is it allowed to masturbate yourself if you are married?

-- Tasha Board (smiling_gold@hotmail.com), August 26, 2001

Answers

Response to To masturbate yourself,is this allowed if you are married?

Go back to 8/13, Read a question aked by Chris Butler about a Mother asked to kill one of her twins! You will find all of the information you want! It was just 13 days ago, Good Luck, David S

-- David S (asdzxc8176@aol.com), August 26, 2001.

Response to To masturbate yourself,is this allowed if you are married?

Jmj

Good of you to think of that thread, David.
Here is a link to it.
(The quick answer to Tasha's question is "no," and that 08/13 thread would help her to know why.)
JFG

-- (jgecik@amdg.ihs), August 26, 2001.

Response to To masturbate yourself,is this allowed if you are married?

I disagree with the notion that any form of self-indulgence or self- gratification within the boundaries of the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony is acceptable. To carry out such behaviour knowingly is to desecrate this holy sacrament. There are two principle clauses in the Catechism of the Catholic Church that deal primarily with the subject of Masturbation:

2352. "By MASTURBATION is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. 'Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that MASTURBATION is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action.'[CDF, Persona humana 9.] 'The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.' For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of 'the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved.'[CDF, Persona humana 9.] To form an equitable judgment about the subjects' moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety, or other psychological or social factors that lessen or even extenuate moral culpability." 2396. "Among the sins gravely contrary to chastity are MASTURBATION, fornication, pornography, and homosexual practices. "

CCC 2352 clearly states: “MASTURBATION is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action”.

In condemning masturbation, the Church makes no qualification for anyone who has had the benefits of the Sacrament of Marriage. There is no mutual self-giving or human procreation which love and marriage are predicated upon in the act of masturbation for one who is married, regardless of who they might be thinking of. In masturbating within the confines of marriage one spouse is not providing pleasure for the other; they are not procreating. In masturbating within the confines of marriage one is only fooling themself into rationalizing sin. One is merely accommodating their own desires under the pretense of claiming to enrich this holy sacrament. In knowingly doing this one adds sacrilege to the sacrament of marriage on top of the grave sin already being committed. The sacrament itself is being used as justification for grave sin.

CCC 2396 does not clarify itself by saying “except within marriage when one spouse is thinking of the other”. It states clearly: Masturbation is a grave sin! Period! There are certain moral obligations to do with chastity in any state in life. This fact is no less applicable for those who are married. There still remains certain obligations regarding chastity in marriage and, it can be argued, the responsibilities to chastity are of even greater dimension within the confines of marriage. So let us be careful not to mask our own selfish motives behind the notion that masturbation is noble when it is done out of love for a spouse. The Church has clearly told us this sort of behaviour is self-serving, not acceptable and should be avoided at all costs.

St. James and Mary Our Blessed Mother, pray for us!

Ed

-- Ed Lauzon (grader@accglobal.net), January 20, 2002.

Response to To masturbate yourself,is this allowed if you are married?

Hi Father,

I have heard that if a catholic wife has had a relation with her husband and she has not been satisfied by an orgasm, while her husband has himself for example fallen fast asleep ... that it could be permissible and not sinful for the wife to masturbate so as to release her tensions. The person who told me this was very credible theologically, and I have not found any reference to this situation in books so I was wondering if there are theological sources about this.

-- (guerob@sympatico.ca), June 30, 2004.

Response to To masturbate yourself,is this allowed if you are married?

The Catechism of the Catholic Church states:

(2352) "By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action. The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose. For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved."

The key word here is "intrinsically". An act which is intrinsically disordered or intrinsically immoral cannot be made morally acceptable by circumstances. "Intrinsically" means "by its very nature, irrespective of any and all circumstances". Therefore such an act is never allowable. You are suggesting that the scenario you describe is within the context of marriage; but in fact it is not. It is "outside of the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved", just as described in the Catechism.

The person who told you this may be theologically educated, but he is not theologically credible if he dispenses advice in direct contradiction to the teaching of the Church.

-- Paul M. (PaulCyp@cox.net), June 30, 2004.

Sorry if this is too specific . . . but, the answer your friend should pursue, instead of masterbation, is to communicate with her husband about her needs and desires. If she will instruct him on how to stimulate her sufficiently in advance of intercourse (to take his time in foreplay and even allow her to have several orgasms before they proceed to intercourse - there are multiple techniques that can help) and then to continue to manually stimulate her clitoris during intercourse, she can experience multiple orgasms during her sexual relations with her husband, which IS accepted by the Church.

The way they are currently having sex, it's all one-sided and boring. Sex is intended to be the ultimate expression of marital unity and sharing of one with the other. If he takes 2 minutes to shoot his load and it's over, where's the intimacy in that.

If your friend can find the courage to communicate with her husband and insist on a more intimate and mutually satisfying sexual experience, and then lead him through it, I guarantee that he'll LOVE it too. He just doesn't know any better. She needs to teach him about her body and what makes her tick. He'll enjoy the experience, I promise!

Dave

-- non-Catholic Christian (no@spam.com), July 01, 2004.