guilty as charged. Just been banned for 12 months and £500 fine.

Circumstances? Couple at lunchtime... leave work at 3:30 as I've got to pack the car to catch the 8:30 ferry to France. Tootling up a windy lane on the motorbike... car coming round right hander towards me cuts the corner and takes me out. I wake up 15 minutes later in an ambulance wondering where the f*** I am. Breath test. arrest.

Pollis were actually very sympathetic as I wasn't at fault for the prang and got me home and off on my hols when they should really have had me in court within 2 days. Hospital on the ferry, hospital in St. Malo... Severe internal bleeding in right arm and leg, broken ribs, concussion. 3 wks later I can now walk OK and can nearly straighten my arm (golf? ... not for a while! my partner in the semi-final of the 4-ball isn't to pleased). Interesting that the ambulance crew that picked me off the road unconscious said I was OK and no injuies!

So... up in court today (my 20th wedding anniversary ... I'll leave ou to speculate on my other half's feelings!)

Moral of the tale... choose from:
1) don't drink and drive
2) don't get caught
3) don't get hit by other drivers (especially if you are on a motorbike)
4) don't venture out on the roads at all... they are unsafe

I'm just glad I'm alive... the pollis were amazed when I suddenly stood up after having been lying in the road KO'd

-- Anonymous, August 15, 2001

Answers

Any Previous?

No m'lud

-- Anonymous, August 15, 2001

Some people will do anything for a few weeks off work. :-)

Very pleased you're OK Geordie - that's the main thing - we can rush you straight back into the first team - you're too good for a runout in the resorves.

Sorry to hear about the offence. It's absolutely basic. Never go over the limit no matter how careful a driver you are. You can be stopped and tested for a lightbulb not working or somebody rams into you from behind. Not your fault - but it'll cost you in fines and inflated insurance premiums.

Now can I get you a drink - or do you want a lift somewhere?

-- Anonymous, August 15, 2001

Totally agree.... don't drink and drive. This was a one-off mistake. I have been know to walk home 7 miles rather than drive.

Mine's a pint.... now where did I leave my bike?

-- Anonymous, August 15, 2001

Commiserations. Glad you pulled through. It's going to cost an awful lot of shopping, you can just tell...

-- Anonymous, August 15, 2001

ACK!! bad luck man :((

-- Anonymous, August 15, 2001

Just tell the missus it was my fault....that's what every other bloke I know does... ;))

-- Anonymous, August 15, 2001

Already did Gav ;-)

-- Anonymous, August 15, 2001

Do not go to the hospital Mrs Softie went to. Or are you one of the reasons she was gazzumped?

Glad to hear you are OK or is that KO? Any lasting trouble straightening your arm?

-- Anonymous, August 15, 2001

Gavin Heron - the thinking man's excuse for everything ;-)

Sorry to hear of your motorcycle accident, but relieved to hear you made it :-) You're lucky. One of my best friend's brother in law lost the lower half of one leg when a driver pulled out of a entrance and sent him flying 100 ft. Still really into his bikes, mind.

Give me a chauffeured limo any day of the week.

-- Anonymous, August 15, 2001

An expensive lesson learnt there Geordie - it's the law of sod that says that the one time you do it is the time you come a cropper. You're in one piece, that's the main thing.

-- Anonymous, August 15, 2001

I'm sure the arm will straighten soon. The injury was in effect squishing all the muscles etc on my fore-arm to the bone.... no breaks. I can move it around OK now but it's painful.

I think I've ridden my last bike. 'er indoors wouldn't let me have another now. Helmet and leather jacket did their jobs though!

-- Anonymous, August 15, 2001

Mine's a pint.... now where did I leave my bike?

In a field, by the sounds of it :-( Geordie - I'm v sorry about the accident but v v relieved you're OK. As for the missus, just remind her bloles have been killed on a golf course. No, on second thoughts, tell her you love her and won't do it again.

-- Anonymous, August 15, 2001

Sorry about your accident and relieved your ok. Afterall who else would have done the team pick competition?

-- Anonymous, August 15, 2001

Commiserations mate, count your blessings - at least you're on the mend!

You mustn't drink and drive, you might spill some, esp. if you're on a motorbike! ;7)

-- Anonymous, August 15, 2001