Priest Smoking

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I have a 16 daughter and 17 year old son. Our pastor goes on all of the youth group activites and overnights with them. The priest is a heavy cigarette smoker. He smokes continuously in front of the teenagers. He never talks about it but I think it is a very bad example for young Catholics. Is this something that I should talk to my priest about?

-- Connie (ConDee@juno.com), September 02, 2001

Answers

Jmj

Hello, Connie.
You are certainly within your rights to speak to him about it. But, as you probably know, he is suffering from a particularly nasty addiction that is awfully tough to break. The odds are greatly against you, both because he will probably be unwilling to change, or, if willing, he will probably be unable to quit. If you do decide to speak to him, please pray for help to find the right words to help him react favorable, at least not to become very angry. Maybe if you approach him with positive words, rather than negative words, you'll do better. For example, tell him that you are concerned about his health, because the parish and the diocese would be hurt badly by his becoming ill or dying young. If he says that, under no circumstances, could he quit [e.g., he has tried and failed many times], you could ask him to talk to the children about how he is unhappy to have the addiction and is unable to break it, how it has cost him a vast amount of money, how he knows that his life is probably being shortened, etc., etc.. It seems that he owes the kids at least that much. Ask your guardian angel to speak to his angel for help. At least one of the 20th-century popes used to do that before a meeting.

You have the option of keeping your children out of contact with the priest. Better than this, perhaps, would be to organize a special campaign of prayer within your parish (at least within your household) for the pastor to break his addiction. Actions like this have the effect of showing how seriously you take this problem and how much you want your children not to imitate the pastor.

It is not hopeless. With God's help, I broke a 20-year addiction myself on New Year's Day, 1988 -- a New Year's resolution actually kept! -- and I have never had another cigarette. After 13 years, I STILL occasionally have a momentary craving -- no doubt completely mental rather than physical.

God bless you.
John

-- (jgecik@amdg.ihs), September 02, 2001.


Connie, I agree with John, You should be very kind if you do talk to the Priest! I think that sometimes it is not what you say, but how you say it! You might be suprised the results you get, if you talk nice, and have a pure heart. David S

-- David S (asdzxc8176@aol.com), September 02, 2001.

its there bodies they should smoke if they want to....however not in front of students.....doring your own private time...

-- SeReNiTy .G (CraZiEBaBybLiNgZ@aol.com), April 17, 2002.

Serenity, In her original post, Connie points out that the problem is particularly evident on group activities & overnights. Since he is a heavy smoker it would be difficult to smoke "privately" on these activities. As a recovering smoker and a Priest, I can empathize both with Connie & the Priest. We Priests are human and we have vices. I applaud those of us who will not be hypocritical and say "do as I say not as I do." Silence about smoking is not an encouraging to smoke nor is smoking. I am sure that if asked the Priest would say, "I truly want to quit but it is not easy." Yes prayer does help. Father Chris W. LaBarge

-- Father Chris LaBarge (marydelfr@starband.net), April 18, 2002.

Any chance of switching him to a pipe? Most people who can't stand cigarettes (and cigars are worse) actually like the smell of pipe smoke (not as acrid, similar to some incenses). Less chain-smoking with the pipe, as well.

As to smoking on "private time", which he should (thank goodness most ban smoking in the workplace), how about he goes off on a smoke break every 3 hours or so and lets someone else ride herd on the kids for 10 minutes. When he is with other people he is working, and that needs to be pointed out to him--also that second-hand smoke is bad for others' health. School teachers don't smoke around kids.

And maybe the parishoners could get together and pay for a good quit smoking program (that maybe isn't completely covered by his insurance), and I'm sure that there might be others who want to quit who could attend with him. And of course there is now the patch, but that does nothing for the "ritual" associated with smoking, which is part of the habit.

He has to really want to quit, though. Probably the most drastic measure would be to take children out of the program for health reasons, but try the other solutions first. I wouldn't let my kids hang around someone (and that includes relatives) who smokes for any reason.

-- GT (nospam@nospam.com), April 18, 2002.



We are so Puritanical!! Good heavens be glad you have a good priest and quit worrying about smoking. Did you know Pope St Pius X enjoyed a good smoke now and then? Fr Lebarge--is smoking really a vice? Or just a bad habit. Anyway, they say reformed smokers are the worst! Ha! Thanks for your input on this forum though. OK, have to run, time for a smoke break. (Kidding!)

-- Cowboy Bob (home@therange.net), April 18, 2002.

I didn't grow up with "smoking/drinking/drugs is EVIL", like many people I know, I was brought up that it was stupid and dangerous to do something like that to your body.

And, just as I wouldn't want my kids around a druggie or an alcoholic, I wouldn't want them around a smoker either.

-- GT (nospam@nospam.com), April 18, 2002.


As much of a anti-smoker I am...I would have to say I agree with the priest here...I grew up around smokers, infact everyone in my home except for my brother and I smoke....I hate being around smokers,,,,but guess what...I spoke with one of my Priest once about his duties...he took me to the rectory one day and showed me the things he has there,,,He has Tv's, Radios, and videos, and stuff like that...I was sooo shocked that day, I learned something though....I told him "Wow!, you can watch tv?" He started laughing, and said "Yes, of course, why do you say that?" I told him that I always thought Priests couldnt do that stuff...... and you know what he said that I will NEVER forget? He said, "Priest are people too." From that day on, I realized that just because he is a Priest, doesnt mean he cant be human anymore, right? So I say let the Priests be the men that they are,,,,It is up to the parents to teach the children about people and the things they do....If the parent doesnt teach the child, then the child will end up doing like I did...He will be shocked the next time he sees a Priest turn a tv set on and wunder why....

-- Jacob (flake777@hotmail.com), May 04, 2003.

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