My elderly relative and I went to a nice little restaurant for lunch. Glass tables, no vermin in sight, a really nice little place.

A man in street clothes walked in for lunch. He was wearing FOUR pistols. Two were in shoulder holsters and two were in side holsters. For all I know he was a good old boy and not even a cop. For all I know he had just robbed the bank and was having lunch before shooting it out with the cops. If he needed to eat lunch armed to the teeth, then I felt the need to eat my lunch quickly and leave before his need became obvious.

I resented having him walk in there looking like Dirty Harry on a drug raid. Of course, spineless coward that I am, I said nothing to him. He was decorated like Pancho Villa and all I had was a fork.

Would YOU have said anything to him, and if so, what?

-- helen (this_a_real_address@yahoo.com), August 17, 2001

Answers

helen,

In which state do you reside?

-- J (Y2J@home.comm), August 17, 2001.

And were all of the pistols obviously being carried openly, or was it a poor job of concealment?

-- J (Y2J@home.comm), August 17, 2001.

Yes, Helen, where exactly do you live? Sounds like the makings of one of those urban internet legends to me.

-- E.H.Porter (just.wondering@about.it), August 17, 2001.

Helen, I would not have said anything to him but I would have immediately left the restaurant telling the manager on the way out why I was leaving.

IMO, this man should have been more sensitive. He should have been aware that 4 exposed guns in a public place would make people uneasy. Since he was not that would have told me he had a screw loose. What on earth would he need FOUR guns for?

-- Debra (Thisis@it.com), August 17, 2001.

How do we know these weren't squirt guns?

-- Lars (larsguy@yahoo.com), August 17, 2001.

Try again. Open carry laws, 1999

-- Lars (larsguy@yahoo.com), August 17, 2001.

The guy only had two hands. If the guy couldn't eliminate his target with a full clip in a gun in either hand, he didn't deserve a second chance with two more clips. What really pissed me off was that he could have taken a seat near the door where he and his enemies could have worked it out with a quick head shot, but nooooo, he put my precious fanny between himself and the door.

These were not little lady pistols, these were big clip-loaded guns. I don't mind sharing table space with a uniformed police officer -- but they only carry one or two pistols, and smaller ones at that. And it would have been ok if he had been a good old boy with a concealed carry permit -- if he had bothered to conceal them. The restaurant was air conditioned, and so was his vehicle, so he had no excuse for not wearing at least a shirt over the shoulder holsters. I mean, for heaven's sake, even I know to keep the boot knife covered.

I think he was a jerk who just wanted to intimidate the hell out of a restaurant full of gentle flowers of womanhood such as myself and the college guys at the next table. Complaining to the manager wouldn't have helped, as he didn't speak English -- or he couldn't in the presence of a walking gun show.

I just wanted to know if any of you could come up with a suitable remark for me to make if I ever see this jerk over-armed in public again. (Pssst, Porter, do you do wills...?)

-- helen, miss manners for our times (pass@the.ammunition), August 18, 2001.

Oh yes lets all hide our guns from helen there. God forbid the big mean nasty guns scare her. After all we all know they can just jump out of their holsters and start shooting with no human intervention right? This is the typical knee jerk reaction to firearms that is slowly chipping away and the rights of americans.

Did you even bother to ask him what he did? Perhaps he was a Bail enforcement agent. They often wear street clothes and have to arm themselves with MANY guns as the creeps they bring in feel no need to limit themselves to one gun.

Perhaps he was an off duty cop? Perhaps he was getting something to eat on his lunch break from the SWAT team. People really need to not see every armed person as some wakko who will go columbine on them if they ask what they are doing with a gun.

Simple way to get around this is to ask him about his guns. Never in my life did I ever know a gun owner who was not happy to talk about his guns.

-- come on (on@on.com), August 18, 2001.

Maybe he just liked to rub his weapon every once in a while to reinforce his ego.

-- Jack Booted Thug (governmentconspiracy@NWO.com), August 18, 2001.

Or maybe he didn't buy into that psychobabble crap about men who own guns being in need of an ego boost.

-- J (Y2J@home.comm), August 18, 2001.

Oh come on J. You know that your collection gives you an intense feeling of pride and joy. You ever going to loan me that AK-47 so I can learn to shoot straight when the Jack Booted Thugs come for me?

-- Jack Booted Thug (governmentconspiracy@NWO.com), August 18, 2001.

Jack Booted Thug,

No, my family gives me an intense feeling of pride and joy, not my guns.

Getting back to your psychobabble comment about guns and ego, I grew up in a family where all of my brothers, cousins, and uncles hunted, and hence, owned guns. Never was owning a gun seen as some kind of an ego trip; it was simply a fact of life.

As I have said before, I don't own an AK-47. Even if I did, loaning one to you would be foolhardy on my part. I am sure that your wife would sue me before the blood was dry from your self-inflicted wounds. You see, guns are not toys, and as such, they should be kept out of the hands of children and untrained adults. The latter often being difficult to distinguish from the former when around firearms.

No, when the Jack Booted Thugs come for you, you will just have to do your stint in the camp like a good little sheep. But that's better than being paranoid, right? : )

-- J (Y2J@home.comm), August 18, 2001.

Perhaps the reason this well armed patron aroused anxiety, was not the inherent danger he posed to other customers. After all, it doesn't take a gun to mutilate another human being; a steak knife or even a bare hand would be sufficient.

