Unk I sent you an important email at your yahoo address -- just wanna make sure you get it. Thanks

(Hi guys! /wave)

-- kritter (k@a.n), August 31, 2001

Answers

Krit! Where you been? Heard EverQuest rumors but doubt them. Doing a kids summer theatre this year? Don't be a stranger!

-- Carlos (riffraff@cybertime.net), August 31, 2001.

Hi, kritter! Nice to see you're still around. Hope you're doin' well.

-- Eve (eve_rebekah@yahoo.com), August 31, 2001.

I was able to acquire a copy of the IMPORTANT email kritter sent to our holiest of holy moderator. It reads as follows:

Dear Unkster (Divine gift to all humanity),

Our family was discussing a very important matter during supper this evening. The discussion encompassed the heirarchy of effectiveness for the various fingers when picking our noses - collectively (we are a very close-knit bunch) and individually. There was some disagreement between the men and women at the table as to the overall effectiveness of the ring finger of the non-dominant hand. After some heated words we called a truce and agreed to accept your judgment in the matter as final. We would appreciate your analysis - perhaps complete with flow chart. Please respond with all due haste, oh He of timeless wisdom.

Your Adoring Subject,

kritter

Please forgive me, kritter, for posting the contents of your IMPORTANT email to the One Most Perfect Commander of all He surveys. I felt it would provide posters with a glimpse of the sort of IMPORTANT matters brought before His Majesty on a daily basis by people from all over the globe. Heavy is the head (sans hair, even) which wears the crown.

-- Rich (living_in_interesting_times@hotmail.com), August 31, 2001.

The ring finger of the non dominant hand??? Thats not what I said at all. Ring fingers are completely ineffective, I think we can all agree on that. Index fingers are the only ones made to do the job right, preferably on the dominant hand. !! (although for the less difficult itches..a pinch and pull of the nose with the index finger and thumb of the non dominant hand works well..I find)

-- kritter (k@a.n), August 31, 2001.

The index finger? One cannot simply sneak an index finger into a nostril while discussing the fine arts or philosophy at a social gathering! For shame!

There is but one purpose for the deservedly much maligned pinkie finger. No, it has not evolved strictly to be flailed wildly while sipping hot tea or other beverage of choice. The pinkie finger exists solely for removing unwanted guests from one’s proboscis (with some measure of stealth when required, I might add). The nail can be grown longer than those on the other fingers, to be used for delicate expeditions into the inner reaches of the nasal cavity.

My, my. Poor dear kritter. Yet another victim of public education, I presume. I do hope it's not too late to straighten out the youngsters of your clan. I would be honored to come out and lecture the neighborhood children, if you can arrange lunch or supper and a modest speaking fee. I've much to share on this and similar subjects.

Do let me know, will you?

-- Rich (living_in_interesting_times@hotmail.com), August 31, 2001.

Jes' add a pinch 'tween yer cheek n gums. Tastes like wild hick'ry nuts...

-- dinosaur (dinosaur@williams-net.com), September 05, 2001.

Tryin to remove the bats from the cave huh?

-- Debra (Thisis@it.com), September 05, 2001.