A little girl was playing in the garden when she spotted two spiders mating.

"Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked.

"They're mating," her father replied.

"What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?"

"That's a daddy longlegs," her father answered.

"So, the other one is a mommy longlegs?" the girl asked.

"No," her father replied. "Both of them are daddy longlegs."

The little girl thought about it for a moment then took her foot and stamped them flat. "Well, we're not having any of THAT in OUR garden."

A DEFENSE ATTORNEY was cross-examining the police officer who had responded to an accident in which the defendant had rear-ended another car. The policeman testified that he had smelled liquor on the accused's breath. The lawyer got the officer to agree that the collision had ruptured the radiator of his client's car, spilling antifreeze onto the ground. "So," the legal eagle continued, "might it not be true that you smelled antifreeze, not alcohol?" "Yes," replied the officer, "if that's what he was drinking." -- Contributed to Reader's Digest "All in a Day's Work" by William T. Prince

A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, "Mommy, why does the girl wear white?"

His mom replies, "The bride is in white because she's happy and this is the happiest day of her life."

The boy thinks about this, and then says, "Well then, why is the boy wearing black?"

Quick Wit:

A Female Comeback:

Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

-- Anonymous, August 16, 2001