But seeing an overtly armed stranger makes our vulnerability inescapable. That this may be disconcerting is understandable. On the other hand, if our friend had the appropriate training and judgment to carry firearms, the establishment might well have been safer with him present.

-- David L (bumpkin@dnet.net), August 18, 2001.

I agree with Debra. I would NOT have addressed the patron. He could have had MANY reasons for displaying these guns in public, but *I* don't know any of them. Regarding ASKING him why he was displaying these guns, there was a report on the wires today wherein an emergency room official simply told a man that he was entering the emergency room driveway going the wrong way and the man pulled out a gun and killed him.

I behave in the same way on the road. If someone wants to "appear" threatening to other drivers, I'll stop and pull over rather than encounter the person.

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), August 18, 2001.

Look, I fully support the rights of citizens to own the guns of their choice. This is not a large city. There are virtually no crimes committed here with guns, and those are almost always domestic. Broken bottles and knives, sure, but not projectile weapons. I'm in far more danger on my home place outside of town than I am within this city.

He would have been overdoing it by just carrying the two on his waist in terms of his local safety. He didn't have a shred of police ID in sight. My SWAT friends will put their badges on their belts if they're hanging out in street clothes. Even if he is a cop, he's not local uniformed law and he had a vehicle where he could have locked up at least two of the guns.

If he NEEDED to eat armed like that, then he needed to brownbag it somewhere away from unarmed people. I guess I should have just marched up to him and done my best blue-hair imitation of civic outrage and asked him who the hell did he expect to be waiting for him outside...the Columbian Cartel? Asked him if he was insecure about taking care of his problems with just two clips?

It's just personally confusing as hell how I can be totally pro-gun and then feel like I'm pro-gun only as long as it's a right exercised with some sensitivity to local standards of conduct. I think people ought to be allowed to express their sexuality, but I would have objected to having them express it fully while I'm trying to eat my lunch a few feet away.

My gut reaction was about the same as if he had walked in with both cheeks of his hairy butt hanging out, except for worrying about HIS enemies on top of that. It just isn't DONE here. WE don't DO that HERE. His conduct was SO RUDE.

I am my mother. It's happened.

-- helen (hair@turning.blue), August 18, 2001.

Helen,

You knew it would sooner or later. Apparently it's happening a lot sooner than you thought it would?

-- Jack Booted Thug (governmentconspiracy@NWO.com), August 18, 2001.

Why, WHY do two guns stay under my threshold and three or four guns bug me??

-- helen (freedom@for.me.rules.for.you), August 18, 2001.

Helen,

First, you would have to ask him, "excuse me, are you a law enforcement officer?" If he answers yes, a simple "thank you" would suffice.

But if he answers no, I would say, "I applaud your supporting our right to keep and bear arms. However, by carrying openly in public, you represent ALL gun owners. If you appear overly armed and intimidating without apparent cause, you may well leave people thinking about gun owners as "nutcases". Is that really the image that you want to present to the public? We already have enough unconstitutional restrictions on the RKBA. Do we really need to make the public even more anxious, and thus ever more willing to accept more "gun control"? Please, might I suggest that you try to present a more mainstream appearance to the public, by perhaps only carrying a single gun openly, along with extra magazines. I mean these comments in the best spirit of our rights, and as a fellow gunowner."

That should do it...

-- Dennis (djolson@pressenter.com), August 18, 2001.

This man was displaying 4 penises to the diners. He was very proud.

-- (nemesis@awol.com), August 18, 2001.

Ok, here goes:

S-s-sir ...? If you d-d-don't t-t-take at least t-t-two of your g-g-guns off r-r-right now, I'm g-g-gonna c-c-call the p-p-police. I d-d-don't c-c-care if you ARE a c-c-cop. F-f-fine, s-s-so I'll c-c-call your s-s-supervisor and t-t-tell her you're s-s-scaring v-v-voters. Well, then, h-h-how about I j-j-just s-s-stand h-h-here and s-s-stare at your g-g-guns while you t-t-try to eat? N-n-now you're m-m-making me c-c-cry. I'm g-g-gonna s-s-stand here c-c-crying and b-b-blowing s-s-snot b-b-bubbles while you eat. I h-h-have a r-r-right to m-m-my f-f-feelings. I g-g-gotta r-r-right to f-f-free s-s-speech and I'm g-g-gonna s-s-stand h-h-here exercising it until you d-d-do what I s-s-say.

Maybe he'll hit me and I'll be able to get his permits pulled.

-- helen (my@rights.are.paramount), August 19, 2001.

Dennis.. Excellent post. Good idea and very well worded. If he was just an armed person with no bad intentions it tends to make us all look like gun nuts and reflects poorly on all gun owners.

-- we (me@us.com), August 19, 2001.

Dearest we, the reason I didn't approach him was because he by golly looked like a gun nut. Once in a while, maybe not every time, but sometimes, a heavily armed person in plain street clothes who carries an unusual arsenal is REALLY GOING TO START SHOOTING.

-- helen (forget@dessert.my.tummy.hurts), August 19, 2001.

Didn't see the camera did ya Helen? Another unpaid extra. Looking foreward to the movie.

-- Carlos (riffraff@cybertime.net), August 19, 2001.

Too bad this dude was not in Luby's Cafeteria in Killeen TX on Oct 14, 1991.

-- Lars (lars@indy.net), August 19, 2001.

Or the McDonald's massacre in San Ysidro CA on July 18, 1984 (21 dead).

-- Lars (lars@indy.net), August 19, 2001.