Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo." - H. G. Wells

Today's Joke:

There's a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, "Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on highway 280!"

Herman says, "Well heck, there isn't just one, there are hundreds!"

THE CRUISE SHIP my friend was working on docked at a Mexican port during a very high tide. Everyone on board was forced to use the ship's narrow gangplank as a passageway to the dock far below. The staff stood motionless when a passenger in her 70s appeared at the top of the plank. There wasn't room for anyone to assist her, so she edged along slowly and finally made it to the dock safely, to everyone's relief. As she stepped down, she turned, looked back at the top of the plank and shouted, "It's okay, Mother, you can come down now." -- Contributed to Reader's Digest "All in a Day's Work" by William D. Hoover

-- Anonymous, August 23, 2001

Answers

A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up.

"Oh, we'll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship," the wife explained. "He was a communications major in college and I majored in theater arts.

He communicates real well and I just act like I'm listening."

Quick Wit:

Patient: "Doctor, you've got to help me, some mornings I wake up and think I'm Donald Duck, other mornings I think I'm Mickey Mouse."

Doctor: "Hmmmmmmm, and how long have you been having these disney spells?"

-- Anonymous, August 24, 2001