[Was looking for Flyswat link and this came up on the search...]
The Scenario
January 1st, 2000:
The sun rises early in the east this morning, its golden rays penetrating the thick layer of smoke which now covers what once was the city of Chicago. Like thousands of other cities around the globe, this one is now quiet. Once a center of urban activity and only the night before home to a thriving menagerie of drunken frat boys peeing off balconies and aging yuppies gathering together, trying to find that one special person to kiss across the millenia.
But that was before the world ended...
Post-It Notes(tm) now lay smouldering on scorched desktops in gutted office buildings. ATM's shoot twenty dollar bills into the street onto the corpses of many a panicked human. Amidst the decaying aftermath of Armageddon, under the ruins of downed 747's and worthless stock certificates, life stirs. Beneath the heaps of garbage with Starbucks(tm) labels, a tiny creatures perks out its feelers.
"Hey, look guys! The humans are gone! It's time to paaaa-aaarty!" says a meek, high pitched voice. The pile of garbage rumbles as millions of cockroaches come above ground, washing over the vacant city like a brown tidal wave.
But they are not alone...
As the mass of pesky insects feeds on McDonald's (Again, TM) tofu-patties, they hear sounds in the distance. First one squeak... then another... From the sewers they came, fighting to reach any signs of food. The smell of rotting flesh and uneaten donuts has brought the rats from the deepest recesses of the city.
"Hey, what the hell is going on here, I though we were the only ones left!" says the leader of the Rats, staring fiercely at the roaches. "This is our planet, now, so you had better get used to the sewers!"
"I don't think so, furball!" retorts the Roaches! We were here first and we'll be here last. Go back underground before you get eaten like beef fajitas at a Tijuana weight watchers convention!"
Millions of tiny red eyes glow in the morning firelight, teeth chatter and antennas stiffen for battle.
"You had better scurry little ones, the lights just came on..."
So Joe, which of the infernal infestations inherit Illinois?
[More at link]
-- Anonymous, August 23, 2001