This is a long interview so I've distilled it...

1) Newcastle drew with Sunderland yesterday. How did the game go?

It went quite well but we should have won with all the chances we had at the end. It's disappointing because Newcastle haven't beaten Sunderland for three years and it would have been good to put that right.

2) How was it for you?

Quite good, I put in the ball that resulted in Craig Bellamy's goal..... I also put in a few good centres. We should have got a penalty when their defender handled the ball but the referee didn't see it. In any event, I had a good game.

3) Weren't the team tired after the Troyes game?

Not really - the lads were given a day off but the team is very young and they recuperate quite quickly.

4) You've only got two points from two games. Were you expecting things to be so difficult and are you worried?

Not at all. We've taken points from two good sides. It was great to take a point off Chelsea. We should have beaten Sunderland but the team played well so I'm not worried.

5) When will your injured players come back?

Alan Shearer has already made a start and should be fit by 8 September. As for the others, they should be fit soon..

6) How will you spend the next couple of weeks?

I'll be in training mostly but may come back to Paris on the weekend.

7) How do you feel about being knocked out of the InterToto?

We stopped playing when we went one up but did really well to get back into the game. WE might have won but their goalkeeper was great. Now we just have to concentrate on the league and I'm going to do everything I can to ensure we do well in that.

8) Distin was at the game. Did you see him?

Yes, he is staying in the same hotel as me but I didn't watch the match with him. He met the directors but I don't know what's happening.

9) There is talk of Andy Cole coming to Newcastle?

That would be great because with Shearer, we'd have a fantastic attack. But there are loads of changes at Man Utd so you can't tell what's happening. In any case, everything here is going well and I'm very happy to be here..

There's some bollox about PSG after this.

-- Anonymous, August 27, 2001

Answers

Laurent, Laurent Robert..everyone knows his name.

-- Anonymous, August 27, 2001

Merci, Dougal. I wonder what the club feel about him being so open - especially about the Sacha Distin thing? Wouldn't be a lot easier if he just got himself a PC and logged on to this BBS. It would save you from having to translate it all (and make it all up??).

PS. Remind me, wotsisname?

-- Anonymous, August 27, 2001

Hmm - it seems like Wor Ronnie has been learning from YBR. Tonight, they say the following:

Bobby Robson paid tribute to his £10 million signing for the "beautiful" pass which set up Newcastle United's equaliser yesterday.

Robson said: "Robert's touch is exquisite. He has a fantastic feel for the ball, something which was seen from Craig Bellamy's goal.

"It was a beautiful ball from Robert and such a well-taken goal by Bellamy. If he had taken his shot later it would have been from a worse angle and if he had hit it a bit earlier he would have been too far out. But he hit it just at the right moment and really it was perfect."

Robert was equally happy with Robert Lee, adding: "I thought the way he opened up our play, switching the ball out to the left, was a throw-back to the days when Jimmy Scoular used to ping the ball out to Bobby Mitchell."

Either Laurent Robert is a student of NUFC history or Olan Aliver is talking out of his @rse. I'd prefer to believe the former but history is behind the latter.

-- Anonymous, August 27, 2001

LOL Screach.

By the way, it's always a pleasure to read crap alta vista translations - I'd already put LR's interview through the engine so you might aswell enjoy it, even though Doug's lovely edited highlights give you the gist....

August 27 2001 Newcastle made null match yesterday in residence 1 to 1 vis-a-vis in Sunderland. How s.est unrolled the meeting? Ca s.est passed rather well with share qu.on should have gained the match. With all the occasions that l.on had at the end of the meeting, it would have been logical qu.on takes the three points of the victory. Newcastle n.a not beaten Sunderland since three years and j.aurais quite desired to gain the match to stop this curse. And for you, like that s.est last? J.ai given the ball of goal in Bellamy at the end of the first half. I recover the balloon in the medium of ground, Bellamy makes a good call of ball, I shine mets in-depth, it leaves all alone to the goal and it puts it at the bottom d.une cross striking. If not, j.ai given some good centers. There is of them one in first half which would have had led to a penalty. The defender touches the ball of the hand in surface and l.arbitre does not see it. In any case, that s.est passed well for me. You n.étiez not tired a little after the match in Intertoto against Troyes? The guy had one day of rest to recover. Moreover, as l.équipe is made up of young players, they recover relatively quickly. He n.y did not have a problem compared to that. For the moment, you took two points into two matches. T.attendais you at a beginning of so difficult season? Anxious Es you? Absolutely not. One met two good teams for the beginning of the championship and one succeeded in taking a point each time. Super C.était to make null match with Chelsea and even if one should have gained yesterday the derby vis-a-vis in Sunderland, l.équipe s.est comprised well. C.est for that qu.il n.y does not have d.inquiétude to have. When will you recover the casualties? Already, Alan Shearer made his re-entry yesterday at the end of the match. For him, that goes much better. Like it n.y does not have a match this weekend, I think qu.il will know ready for September 8. There is great chance for qu.il is titular. For the others, they continue to be looked after. But there will be soon our complete team. How will you manage this two week old cut? One will continue with s.entraîner. There n.y does not have a match with the program being given qu.il are various international meetings envisaged this weekend. D.ailleurs, I perhaps will come this weekend to Paris. Let us return to the Intertoto Cut. Newcastle was eliminated by Troyes after a completely insane match. How did you live the meeting of the platforms? Hard, very hard C.était. When one marked, one stopped playing and one gave them two goals. From 4 to 1, one goes up to four everywhere but one fell on a super guard. In any case, that me fout the balls of knowing qu.on will not play the cut of l.UEFA. Now, it is necessary to concentrate on the championship. There remain to us beautiful meetings to be disputed and I will do everything so that that occurs well. Sylvain Distin was also present at St James Park. Did you have l.occasion to see it? One s.est considering the evening with l.hôtel. It was in the same one as me. On the other hand, us n.étions not together for the meeting. I know qu.il was there to meet the leaders but since, I do not know where that in is. One also speaks about l.arrivée d.Andy Cole. Ca would be a very good thing for us but it is necessary to wait. There are enormously changes in this moment in Manchester, one l.a seen with the departure of Stam to Lazio. One speaks d.ailleurs about Laurent Blanc to replace it. But c.est true that s.il came, with Shearer, that would make a very beautiful attack. But for l.instant, the group goes well. I am very content there d.être and j.espère that that will last longest possible. If not, j.ai considering Paris had beaten Rennes this weekend. Does Ca go well apparently? Yes, they are fourth with the classification. They gained 3 to 0 and the new recruits s.intègrent well. Super C.est for them. D.ailleurs, j.ai believed to include/understand qu.Okocha had become new the star of the park. I am content for him parce qu.il had known one year difficult and it returned well in the blow. Here, I you lay .

Particularly fond of I recover the balloon in the medium of ground, Bellamy makes a good call of ball, I shine mets in-depth

-- Anonymous, August 27, 2001

LR translated is: "le rouge du Lancaster"

Est-ce que le confondre plutôt n'est pas?

;7)

-- Anonymous, August 28, 2001

Here, I you lay is my favourite bit. Pure Gallic chivalry.

-- Anonymous, August 28, 2001