the emerging field of "subjective well-being"

-- Lars (larsguy@yahoo.com), August 17, 2001

Answers

I'm so happy I could shit.

-- (Wm J. Clinton @ 150K.lecture), August 17, 2001.

"Happy"? You're so bourgeois.

-- (Leon Trotsky @ Potemkin.Village), August 17, 2001.

*Norwegian Propaganda Alert*

"Overall, Scandinavian countries seem to be the happiest."

-- flora (***@__._), August 17, 2001.

Pssst Flora, you want some hot rosemaling?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lars was on a trip and as he passed through the customs station, he was asked if he had any pornographic literature. "Vell, no sir," said Lars. "I haven't even got a pornograph!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ole and Lena were having a nice quiet evening at home. Suddenly the door bell rang. Ole went to answer the door and found a man pointing a gun at him. "Vell, uffda!! Are yew a robber?" asked Ole. "No, I am a rapist," replied the stranger. So ole yelled, "Lena! It's fer yew!!"

-- Lars (larsguy@yahoo.com), August 18, 2001.

You assholes wouldn't know happiness if it bit you in the ass.

-- George S Patton (JustKickin@ss.org), August 18, 2001.

My Goodness what a mouth you "seem" to have.

-- settle down Mr.Patton (fake@123.com), August 18, 2001.

flora, If you've ever been to Sweden with those tremendously buxom blondes, you'd be pretty damn happy too!!! Well, maybe if you were a guy, heck, even a lesbian would smile over there!!

-- Al Bundy (big@hooters.com), August 18, 2001.

Happiness! You pussies, we are here to suffer and sweat. Life's a bitch and then you die.

-- (Soloman Grundy @ party.store), August 18, 2001.

When we have a flat, it's always somewhere most convenient for changing the tire, at the most convenient time for getting the tire fixed.

The car has always caught fire at precisely the best place for getting it put out without injury.

When we run out of wood, we always have a warm spell and don't need it anyway.

When the roof leaks, it's always when we're home to deal with it. Ditto for grass fires.

When either of was about to lose a job, two other jobs popped up, and on more than one occasion too.

When there's no money for gasoline, and payday is three days away, we always find a couple of dollars in the dryer lint filter.

When protein consumption was low, someone happened to give us a pig head for Christmas. Another time someone's freezer broke and they gave us some hamburger that would have spoiled anyway.

When we needed an extra bed, and we bought one, the same day someone showed up and gave us a bed. Then someone called and asked us if we had a spare bed to give to some children who were sleeping on the floor, and we had the pleasure of giving.

We've only stepped on non-poisonous snakes, except for the time a barefoot kid stepped on a copperhead, and even then the kid didn't get bitten. The only snakes that reached six feet in length here are non-poisonous.

When the mule got lost, he got found.

In a twisted way, we're happy...

-- helen (bad@luck.or.none), August 18, 2001.

Happiness is a bonsai kitten

-- (Zenmaster Seung Sahn @ temple.bells), August 18, 2001.

Following is an excerpt from a Humane Society email about the above site:

> BONSAI KITTEN IS A HOAX: 
> In recent months, we have been deluged with emails from concerned 
citizens
> regarding the "Bonsai Kitten" website, a prank website created to 
incite
> anger among animal lovers. The Bonsai Kitten website has been very
> successful in doing exactly what its creator intended: to provoke 
millions
> and millions of animal lovers into publicizing its existence across 
the
> globe.  While the website has successfully shocked and upset throngs 
of
> animal lovers, it is important to make clear to the public that no 
animals
> were actually harmed in the creation of this website. Any continued
> attention on website is actually more harmful than it is helpful, 
feeding
> directly into the prankster's game.
> WHAT YOU CAN DO: 
> If you receive an email about the Bonsai Kitten website, please do 
NOT
> pass it along, as publicizing its existence will only further fuel 
its
> creator's sick intentions.  For more information on this topic,
> see:http://www.hsus.org/programs/companion/bonsai_kitten.html

-- Debbie (dbspence@pobox.com), August 18, 2001.

BONSAI KITTEN IS A HOAX

No shit, Sherlock.

-- George S Patton (JustKickin@ss.org), August 18, 2001.

No animals were injured in creating this thread.

-- Lars (lars@indy.net), August 18, 2001.

It took me a few moments perusing the site to conclude it was a hoax.

I just don't think it's funny and don't want to see it passed on.

Unfortunately, people do do sick shit like this and the only way you can really tell the site is a hoax is the degree they take it to. Remember the woman who bred the "twisty kats" with the little flippers for front legs (a mutation like the Thalidomide babies)? She thought they were "cute" and was breeding more of them and selling them. That was no hoax.

Hi Lars... Am I happy? Er, I won't let this ruin my day. Now back to your regular programming.

-- Debbie (dbspence@pobox.com), August 18, 2001.

Maybe it helps to be a little bit nuts to be happy. I know it works for ME.

Maybe it IS hereditary.

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), August 19, 2001.

The garage is too narrow for the car. Ya gotta love Norwegians. We give new meaning to "People do the strangest things."

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), August 19, 2001.

Funny stuff Anita. Ananova is always good for news of the weird.

-- Lars (lars@indy.net), August 19, 2001.

It was kinda funny.

-- Carlos (riffraff@cybertime.net), August 19, 2001.