!

-- Anonymous, September 10, 2001

We had afriend who had his 1965 GMC CarryAll stolen once with two mean billy goats in the back. The rig was found less than a mile from where it was stolen.

-- Anonymous, September 10, 2001

I have a 1987 Ford F150. It could look better, but runs just fine. If anyone steals my truck they probably won't go too far. Seeing through all the dog nose prints on the windshield is an art most folks haven't seemed to master.

-- Anonymous, September 10, 2001


We have a 1984 ford truck Michael uses for the pigs. It has so much corn hulls, dust and ground feed dust all over it and in it. You can't see out the windows and my husband while loading the water tank one day busted out one of the glasses in the back sliding window. Plus it is a stick shift and I can't get it to go into gear, especially second. It is a real challenge to drive and you need a set of nose plugs. So hats off to whom ever would want to steal that thing. Phyllis

-- Anonymous, September 10, 2001

Yea, farm trucks!

My old truck, now gone three years (and DEEPLY lamented), was a blue '75 Dodge Adventurer pick-up, 8'-0" bed, 318 ci V8, a/c conked to hell, A/M radio, vinyl seats that fried your skin in summertime. Engine compartment with tons of room and you could really work on it yourself; no friggin' computer stuff, except for electronic ignition. Ol' Blue had to warm up at least 5 minutes everytime it got colder than 50 degrees (above zero, mind you)in winter, and heated up (but never overheated) in blazing summertime. I bought her with 88,288 miles (yeah, I still remember)in 1982 and kept her for 16 years (352,397 miles - no overhauls). Bouncing over some nasty ranch roads, road work, hauling stuff, building our present home, TONS of memories.

Only reason the steering wheel was pried from my hands was that my wife was six months pregnant and I knew that hauling a little one in a bench seat / no air conditioned vehicle would not work. Still miss her so much though . . . thank you Julie for bringing in some fond memories.

-- Anonymous, September 11, 2001


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