NYDailyNews

RODHAM BROTHERS GETTING KID-GLOVE TREATMENT: LOCALS

By BRIAN BLOMQUIST

Folks in the small Pennsylvania lakefront community where Hillary Clinton's brothers Tony and Hugh beat up a jealous rival say the Rodhams are getting special treatment - and no one's surprised.

"Crap like this happens all the time. It's because they're Hillary's brothers. They get treated like celebrities," said Lake Winola resident Stephanie Jones, a neighbor of the Rodham brothers.

"They've been partying every night," complained another neighbor, noting that the Rodhams' frequent rock 'n' roll parties last into the wee hours.

Last week, the boys got into a bloody scrape with local paper-mill worker Daniel Coyne, who claimed he flew into a rage when he caught Tony sleeping with his girlfriend, Kellie Quick.

Coyne was arrested and charged with burglary, trespassing and assault - but the Rodhams got off scot-free, although they pummeled the local.

Coyne's pals say Hugh Rodham is still trying to persuade the cops to upgrade the charges against Coyne, who faces jail time in addition to the loss of his six-year relationship with Quick.

In Lake Winola, resentment is apparent. "Everyone's like, 'Oooh, there are the Rodhams,'" Jones said.

While Tony was at the center of the latest fracas, brother "Hughie" came to notoriety as a key figure in the Pardongate scandal.

Hugh Rodham, 51, a Miami lawyer, took more than $400,000 from two convicted felons, a cocaine dealer and a tax-dodger, to secure their pardons from brother-in-law Bill.

The hard-partying Rodhams were always friendly with the former president and his wife. So close, in fact, that Hugh went along on the Clintons' 1975 Acapulco honeymoon.

Hugh was essentially living in the White House during the final weeks of Clinton's presidency, spending weekends in Florida with his wife, Cuban-American real-estate lawyer Maria Arias.

Tony, 47, who was briefly on the payroll of the Democratic National Committee, is the ex-husband of Nicole Boxer, daughter of Sen. Barbara Boxer (D-Calif.).

-- Anonymous, August 26, 2001

Answers

NYDailyNews

OH, BROTHER, WHAT HICKS!

WHAT'S with the men in Hillary Clinton's life? Talk about bad taste and bad luck!

First, it was her wayward husband Bill going astray. Then it was her wayward husband Bill allegedly cutting deals with her marginal brother Huge, er, Hugh, on those questionable pardons.

Now, it's questionable brother Tony and marginal brother Huge duking it out and rolling around the floor with a marginal/questionable character who broke into their vacation home, successfully knocking Tony off the couch upon which he was allegedly rolling around with the man's girlfriend.

This, mind you, was after a night of drinking at the local bar. The next day, Tony, sporting a broken nose, bragged he got the better of neighbor/intruder Daniel Coyne, even though it took both Tony and tons-of-fun Hugh together to give him one shiner, several scrapes on his legs and chest, and a dislocated shoulder.

The day after that, Tony bragged to the papers that he was just sorry he didn't have a gun handy so he could have killed Coyne instead of just beating him, or crushing him or whatever the hell they did to him.

Now we know why his sister, the U.S. senator sometimes from New York, is so anti-gun. She'd be in court defending her brothers on murder charges every five minutes and wouldn't have time to tend to her wayward husband and/or job in the Senate.

Some family! I'm surprised they even have a home on a lake instead of a place on wheels in the Ozarks. They should be let out only to appear on "The Jerry Springer Show."

-- Anonymous, August 26, 2001

And then there's this. Nice family.

Times-Leader

'Hugh Rodham' throws down the gauntlet

The makings of must-see TV

The huge voice on my answering machine Friday sounded downright deranged.

"This is Hugh Rodham," the man said. "I'm calling in response to your column."

THE Hugh Rodham?

Former President Bill Clinton's brother-in-law? Brother to New York Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton? The same chump who helped win a presidential commutation for convicted cocaine dealer Carlos Vignali?

Couldn't be.

Even he doesn't sound that wacky.

"Your information is completely incorrect as usual because as a tabloid wannabe I guess your paper really just wants to print the Republican line about every piece of crap that ever floated down the system," the Reputed Hugh huffed and puffed, beginning to build steam for the long haul.

Republican?

Incorrect as usual?

Sounds like this ex-Penn State football practice dummy has taken umbrage at the great journalism I've written about his dizzy sister and her testosterone-ridden hubby.

The column that sent the Reputed Hugh over the edge, though, had appeared in Thursday's newspaper. My answering machine at the paper registered the call a little before 9 Thursday night.

My piece of priceless political satire advocated a presidential pardon for Danny Coyne, the Lake Winola wild card who is charged with breaking into the Rodham family cottage and mixing it up with Hugh and brother Tony. Police say Danny boy contends that he flipped after peering in the cottage window and seeing Tony campaigning with Danny's woman.

Danny claims the rich-boy Rodhams ganged up on him and whipped his working-class butt. The rowdy Rodhams claim he attacked first and they acted in self-defense.

The preliminary hearing should be better than a "West Wing" episode. Let's call this drama "Chicken Wing."

Reputed Hugh saw no humor in my column, however.

Berating me for advocating tongue-in-cheek freedom for Coyne, he accused Coyne of terrible behavior.

"Of course you don't print that," Reputed Hugh railed. "Because you don't have the guts to print the truth."

Then Hugh - if it really was Hugh, and I'll never believe that because I have too much faith in the Rodham DNA strain for any member of the family to behave like a mutant seed - went bonkers.

"You're a moron," he fumed. "You're an intellectual snob. You're a Republican raghead. And that's just the way it is."

Yeah, and your sister wears combat boots. What's a Republican raghead, anyway?

If I'm a Republican, Bill Clinton's this month's centerfold for Abstinence Monthly.

Reputed Hugh was on a huge roll.

"And, by the way," he raged, calling me "unrefined and uneducated," "How many degrees do you have, buddy?"

"Where'd you go to school? I don't know. But, I went to Penn State and then to Arkansas. And, I've got graduate degrees more than a thermometer, my friend. So, you want to compare intellectual curiosities, LET'S DO IT. Anytime you prefer," he shrieked.

"But, next time you write an article, why don't you check the facts. Oh, I forgot. That's not important to somebody with your mentality. See ya, buddy."

OK, buddy, let's do it.

Tuesday. In front of your Lake Winola cottage. High noon. That's the time I prefer for fact-checking and dueling intellectual curiosities.

Maybe your sister will hold your coat.

Call Corbett at 829-7215 or e-mail stevec@leader.net.

-- Anonymous, August 26, 2001