I am Catholic and have never been married. My fiance' has is divorced and has two children. He is Episcopal and was married in a community Christian church. I was told that I can not get married in the church until his marriage is annulled. Since he is not Catholic, why cant we get married in the church.

What will this procedure consist of? How long will it take?

-- Darlene M. Quebedeaux (darlenequebedeau@aol.com), August 27, 2001

Answers

Jmj

Hello, Darlene.

Why can't you get married in the Catholic Church right away?
It's because of our Church's extremely high esteem for marriage and Christ's telling us that a true marriage is for life -- until the death of one of the partners -- unbreakable simply by a divorce. The Church assumes, until the contrary has been proved, that a marriage ceremony involving two Protestants is a valid sacramental union.

No marriage can be "annulled." That is, the Church cannot cause a true marriage to become null and void. Rather, she will carefully examine all the facts about your friend's union, with a particular eye to the situation as it existed on the wedding day, to determine whether or not valid matrimonial consent was given by the two partners, whether there were any insurmountable obstacles existed that day. If there was such an obstacle, preventing genuine consent from being given, the union was null and void. (A marriage that was truly valid on the wedding day cannot be destroyed by sinful behavior by one or both parties that occurred later.)

To prepare for the process, your friend, with the help of your pastor, will fill out some forms and prepare written testimony about his marriage. [You should go and see your pastor tomorrow. Don't procrastinate.] Other witnesses, including your friend's wife, will have a chance to do the same. If a Catholic Church court, called a marriage tribunal, concludes that the union was not valid, it will grant a Decree of Nullity, leaving your friend free to marry you in the Church. The process could take anywhere from 6 to 24 months, but it is likely to be in the 8-to-12-month range.

The granting of the Decree is by no means automatic. Please pray for the help of the Holy Spirit, both to enlighten the tribunal and to prepare you for a decision in either direction. I notice that you referred to your friend as your "fiance," but my advice is that you should try not to speak of your friend that way until the day after the Decree is granted. The Church may determine that he is still married to his wife, in the eyes of God, so it is best to prepare your mind and soul for that eventuality. Please put all your trust in the Lord.

God bless you.
St. James, pray for us.
John

-- (jgecik@amdg.ihs), August 27, 2001.